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[The Froggy Ninja]

*psychic god link Go!* HOLD ON MAN! I NEED THAT JIMMY JAM TO STAY ALIVE UNTIL I CAN FIX THIS!

[Harry Baldman]

"Huh.  Can't we just kick the door down?"

"That'd be kind of rude and obvious, methinks. Hm. But the door looks pretty shitty, so I guess it could work. Well, no harm in trying!"

Cal gives the office door a swift boot, and from his foot comes an unpleasant crack as the door proves much less shitty than expected. He falls back, gripping his foot and groaning.

*psychic god link Go!* HOLD ON MAN! I NEED THAT JIMMY JAM TO STAY ALIVE UNTIL I CAN FIX THIS!

The Denture God doesn't appear to acknowledge your attempts at addressing it! You're beginning to fade out.

"What to do now, though?" the Denture God wonders aloud, lonely in its own domain.

[Toaster]

Larry rolled his eyes.  "You call that a kick?  Take one of these and try it again."

Bless Angel on Cal!  If he still can't kick it down, hit it with a Blue Smut Angel Boomerang!

Spoiler: Larry Sheet (click to show/hide)

Current Name:  Larry Malone, Blessed of Angels
Inventory: Magic Binder, Telescopic Teatato, Soul Coin
Stats:

• Body: 0
• Finesse: 1
• Mind: 3
• Affinity: 4

Spell List:

• Aura of Cheese Angels
• Blue Smut Angel Boomerang
• Bless Angel
• Summon Hats
• Engulf in Loud Salsa Angels
• Breath of Divine Gentlemen's Literature

Magical Abilities:
Can focus on any particular effect in spell research
Can choose Angel as a keyword in spell research
+1 to casting Divine or Angel spells

[The Froggy Ninja]

Get Charles to Sequel loudly.

[Xantalos]

((You should try becoming a god of yourself, if you can figure out how to do that. That or contact heaven or hell or something.))

[The Froggy Ninja]

((You should try becoming a god of yourself, if you can figure out how to do that. That or contact heaven or hell or something.))

((Me?))

[Xantalos]

((Yeah. If getting the denture god's attention doesn't work you're gonna die, after all.))

[The Froggy Ninja]

((I guess...))

[Xantalos]

((Good luck either way.))

[Parisbre56]

Nice place. A little crowded, but nice. I mean, compared to what you'd expect of hell. This is probably better than some places on Earth.
I wonder if I could start some sort of tourism business. I could definitely write an article about this. I should take some notes. Ask Clive about how I can get down here on my own if I ever want to and he's busy. Maybe he could give me some demon summoning instructions.
The train is certainly a nice touch. It reminds me of those moving side-walks they had in the 1900s. Is it like a real train? Does it have an engine or is it magical? Or maybe the cars themselves have engines that drive it forward? Not that important right now.
"Uhh... Sure. I don't think I've eaten or drank something all day. What kind of refreshments do you have down here?"
Eta took a second to think as she looked upwards, her mild claustrophobia suddenly kicking in.
"Are we actually 'down here'? I mean, are we below the surface of the Earth or is this another place entirely?"

[lawastooshort]

"Hmm. Is that any better, O Potato God?"

Try to fit my head in my vortex.

[Pancaek]

"That we did. I just have difficulty initiating things, to be honest. All sorts of questions like 'where would I begin?' and 'what should I do?' begin to bother me at inopportune moments."

"I understand. It's not like in one of those silly fantasy novels where you can just pick any directions and you'll always end up in some forgotten crypt or dragon's lair. Do you not happen to know of an unclaimed leyline or something around here?"

[Harry Baldman]

Nice place. A little crowded, but nice. I mean, compared to what you'd expect of hell. This is probably better than some places on Earth.
I wonder if I could start some sort of tourism business. I could definitely write an article about this. I should take some notes. Ask Clive about how I can get down here on my own if I ever want to and he's busy. Maybe he could give me some demon summoning instructions.
The train is certainly a nice touch. It reminds me of those moving side-walks they had in the 1900s. Is it like a real train? Does it have an engine or is it magical? Or maybe the cars themselves have engines that drive it forward? Not that important right now.
"Uhh... Sure. I don't think I've eaten or drank something all day. What kind of refreshments do you have down here?"
Eta took a second to think as she looked upwards, her mild claustrophobia suddenly kicking in.
"Are we actually 'down here'? I mean, are we below the surface of the Earth or is this another place entirely?"

Above you there is a ceiling, painted with images of shadows leading productive daily lives - it's something of a mix between socialist realism and surreal imagery, with some of the tasks being frankly unidentifiable, though possibly something to do with either manufacturing goods or farming. One image in particular jumps out at you, in the foreground of which is a shadow with green eyes sitting at a console with a myriad of buttons, seemingly working on it. In the background a series of strange robotic limbs appear to be enacting an assembly line process in an oddly semicircular fashion, forming almost a halo of assembly around the shadow, which occupies the center. The product being put together is some sort of engine, or so you would guess from all the tubes and cylinders.

"Oh yeah, we're definitely 'down here'. As for refreshments, it's mostly yeast treats and flavored water in these parts. Shame I can't take you to better places, but I haven't been invited down there in a while. Prolly an oversight, but who knows?"

As you speak, you near the kiosk, which is appropriately titled "CHEAP Yeast Treats!" From its confines a shadow with violet eyes appears to be shouting at passersby in a very insistent voice, asking them to buy from it, citing a need to feed its "five dependents".

"I understand. It's not like in one of those silly fantasy novels where you can just pick any directions and you'll always end up in some forgotten crypt or dragon's lair. Do you not happen to know of an unclaimed leyline or something around here?"

"Nah. One leyline per illuminatus as far as I'm aware, so pretty much all of them should be claimed. Reasonably safe adventure seems to be at an all time minimum with the increasing amount of no-man's-land in the city."

"What is a leyline, anyway?" Tracey asks. "Hey, Kitty, what's a leyline?" she asks of the ceiling, then looks at the two of you again. "Kitty says it's meow. Can you elaborate?"

"Access a leyline and a bit of you gets burned off and replaced with raw magic, as far as I understand."

"I see. And what good is that, anyway?"

"Makes your magic work better, plus there's a whole lot of side benefits. Can help you trim your figure a little, make you brain more effectively, that sort of thing."

"Aha! That sounds right up my alley. Where do I go?"

"Oh, I've got one of my own. But I'm not sure I should just let people have at it. I already kind of made that mistake once, and now I'm so woefully behind on my Illuminatus power level, to use a nonsensical jargon phrase."

"Can't we work something out?"

"We can! It's just a matter of proving yourself in combat against my secretary. I'll give him a ring if you think you're up for it. Should be fun to watch. What about you, John? You wanna give it a shot as well? Might not be adventure as such, but hey, could be pretty fun."

[Parisbre56]

"Oh, don't worry. Sounds like something I'd enjoy. Besides, I should probably not be full so that I'll be more concentrated for our 'adventure'. From what I understand, there will be some danger involved, right?"
Eta reached for her bag but reconsidered.
"Do I need to- I mean, what kind of currency do you use for these sort of things?" she said, making a motion towards the stand.
I really hope it's not souls or similar. I only have one. At least, I think I only have one. Maybe magic changed that.
How many souls would a yeast treat cost?

[Harry Baldman]

"Oh, don't worry. Sounds like something I'd enjoy. Besides, I should probably not be full so that I'll be more concentrated for our 'adventure'. From what I understand, there will be some danger involved, right?"
Eta reached for her bag but reconsidered.
"Do I need to- I mean, what kind of currency do you use for these sort of things?" she said, making a motion towards the stand.
I really hope it's not souls or similar. I only have one. At least, I think I only have one. Maybe magic changed that.
How many souls would a yeast treat cost?

"Oh, there's a bunch of things you could use. Barter's slowest, soul coins are quickest, I.O.U.s with signatures are cheapest from an immediate perspective and pretty quick, but can be a bit of trouble should they be cashed at a bad time. I.O.U.s are the norm around here, with the occasional savvy barter person hanging out."