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[Cheesecake]

"Let's go get that finger then."

[Harry Baldman]

Halesey tries to deflect the impending gruesome, tubery conflict by falling back to a time-honored strategy.

"Let me handle this," he says, turning to Larry. "We don’t need to… take special action just yet. I speak both street and young person speak, although they are sometimes tinged with a little of my native dialect."

He turns to Willy and begins.

"Yo. Sup, bludstar? Yam aright? What youm doim round ere our kid? Dangerous in there, ay it? Know’m sayin? It’d be right bostin if yow just fecked off back ome to yer mom and pops. Wim just concerned for yer safety, ay it? I bay gooin' ter tell yow agen, aiight?" he explains, then turns back to Larry to provide a translation.

"I have asked the young man if he is having a pleasant day, and asked him his business. I have then proceeded to inform him that this location is not safe, and that a preferable course of action for him would be to return home to his parents. I have then added that I say this out of concern for his wellbeing, but that I shouldn’t like to have to repeat myself."

"Good thing you told me, because I thought you were talking alien for a second," Larry replies, eyeballing Halesey with what one wouldn't describe as a great deal of trust. After devoting his gaze to Halesey for a moment, though, he realizes that his energy is perhaps best spent on other activities. Like giving the newcomers a very similar, yet somehow more hostile look that is commonly dubbed the stinkeye. So he does that instead.

Regrettably, neither Halesey's verbal stylings nor Larry's nonverbal hostility seem to have had an effect - in fact, the two newcomers don't seem to have noticed either.

"Let's go get that finger, then," the child simply states.

"Yes! Let us proceed!" the crazed-looking man replies, and takes the child by the arm, running right past Halesey and Larry as if they weren't even there, disappearing into the stairwell. This is rather distressing.

What is even more distressing is that there seem to be coughing, zombie-like smiling people also invading the factory. Like, seven of them from the looks of it. They aren't too fast, seems like, but they nonetheless seem somewhat unsavory, what with their goofy grins and relaxed expressions combined with what sounds like the cough of a lifetime.

"Aw, heck. Why does today have to be so wrong in every way?" the Jesus-dude says while slowly backing away from the weird people.

[scapheap]

Let us track down these drop outs

[Toaster]

Larry shakes with rage.  "Hell with this!  This is our house!"

Golem Beam at the zombie-like people!  Tell the golems to guard the damn factory.

[Harry Baldman]

In Mr. Lee's pawn shop, people seem to be reacting rather variably to Mr. Lee's offer.

Firstly, there's Samuel, who pays it absolutely no mind and chooses to stuff his face with chips and psychedelic dip. With each bite, he feels more and more out of it! This is good, he thinks. The little rainbow cultist on his shoulder evidently agrees, nodding along rhythmically with whatever he seems to be doing.

Wait, what is he doing? Oh, right. Looking at the magazine. Samuel opens it up, and prepares to be amazed!

[Samuel's mind roll: 5-1+2]

Samuel feels the world fade away as he stares at the pretty squiggles. One of them looks like a goat for some reason. Hm. To know for sure, he plants his mouth on the squiggle, running his tongue over the page. It sure tastes like goat, he thinks. Must be the genuine article. He traces his finger around its neck, and beckons it to come over - it does so! He gives it a hug, and it disappears. Goddammit! Why does this always happen? Samuel shakes his head vigorously. He refuses to accept this. Now, he must think about this rationally. Goats don't disappear just like that. Clearly there must be, like, a trap door here somewhere. And Samuel suspects that trail of spectral powder on the ground leads right to it. He snorts at the line, hoping to get the scent of the goat - he does catch a whiff of it, but his nose fills with powder in the meantime. Luckily, that only makes everything feel better, so he just continues on his way. Snorting the line as he follows it on all fours, he moves through the store until he comes to a wall, bumping his head lightly on the wall.

Strangely, everything begins to make sense now!

Spoiler: Samuel's Spell Choices (click to show/hide)

1. Fragment Booze
2. Mashed Potato Beam
3. Undulating Peach Golem Wall

!emosewa eb ot eraD !ekil uoy yna kcip dna daeha oG !sllep-*record scratch*-pells! Go ahead and pick any you like! Dare to be awesome!

While Samuel rolls around on the floor, Mr. Lee and the triplets watch with bemusement.

"What's happening to him?"

"Kids, what he's seeing none of us'll ever understand. That's why you use dip in moderation is all I'll say."

John, still in a state of mind where he can appreciate the moral, takes a look at his book one more time.

[John's mind roll: 5+1]

His mind is clearly growing more relaxed to the intrusion of foreign knowledge - the spheres are now rather easy to catch, and he seems to be able to retain all of them, curiously enough. Granted, it would come at the expense of his current spells, but still.

Spoiler: John's Spell Choices (click to show/hide)

1. Conjure Pitiful Clothespin
2. Implode Desk
3. Detonate Meth-head

Yes! The dip works wonders, it seems! Take any of these you like, or take none at all! Your choice! Your mind! You're free! Free as a bird!

Clair, meanwhile, has had enough of these antics. She's gonna track down this bunch of dropouts and bring them home, getting in touch with the inner rock of her soul and channeling it with her gaze. She then gives Mr. Lee a purposeful stare. It takes him a moment to notice.

"Hm? Yeah? Did you consider my offer?"

Clair nods stonily.

"Are you going to do it?"

Clair nods again.

"Great. I knew I could count on you kids. The people you're looking for are these girls called Raven Carpenter, Shauna Richmond and Luz Littleman, and another kid by the name of Trey Hooper. They're about high school age, I think. I know Trey's been in trouble before, but other than that they used to be mostly harmless, I guess. Good kids. Don't know what happened to them - if you find them, try and find out, huh? Also, they've got magic and all now, but they're still kids. Don't be too rough on them, you hear?" Mr. Lee says, making sure both John and Clair heard him. "Now, I've got good reason to suspect they might be someplace in the abandoned row bordering the factory district, judging from what the parents have told me - I don't want to send my boys there because they don't have any magic and I can't give them any, but you should be fine. I think. Maybe you should wait for the dip to wear off before you go anywhere, though. It can be disorienting, you know?"

The mission is clear. The objective is set. Now to decide the approach.

[lawastooshort]

There's a slight kinda bobbling in Halesey's eyes. They kinda... bobble. Bulge. Twitch. No one can actually see this, it's entirely in his mind. It's just kinda what it feels like as he tries to resist The Power.

"Ah man..."

He sees Larry shake with The Power.

"Shit..."

Halesey used to be a pretty patient dude, you know, calm, not easy to rile, that kind of thing. Easy going, ish.

"They just can't... y'know... bust in an' shit... You know, Larry, I think this book has kinda stolen my head, or something, and it's like I don't give a shit that it's stolen my head, 'cos I got a better fecking head to replace it with, you knoww'I'msaying? Like, a better fecking head, man, like, man, they got like ten fecking seconds to get the feck away from my fecking leyline before I blast their asses right into potato feckin' hell, man, shit... That's what it feels like my head, my new better feckin' head, is like, telling me to do, man... Awww."

He gets the twitch under control, shoots his hands out at the zombie fools, and produces a barrier of hairy mafiosi. He commands his hairy mafiosi to stop the zombie freaks from entering the factory.

He doesn't care how.

It's all he can do to keep potato hell up his sleeve.

[scapheap]

"Will do, but first, do you have a Cabbage I could borrow?"

Spoiler: Clair Malk (click to show/hide)

body:0
finesse:1
mind:3
affinity:2

Spells:
1. Teleport Vase
2. Render Cabbage Undetectable

[Harry Baldman]

"Will do, but first, do you have a Cabbage I could borrow?"

"I don't think I do. Mrs. Lee hates the stuff. There's a grocery store down the street, though. Should still be open - it's not even six o' clock yet."

[scapheap]

To the grocery.

[Pancaek]

accompany clair to the grocery store

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

body:1
finesse:2
mind:1
affinity:2

Spells:
1. implode desk
2. detonate meth-head
3. Attract Sausages
4. Banish Wig

[Gamerlord]

Follow Clair while reading.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Body: 2
Finesse: 3
Mind: 0
Affinity: 1

Spells:
1. Rain Of Sweaty Ducks
2. Animate Cookies
3. Undulating Peach Golem Wall

[Harry Baldman]

Larry can't abide this disrespect of newly acquired personal property - these happy zombies are itching to get themselves wrecked right here.

"Hell with this!  This is our house!" he shouts, pointing at the miniature horde of invaders.

[Larry's affinity roll: 2+1]
[Larry's finesse roll: 6-->2]
[Happy TB Person 1's body roll: 6-->5]

He aligns his palm with the face of the nearest happy zombie, firing off a single alkaline trouser golem at it! It flies through the air, impacting the person's face and bouncing up into the air, landing right behind the bunch of people. The person it hit doesn't seem overly bothered, although it does seem that something is seriously broken in her face now. Oh well. Larry shouts for the golem to protect the factory. It doesn't seem to have heard him.

Halesey, meanwhile, tries to resist the power that he calls... The Power. The Power is quite the tempting thing, you see.

"Ah man... Shit..." he mumbles to himself as his eyes bobble and twitch imperceptibly. This magic happening is beginning to set him off.

"They just can't... y'know... bust in an' shit... You know, Larry, I think this book has kinda stolen my head, or something, and it's like I don't give a shit that it's stolen my head, 'cos I got a better fecking head to replace it with, you knoww'I'msaying? Like, a better fecking head, man, like, man, they got like ten fecking seconds to get the feck away from my fecking leyline before I blast their asses right into potato feckin' hell, man, shit... That's what it feels like my head, my new better feckin' head, is like, telling me to do, man... Awww."

His imperceptible twitch subsides as he shoots out his hand in the direction of the freaky zombies.

[Halesey's affinity roll: 2]

However, the mafiosi refuse to appear. Maybe... maybe this is a sign? A sign that there are... better alternatives? As the zombie people are slowly getting to an uncomfortable distance of about twenty meters away from Halesey and Larry, the thought becomes more and more urgent. They're faster than they look. Not a lot faster, but still.

The Jesus-dude, for his part, does his best to take his two squatter friends out of the way of the slow zombie procession, and he succeeds at this rather easily, as his two friends seem to recognize their need to avoid jubilant and coughing people.

* * * * *

Clair quickly ascertains that her next objective is very clearly the grocery store, and heads over there, accompanied by John. The sudden movement in the room is enough to alert Samuel, who stirs from his resting place. What was that? Those footsteps sounded like Clair's. But he can't see the source! And they are getting further away! No! Samuel, not ready to be left alone in this world just yet, follows the rhythmic sound of Clair's footsteps on all fours, equally unready for two-legged forms of self-conveyance. As he half-crawls, half-rolls out into the street, he guesses he's got this following thing down - now it's time to mix this shit up a little. He transitions to full-on rolling, taking the magazine, opening it and somersaulting along the street in a series of fluid motions.

[Samuel's mind roll: 5-1+2]

He finds that the spinning sensation of rolling about helps with the absorption of forbidden knowledge, and is most delighted by the way he keeps discovering new things today.

Spoiler: Samuel's Spell Choices (click to show/hide)

1. Teleport Cabbage
2. Poisonous Tea Wave
3. Shrink Licorice

Don't stop researching! Don't ever give up! Take any spells you want, and don't ever stop believing!

Meanwhile, Clair and John wonder what the hell is Samuel doing right behind them. He seems to have forgotten how to walk, hilariously enough. That dude is fucked up, for real. For some reason, the sight makes both of them draw dangerously close to cracking up, so they ignore him for now, as they have reached the grocery store - an MMMart very much like any other you'd find in the city, complete with mildly disgruntled personnel, low prices and a lot of early Christmas decorations. The aforementioned personnel are only mildly disturbed by Samuel's inability to stand.

"Excuse me, but is that man with you?" a friendly security guard asks John and Clair. The two less stoned mages wonder how quickly one should reply 'no sir' in these circumstances.

[Toaster]

"Halesey..."

[lawastooshort]

"I knew you'd understand me, man," says Halesey, turning to Larry and making as if to put a hand on the dude's shoulder, but then stopping, as if the thought of touching anything non-potato was filthily repugnant to him.

"Don't worry though, I'll just fire off... just a few bits... of hell... just to, y'know, like a warning shot, or something."

He turned back to face the approaching horde of imbecilic infestation. He fought the urge to become nude. He couldn't really remember his own self well enough, or his surroundings, suddenly, to remember if he was nude or not in any case. He felt like the day he'd been born: full of wonder. And nude.

At least that's how he reckoned he must've been born. Naked, obviously, but probably pretty, like, amazed too. Amazed and inconvenienced. Put out. Screaming with fecking anger at being ripped out of his comfortable little leyline filled rundown factory, and irritated to hell at this bunch of grinning gobshites walking at him. He could remember it like it was yesterday. Grinning gobshites walking at him. Slowly. Walking fecking slowly, man, what the hell was that about? They should either damn well stand still or walk like a man.

He didn't know if the walking slowly fecked him right off more than the grinning or not.

Any eejit that could grin like that when they hadn't been touched by the potato was a goddamn fool.

"Don't worry man," Halesey said blankly, as the plague of fools got nearer, "It won't be like last time."

He spoke to his foe.

"You cannot pass," he spake, and the smiling halfwits remained silent, "I am the wielder of the ultimate potato based power, and I'm gonna feckin' well potato your asses to hell, yer big pack of grinning assbiscuits."

Cast Potato Vortex on the face of the lead tuberculosis zombie.

[Cheesecake]

"Hey Pete, who are these guys? Why'd they get better magicks than me?"

"No fair!"

Willy turns and faces the two new guys. "Hey! I want powers too!"

Grab the Finger then complain about not having powers.