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Author Topic: The Forgotten Art: Approaching the Nexus  (Read 273666 times)

Harry Baldman

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Re: The Forgotten Art: The Making of a Sanctum
« Reply #390 on: October 19, 2013, 05:36:41 am »

Larry's a bit pissed now, and reacts appropriately.

"You fucked up, asshole!"

[Larry's finesse vs. Man's finesse: 3 vs. 2+1]

The two adversaries act simultaneously, Larry casting a mighty spell as the sharp-dressed individual leaps toward him!

[Larry's affinity roll: 2+1]
[Man's body vs. Larry's body: 3+1 vs. 4-1]

As a small trail of snot pours out of Larry's nose, the fellow attacking him nearly flies past, clipping Larry's shoulder with a flying knee. Larry spins around in the direction of the man, only to see him suddenly disappear into thin air. How unusual.

[Larry's finesse roll: 5-1]

Suddenly, another man hits him from an altogether different direction, impacting Larry like a human missile!

[Larry's body roll: 2-1]

Larry is caught off-guard by the strike, and loses his footing on the mucus-encrusted ground. He is now on his stomach, and a man appears to be clutching at him.

"Life will kill you, don't you know," said man explains.

Halesey, meanwhile, examines the area for something like a foe. He looks about for a moment, noticing Larry on the ground with yet another horrible man placed atop him. Probably not a good idea to blast him. Then there's also... wait, there's a guy over there. Short, thin, dark-skinned dude, from the looks of it. Quite unkempt and dressed in terribly old and probably lice-infested clothing. He looks... and smells... like a wizard! Not to mention there's a pair of pants orbiting around him. Only one conclusion to make, then.

[Halesey's affinity roll: 3-1]

Instinctively, Halesey thrusts his palm outward at the fellow, but no musical garbage comes out, sadly. At least it doesn't look like the dude is aware that Halesey can see him pretty clearly. How long that will last, though, is up for-

No, wait. The guy turns to Halesey, apparently pronouncing Larry to be quite done for the moment, and looks Halesey right in the eyes. Halesey isn't entirely sure, but it seems like the guy is... scared, maybe?

Elizabeth, after providing a short running commentary on the situation, focuses on her problems again. Recognizing that perhaps racist beaver vortexes do not hold the solution to this situation, she tries to get better magic instead.

Hey, so, um. I am in a regrettably literal sticky situation, and clearly what I need is more spells. Can you hit me with your best shot?

~sure thing. hold on.~

[Elizabeth's mind roll: 6-->6+1]

A jolt runs through Elizabeth's body, and she convulses violently, ripping out a small chunk of her hair that's stuck to the floor as a tidal wave of magic sweeps across her mind. And yet the wave, powerful and primal as it is, also feels incredibly familiar somehow. Had Elizabeth ever had the time and inclination to surf, she would understand the feeling - the taming of a swirling, advancing force, riding the wave out and feeling a curious fulfillment after not falling over and landing in the box jellyfish-infested waters of scenic Australia. It's violent, yet pleasant in a way, and Elizabeth's brain swells with the influx of wide and varied magical powers.

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Errol

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Re: The Forgotten Art: The Making of a Sanctum
« Reply #391 on: October 19, 2013, 07:51:38 am »

No jackpot. Well, perhaps she could try the racist beavers. ...nah, terrible idea. Why'd she even keep the spell? Perhaps she should just try...

Wait. Over there. That had to be the summoner. With that appearance, it was no wonder that he wanted to stay behind him mop golems and sharp gentleman summon and... he had some explaining to do for the existentialists.

Cut off his escape path with a glowing pigeon barrier.

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Toaster

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Re: The Forgotten Art: The Making of a Sanctum
« Reply #392 on: October 19, 2013, 10:13:06 am »

Good old Enchant Communist.  Can't go wrong with that- McCarthy would love to have had that to weed out the commies.



"Asshole!"

Fire another trouser golem beam at him!
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HMR stands for Hazardous Materials Requisition, not Horrible Massive Ruination, though I can understand how one could get confused.
God help us if we have to agree on pizza toppings at some point. There will be no survivors.

Harry Baldman

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Re: The Forgotten Art: The Making of a Sanctum
« Reply #393 on: October 20, 2013, 07:50:45 am »

So, currently need la to post, and Dwarmin would be nice to have as well. I'll give la one more day, and if he's not around by then, I'll be open to suggestions.
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lawastooshort

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Re: The Forgotten Art: The Making of a Sanctum
« Reply #394 on: October 20, 2013, 09:18:00 am »

Prepare potato vortex. Point to wizard wizardly and speak thusly:

"Dude, give in. Call off your men and renounce your claims to this place, or I'll unleash power that'll make your damn golems look as puny as they damn well are. You got ten seconds to start leaving, or to pledge allegiance to me, or you spend the rest of your lives in nudist potato hell. No more fecking about."
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Re: The Forgotten Art: The Making of a Sanctum
« Reply #395 on: October 20, 2013, 10:18:30 am »

Larry winced.  "He's not fucking about, dude."
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HMR stands for Hazardous Materials Requisition, not Horrible Massive Ruination, though I can understand how one could get confused.
God help us if we have to agree on pizza toppings at some point. There will be no survivors.

Harry Baldman

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Re: The Forgotten Art: The Making of a Sanctum
« Reply #396 on: October 20, 2013, 12:15:11 pm »

Elizabeth, not quite as satisfied with her new set of spells as she hoped she would be, tries to make herself useful with what she already had - glowing pigeons!

[Elizabeth's affinity roll: 4+1]

A wall of glowing, fluttering pigeons appears at the ruined wall leading inside the office, blocking the way out in a most inconvenient manner.

Larry, hoping to ward off the man that is on top of him, tries to fire off a trouser golem beam!

[Larry's affinity roll: 2+1]
[Larry's finesse roll: 2]

As he tries to aim at the man on his back, a single alkaline trouser golem flies out of his palm, sailing off in a parabolic arc and landing nearby. This proves distinctly unhelpful.

"What was that just now? A golem made of pants? How quaint."

Halesey, having gotten a visual on his adversary at last, proclaims a dire warning to him.

"Dude, give in. Call off your men and renounce your claims to this place, or I'll unleash power that'll make your damn golems look as puny as they damn well are. You got ten seconds to start leaving, or to pledge allegiance to me, or you spend the rest of your lives in nudist potato hell. No more fecking about," he says, trying his best to channel the infernal power of the potato vortex, but not really getting too good of a reception. This talking must be distracting him.

"I would, but I don't like shitheads musclin' in on peace-lovin' people's territory. Matter o' principle," the fellow answers, then opens up his arms. Halesey hears a sound like a metal plate wobbling as something suddenly clashes near him. Looking to his right, he notices the sharp-dressed man.

"Hello. I hope you're enjoying yourself, because the night's only beginning!" he says, dusting off his tuxedo.
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lawastooshort

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Re: The Forgotten Art: The Making of a Sanctum
« Reply #397 on: October 20, 2013, 12:27:01 pm »

"Peace loving? You started this shit, dickwad. And you're gonna end it - in nudist potato hell, sucker!"

Potato vortex the crap out of that hippy! Maximum potato!


Okay then, let's give diplomacy one last chance.

Use my mental powers to resist potato vortexing the crap out of that hippy immediately and instead prepare an even greater potato vortex to bring down on the existentio-fascist hippy scum!

((although I might change my mind in the morning))
« Last Edit: October 20, 2013, 03:09:11 pm by lawastooshort »
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Errol

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Re: The Forgotten Art: The Making of a Sanctum
« Reply #398 on: October 20, 2013, 12:37:39 pm »

"Er, hello? Everyone? This appears to be a colossal misunderstanding. We were only driven by curiosity and did not cause any harm to anyone... er, one man might be rather freaked out, and this day has certainly strained my patience. But there's no reason why we can't actually TALK THIS OUT. HERE. AND. NOW."

Immobilizing pigeon barriers for everyone!
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Toaster

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Re: The Forgotten Art: The Making of a Sanctum
« Reply #399 on: October 20, 2013, 08:48:29 pm »

Larry guffaws lamely.  "You might say it SNOT the time for peace!"

Evoke mucus over the aggressors!
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HMR stands for Hazardous Materials Requisition, not Horrible Massive Ruination, though I can understand how one could get confused.
God help us if we have to agree on pizza toppings at some point. There will be no survivors.

Harry Baldman

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Re: The Forgotten Art: The Making of a Sanctum
« Reply #400 on: October 21, 2013, 02:18:32 pm »

Halesey tries to resist the urge to potato vortex the living hell out of this filthy hippie, glaring at the man with the utmost ambivalence as he prepares his next attack.

[Elizabeth's finesse vs. Sharp-Dressed Man's finesse: 6-->3-1 vs. 4+1]
[Elizabeth's affinity roll: 5+1]

Suddenly, Halesey is encircled by a pipe-shaped, rather tight barrier of glowing pigeons of uncertain origin! Though surprised, Halesey takes the brief respite from glorious combat (even though one might say the true fight has not begun yet) to prepare what may be the mightiest vortex yet - he feels the power of tubers smash against the walls of dimensions, mentally locating a spot where the barrier seems weakest and poises himself to magically strike at it, hopefully tearing a hole in the fabric of the multiverse in the process.

Elizabeth, having crafted the barrier that immobilized her dear yet extremely dangerous acquaintance, speaks to the warring wizards.

"Er, hello? Everyone? This appears to be a colossal misunderstanding. We were only driven by curiosity and did not cause any harm to anyone... er, one man might be rather freaked out, and this day has certainly strained my patience. But there's no reason why we can't actually TALK THIS OUT. HERE. AND. NOW."

"Comin' from the people who blew my goddamn door down. Get the hell outta here first, then we talk elsewhere. That's the best offer I can give y'all. Take it, or we fight to the death, 'cause I sure as hell ain't bendin' to a bunch of assholes stormin' in here like they own the place."

The man waves his arm, materializing a small wall of pants that he starts to wield similarly to a shield.

Larry, meanwhile, contributes greatly to the peace talks.

"You might say it SNOT the time for peace!" he says, guffawing as he tries to evoke more mucus.

[Larry's affinity roll: 4+1]
[Larry's finesse roll: 4]

Larry twists his head around in a somewhat uncomfortable fashion, pointing his nose at the man pinning him to the ground. The rather somber-looking gentleman on his back is promptly hit in the face with a massive, extremely filthy sneeze that envelops his entire features and shoulders in a thick layer of snot.

[Fellow's body roll: 6-->1]

The man simply runs his hand over his face, wiping off a rather large amount of mucus and hurling it away. He stares sternly at Larry, scowling with disgust.

"You should be ashamed," he says, genuine resentment in his voice.
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lawastooshort

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Re: The Forgotten Art: The Making of a Sanctum
« Reply #401 on: October 21, 2013, 03:23:29 pm »

"Your door, buttmunch?! This is public propery, dickweasel, unless you're Mr... Mr... Unused Factory Corp, or something... Prepare to leave, yer bleedin' arsebiscuit, and don't say I didn't warn you when you're crawling around crying for your mummy about how you're all naked and trapped in an eternity of vegetable! FEEL MY POTATOES, FECKER!"

Absorb the power of the ley line and Potato Vortex the crap out of that hippy! Maximum potato!
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Toaster

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Re: The Forgotten Art: The Making of a Sanctum
« Reply #402 on: October 21, 2013, 03:32:14 pm »

Larry twitches.  "Now you've done it."


BRACE FOR POTATOES AND AVOID BEING SUCKED IN
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HMR stands for Hazardous Materials Requisition, not Horrible Massive Ruination, though I can understand how one could get confused.
God help us if we have to agree on pizza toppings at some point. There will be no survivors.

Harry Baldman

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Re: The Forgotten Art: The Making of a Sanctum
« Reply #403 on: October 23, 2013, 09:02:37 am »

Need Errol to post, and I suppose I'll PM Dwarmin as well.
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Errol

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Re: The Forgotten Art: The Making of a Sanctum
« Reply #404 on: October 23, 2013, 09:21:06 am »

FUCKING GET AWAY FROM THE POTATOES APPEARANCE BE DAMNED
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