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Author Topic: The Forgotten Art: Approaching the Nexus  (Read 271089 times)

Harry Baldman

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Re: The Forgotten Art: Disgust and Confusion On The Wizardly Way
« Reply #2850 on: September 16, 2014, 12:12:42 pm »

THE DUNKER knows that, for one to tunnel well underneath the earth, one needs a dedicated team of people. People who know much about the way of the canal, and are proficient with drills. Yes, he needs the aid of none other than a number of scandalous dentists! And so he attempts to emit some to help him out after utterly failing to contact something that doesn't appear to exist in any way, shape or form.

[THE DUNKER's affinity roll: 3+1]
[THE DUNKER's finesse roll: 4-1]

A single, utterly drunk dentist shoots out of his back, pressing him down into the sewage. Realizing that trouble is about to follow, THE DUNKER's ratlike instincts carry him forward just as another dentist, dressed in a pink tutu with the white, sequined symbol of a tooth embroidered on it, shoots out of his left side, increasing the cramped conditions - nevertheless, THE DUNKER slips forward still, as yet another dentist, this one garbed in a tracksuit and wearing brass knuckles, flies out frontward. And then another, a little laughing boy, shoots backward, with a slightly diagonal tendency to his flight. And finally, the dentist emission concludes when a final dentist, an old lady with a rusty case of painful-sounding old instruments, nearly traps THE DUNKER in place, though the fat man slips out forward mostly.

Good news is, he's not trapped in place. Bad news, he's not sure having these dentists here sucking up all the air is in any way an improvement.

[THE DUNKER's body roll: 6-->3-1]

Though he is rather sure he'll be okay, as long as he can get to the leyline and back in no more than three minutes. Shouldn't be hard, right? He just has to scamper like a natural C.H.U.D., and maybe also like the subterranean poopwind.

* * * * *

Larry, after bidding the nameless chick adieu, vainly texting the man who is or at least soon will be a potato, then finding way to his park bench, addresses his one true friend and companion throughout the entire two latest thirds of his life - his hand. The signed one, to be specific.

"Hey Cal, you around?"

"Yeah, dude. Where'd you go? I hear Arielle took you off to the Oldthinker's place, right?" the voice of Cal cuts in immediately, sounding a bit hungover.

* * * * *

Dave, having so much magic pent up in him he's on the verge of turning blue, tries to release the unholy power of his entire spell list once again!

[Dave's affinity roll: 4+1+2]

And with a mighty crash of raw, untold potential, words become earth, and dimensions splinter as the power of nine spells released all at once courses through Dave, his body elongating slightly as segments of it turn into undulating porcelain and grow fur and do all sorts of other suspicious, though seemingly harmless things.

Before him, the Gremlin Moon takes place, with porcelain deserts hit with outbreaks of deep black smut, hookers forming complex storm patterns as they roar across its surface hunting the joyful thylacines living out happy lives , mere thoughts taking shape as parts of it descend, lower, explode and reform, as if the very nature of the moon were highly inconstant. He can observe space itself shift around the area of the moon, occasionally attracting him, or pushing him away. Angelic gremlin choirs rise from the deepest pits of the thing before the Gremlin Kings pull them back down again, volcanoes of booze exploding out of cracks between plates of the surface porcelain flats and underwear oceans. And all of it is engulfed in what looks like pure chaos - things of all configurations appearing suddenly in the air, then disappearing.

And then, before Dave even manages to open his mouth, the entire moon elongates, then disappears.

"Hey! Wait! No fair! That looked cool!" the Denture God says, and sputters a little. Dave can't help but feel a tad disappointed, considering the sacrifices he just had to make.
« Last Edit: September 17, 2014, 07:18:24 am by Harry Baldman »
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Xantalos

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Re: The Forgotten Art: Disgust and Confusion On The Wizardly Way
« Reply #2851 on: September 16, 2014, 12:17:48 pm »

Scamper, quick! To the leyline!
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Re: The Forgotten Art: Disgust and Confusion On The Wizardly Way
« Reply #2852 on: September 16, 2014, 12:19:12 pm »

...addresses his one true friend and companion throughout the entire two latest thirds of his life - his hand.

Hur hur



"Yeah, and we had a pretty sweet time.  Buncha cool kids.  Hey, have you seen Halesey lately?  I think he's up to something stupid again."
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HMR stands for Hazardous Materials Requisition, not Horrible Massive Ruination, though I can understand how one could get confused.
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Harry Baldman

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Re: The Forgotten Art: Disgust and Confusion On The Wizardly Way
« Reply #2853 on: September 16, 2014, 12:32:56 pm »

Scamper, quick! To the leyline!

[Your body roll: 4-1]

You scamper onward, seeking the leyline - you've got a bead on it. And while you're sure you're on the verge of starting to suffocate in here, you push onward, and try to mentally grab at the leyline, hoping your mind will reach what your flesh cannot.

However, the leyline remains elusive. You can't quite get at it - you need to go deeper, deeper still. You have two obvious choices - one, turn back and consider better plans in fresher air. Two, do or die.

"Yeah, and we had a pretty sweet time.  Buncha cool kids.  Hey, have you seen Halesey lately?  I think he's up to something stupid again."

"Can't get a read on him, sorry. Not sure why, though."
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lawastooshort

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Re: The Forgotten Art: Disgust and Confusion On The Wizardly Way
« Reply #2854 on: September 16, 2014, 12:37:04 pm »

((bother: need to find a Mafioso solution and then reply to Larry at some point. Hmm.))
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Xantalos

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Re: The Forgotten Art: Disgust and Confusion On The Wizardly Way
« Reply #2855 on: September 16, 2014, 12:40:58 pm »

Though the DUNKER yearns for power, he takes the extremely generous GM choice chance to recuperate for now and turns back to more breathable parts of the sewer. Once there (assuming he makes it), he eats a donut and tries to focus on Blasts.
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The Froggy Ninja

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Re: The Forgotten Art: Disgust and Confusion On The Wizardly Way
« Reply #2856 on: September 16, 2014, 03:36:02 pm »

Focus on having a mouth again. ((What spell even caused that?))

Pancaek

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Re: The Forgotten Art: Disgust and Confusion On The Wizardly Way
« Reply #2857 on: September 16, 2014, 04:08:22 pm »

John glances towards the hole in the ground

"You know, your dude is staying away for quite a while. maybe you want to help him?"

He turns to Menkau and whispers.

"Dude, I'm starting to think this leyline is way too much trouble for what it's worth. And this broad is drunk and pretty violent. You have any other ideas as to what we could do? Cause I kind of want to skedaddle."
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lawastooshort

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Re: The Forgotten Art: Disgust and Confusion On The Wizardly Way
« Reply #2858 on: September 17, 2014, 07:37:48 am »

"Nigel! I would appreciate it if you undid this here spell of yours!"

If he can’t, I have no option but to cast Potato Vortex centred on my head until I escape.
« Last Edit: September 23, 2014, 08:11:55 am by lawastooshort »
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Harry Baldman

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Re: The Forgotten Art: Disgust and Confusion On The Wizardly Way
« Reply #2859 on: September 17, 2014, 07:41:49 am »

Focus on having a mouth again. ((What spell even caused that?))

I understand your confusion, reading that again, but it wasn't your mouth that elongated and disappeared. It was the moon. Correction made!

John glances towards the hole in the ground

"You know, your dude is staying away for quite a while. maybe you want to help him?"

"Eh, it's a risk that comes with the territory. And I'm sure as hell not going down there. I got that leyline already, see. Shauna! Raven! Go check if the fat guy's dead or something," Joanie says to her two quasi-friends.

"I... don't think I want to," Shauna says.

"Uh, I can do it, I guess," Raven replies unsurely. "Just so he doesn't, uh, you know, die."

"That's the spirit! You're twice as useful as Nigel already, and not even a quarter as ugly!"

Raven just frowns as she walks toward the manhole and begins to descend.

"Hey, Shauna, why'd I keep Nigel around again?" Joanie asks, sitting down on the ground, settling in for a wait.

"Because he was the guard?" Shauna answers, preferring to stand with her arms crossed over her chest.

"I knew there was a reason!"

Shauna just sighs and decides to follow Raven despite the initial refusal, leaving just you, Menkau, James and donut lady standing up while Joanie sits in a meditative pose. There's a bit where nobody speaks.

"So! Who wants some cocaine?"

The donut lady immediately pricks her ears up, looking at Joanie.

He turns to Menkau and whispers.

"Dude, I'm starting to think this leyline is way too much trouble for what it's worth. And this broad is drunk and pretty violent. You have any other ideas as to what we could do? Cause I kind of want to skedaddle."

"Maybe you should just go home and sleep off the buzz, show James around, maybe come back later? After you get some relevant spells? I think I'll hang with Eta a bit, then catch up with you after a while. Okay?"
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The Froggy Ninja

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Re: The Forgotten Art: Disgust and Confusion On The Wizardly Way
« Reply #2860 on: September 17, 2014, 11:05:22 am »

[color=gold,2,300][glow=black]"Well shit. I can try again later if you want but damn my head hurts."[/color]
Try and focus on getting rid of all my non pig weirdness.
« Last Edit: September 19, 2014, 09:07:06 pm by The Froggy Ninja »
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Harry Baldman

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Re: The Forgotten Art: Disgust and Confusion On The Wizardly Way
« Reply #2861 on: September 18, 2014, 03:12:08 pm »

THE DUNKER, feeling as if fate was throwing him a bone, decides to turn back. Well, not really turn back as such - more like crawl in reverse until a suitable junction is reached. Speaking of, the junction is indeed reached momentarily, whereupon it becomes apparent that it is clogged by a set of highly impatient dentists. THE DUNKER attempts to kick them out of the way, but the three dentist aggregation is stuck fast, and only curses and squeals back at him as he attempts to find the way back.

He is starting to run out of air.

* * * * *

Halesey, quite annoyed by this whole mafioso and potato business, decides to call for Nigel's help.

"Nigel! I would appreciate it if you undid this here spell of yours!"

Nigel, however, does not reply, and indeed does not seem to be around anymore. Halesey realizes that there is but one thing to do, and that is to make a vortex. Rather, many vortexes. As many as he can, on top of his own face. Why, yes. That seems acceptable.

[Halesey's affinity roll: 1-->6+1]

However, the inability to move hampers him, and does so quite terribly - he can't do the potato dance, most unfortunately! How can he do the potato when he can't do the potato? With that in mind, he considers his alternatives. He could just not do the potato, though that seems blasphemous, and is rejected out of hand as a consequence. Perhaps consider a less active form of the potato, as strange as it may seem to contain his fervor? No!

Instead, he shall wiggle furiously against his restraints like any good prophet, and viciously believe that he is doing the potato. That, and only that, he thinks, can possibly be an acceptable substitute. And so, after a long period of silence followed by preparatory humming and shivering, he begins!

[Halesey's affinity roll: 5+1+3]

And his head spontaneously becomes a potato vortex most incredibly massive, more radiant in its reality than any the mafioso before him has ever has the ability to observe! The potatoes blow forth, and wash over the mafioso like a tidal wave!

[Mafioso's body roll: 4-1]

"Ah, goddamn it, that hurts!" the mafioso yells as the potatoes rush over him, pushing him into the boundaries of his tubery cage, the restraints digging into his flesh. Halesey feels that whatever he is doing, it's probably working. Best to intensify it!

[Halesey's affinity roll: 4+1]

The vortex grows larger still, pushing the mafioso even further back as Halesey's mind is fully committed to the vortex process. He groans rather loudly as the flow of air pushes him.

[Halesey's affinity roll: 3+1]

The vortex is now twice as large as Halesey himself, completely engulfing his body - there's just a thin outline of skin, hair and clothing around it to indicate that anything human was even there to begin with. Halesey feels the potato encroaching on him.

[Halesey's mind roll: 6-->1+1]

But he doesn't really mind, he guesses. In most ways, he would say he is the potato already, and most of the wishes of the vortex coincide with his wishes. This is heartening, he supposes!

[Mafioso's body roll: 3-1]

The mafioso, meanwhile, is starting to get bloodily pushed through the immobile potatoes as if they were a strainer of some sort. It looks and sounds very painful.

[Halesey's affinity roll: 3+1+1]

Halesey grows larger still, and larger still - a mere halo of flesh around a most wonderful vortex, he realizes. How wonderful it is to be a hole in reality, a gateway to the One True God. His eyes, dislocated to near-opposite sides of the vortex, look in opposing directions as he attempts to get his bearings.

[Halesey's affinity roll: 3+1+1]

The flesh around the edges grows thinner until a point where it may very well not be there at all. There are only his eyes that remain still roughly unchanged. He tries to sing from happiness, but only potatoes come out, which is something he is probably okay with.

Despite all this, though, he can't seem to move at all. In fact, he can move even less than he could before, which is strange. Halesey briefly entertains a thought that maybe this is a problem a potato vortex cannot solve, but then realizes that he is a potato vortex and that to think negatively of his abilities at this juncture would help no one.

The mafioso, though, seems pretty dead and gone right now, which Halesey's cool with.

* * * * *

Dave is, indeed, very disappointed at this turn of events. Surely he can do better.

"Well, shit. I can try again later if you want, but damn, my head hurts."

"I'd really like you to try again, since it does kind of suck how that happened. But take it easy, dude. You're my main man, after all. Can't mistreat my main man."

With this reassurance, Dave focuses on willing away all of his abnormalities. He already has no pants and a pig for a leg. He can't afford to be more freakish! He focuses on himself, and the abnormalities begin to recede, though they do not immediately disappear. Across the next few minutes, he looks exponentially more normal! Insofar as he can appear normal, anyway.

* * * * *

Outside the manhole, the body of Menkau stirs a moment, and out steps Eta, looking a little confused as well as dressed entirely differently than before. And, as she realizes as she steps out on the street, very much barefoot. She looks around, and finds that there are less people around, and most of them are looking at her with varying degrees of curiosity and interest. Ivette's here, as is John, James and Joanie. And Menkau, naturally.

Joanie is particularly interesting, as she seems to be doing something highly unusual. Eta's not quite sure how to characterize it. It looks a bit like reverse drug use, with a steady stream of white powder coming out of her nostrils, filling up the ground around her. She seems to have her eyes closed, and is concentrating. Ivette seems indecisive on whether to look at Eta or Joanie, sparing both some rather shocked glances. Within moments, Joanie seems to forming a small mound of what is probably cocaine all around herself.

"Hm, so, now that that's done, what now?" Menkau wonders aloud.
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Toaster

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Re: The Forgotten Art: Disgust and Confusion On The Wizardly Way
« Reply #2862 on: September 18, 2014, 03:21:58 pm »

((How'd I miss a reply here))

Larry grunted. "What do you know about outsiders?"
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HMR stands for Hazardous Materials Requisition, not Horrible Massive Ruination, though I can understand how one could get confused.
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Xantalos

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Re: The Forgotten Art: Disgust and Confusion On The Wizardly Way
« Reply #2863 on: September 18, 2014, 04:03:57 pm »

Try using Coffee Mug Blasts - emitted out of the seat of my pants if possible, if not just point backwards best I can - to clear the dentists from my path! If that don't work, use Pillar of Inexplicable Rouge Bats, if I can use it to punch a hole through to the surface or something.

((Welp, I might die here. Ah well, luck always was extremely polar with me.))
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Re: The Forgotten Art: Disgust and Confusion On The Wizardly Way
« Reply #2864 on: September 18, 2014, 04:31:58 pm »

((And Yea, the cursed Xantalos Dice arise))
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