Print

Please login or register.
1 Hour 1 Day 1 Week 1 Month Forever
Login with username, password and session length

[lawastooshort]

"I thought he had the guns?"

[Toaster]

"..."

Larry made an unpleasant face.

"...Fine.  Let's take his money and our porn and get out of here."

Do so.

[lawastooshort]

"Look, I'm not from round here - you say he had guns, I believe he has guns, right? You're the pawnshop expert. Let's go traipse the streets finding some suckers to get addicted to creepy porn then - anyone causes any hassle I'm potatoing the crap outta them, no questions. Then let's blow all our takings in a strip club. And then rob them back."

Approach folks in the street offering them gentleman's literature at a good price. Knock door to door if we can't find anyone.

[Pancaek]

Yes we are!

"indeed we are. With varying usefulness, I'm afraid."

[Nunzillor]

What country does this game take place in?  Do civilians or police have fairly unrestricted access to weapons, including firearms?

If you're in England, you'd probably be okay.

[Harry Baldman]

What country does this game take place in?

A version of Eagleland done by a person who's never actually been there and which thus runs mostly on GM guesswork and is probably more like Eastern Europe in most ways.

[Toaster]

A legit answer.


"Yeah, sure.  The plan has strippers so it must be good."

[Harry Baldman]

Yes we are!

"indeed we are. With varying usefulness, I'm afraid."

"That's pretty troubling, him giving you magic and then sending you out to get us. Ah well. Guess I'll go home then, at least - I think you'll need to make some more convincing arguments to get Luz and Trey to go back, though. They think they're in love or whatever. You know how it goes."

* * * * *

Things grow tense at the pawn shop as Larry and Halesey come to terms with the fact that they aren't getting any money yet.

"We could sell you potatoes?' says Larry in annoyance. Halesey, however, doesn't quite agree with this.

"I'd probably offer the potatoes for free if two lawyers didn't know we'd been here. Hmm. Ten bucks is probably a deal, if you give us enough bags to take the rest away too."

"Yeah, sure. I'll get you some bags. And I'll pass on the potatoes," Klein says and goes to look for something to pack all the mags in. He seems to have forgotten that he is currently naked. While he's busy, Larry and Halesey discuss their plans a bit, and manage to agree on taking a more direct sales approach. When Klein returns, their plan is all worked out, and it even includes strippers! Happy day! Klein, though, has some bad news. He is also still nude.

"Well, I do have a bunch of trash bags, but I doubt you guys will be able to fit all of the mags in there. I could keep them around here unless you mind. Not gonna touch them, obviously."

[lawastooshort]

"Er, yeah, I guess that's okay. We'll come back for the rest when we've sold these then. Cheers dude. Larry, let's go sell some magazines in the street or something. Hey, pawnshop dude - you can keep that one for free if you open up the stapled centrefold and tell me what's on it?"

Head out into the street with the stash and try to sell some to the first man we find.

[Nunzillor]

This venture can end in nothing but success!  In terms of creating amusement for the readers, that is.

[Toaster]

Larry just glowers at this.  "Oh yeah, this'll work.  Just be all HEY WHO WANTS TO BUY OUR USED PORNO?  Let's ask that dude," he said, pointing at a guy on the sidewalk.  He walks up to him before Halesey can say anything.  "Hey buddy, wanna buy a bag of god porn?  Craziest shit you'll ever see, made some other guy forget all about pants forever!"

Accost random stranger with porn.

[Harry Baldman]

Halesey sees nothing wrong with leaving his porn in the possession of the man with no pants.

"Er, yeah, I guess that's okay. We'll come back for the rest when we've sold these then. Cheers dude. Larry, let's go sell some magazines in the street or something. Hey, pawnshop dude - you can keep that one for free if you open up the stapled centrefold and tell me what's on it?"

Klein tilts his head and makes a doubtful face.

"I'd rather not risk it. Who knows what could happen?"

Ah well, guess he could show that thing to somebody else anyway. Grabbing a bag o' smut, Halesey and his loyal confederate Larry head out to seek a market for this amazing stuff they've got. Midway through, Larry seems to realize a flaw in the plan.

"Oh yeah, this'll work.  Just be all HEY WHO WANTS TO BUY OUR USED PORNO?  Let's ask that dude," he says, walking up to a tall, muscular man in a business suit with a suitcase, rather thick-framed glasses and a suspiciously fashionable haircut.

"Hey buddy, wanna buy a bag of god porn? Craziest shit you'll ever see, made some other guy forget all about pants forever!"

The man stares at him quizzically for what feels like a rather long time. His eyes dart one way, then the other, then settle back on Larry. His mouth stretches into a grin equal parts toothy and skeevy.

"Do I ever! Shucks, man! What've you got, and how much?"

[lawastooshort]

"Dude," reckons Halesey, addressing Larry, "This guy's hair is totally suspicious, man. We should show him the stapled centrefold. Or potato him. 'Cept it's a bit close for that, so maybe just blast him in the face with musical garbage to soften him up as part two of the sales pitch..."

Halesey turns back to the grinning pervert.

"Dude, check this out. Just a sample, man."

Unveil the stapled centrefold at the man's eyes. If he tries anything funny except giving us cash, musical garbage blast him in the face.

[scapheap]

"Any idea on where they would go?"

Spoiler: Clair Malk (click to show/hide)

body:0
finesse:1
mind:3
affinity:2

Spells:
1. Teleport Vase
2. Render Cabbage Undetectable
3. Scandalous Potato Bolt

[Pancaek]

"You said you thought Luz and Trey were being...intimate right now, right? Any idea in what room they are? Because really, the faster we get you guys back, the better this will be for all of us."