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Author Topic: The Forgotten Art: Approaching the Nexus  (Read 271141 times)

lawastooshort

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Re: The Forgotten Art: Disgust and Confusion On The Wizardly Way
« Reply #2580 on: August 13, 2014, 01:11:02 pm »

((can't believe you dropped the eldritch cocaine dude))
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Toaster

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Re: The Forgotten Art: Disgust and Confusion On The Wizardly Way
« Reply #2581 on: August 13, 2014, 01:21:18 pm »

((It gave Larry nothing but trouble.  Maybe if it was Summon instead of Storm of...

Plus, salsa angels.))
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HMR stands for Hazardous Materials Requisition, not Horrible Massive Ruination, though I can understand how one could get confused.
God help us if we have to agree on pizza toppings at some point. There will be no survivors.

Harry Baldman

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Re: The Forgotten Art: Disgust and Confusion On The Wizardly Way
« Reply #2582 on: August 13, 2014, 01:34:06 pm »

Aaaahhh! That wasn't supposed to happen! Skeletons shouldn't move like that! Skeletons shouldn't move at all!

"Ah! Eeeh... Excuse me! Please don't kill me? I just want to get out of here! Please?"

Run away! Get out of here! If the skeletons hurt me, cast Pitiful Underwear Vortex under them.

[Your body roll: 2-1]

The walls of the pit are very smooth - you're not sure how you'd get up them, to be honest. Fortunately, the skeletons don't seem very hostile to you. Mostly they're just confused, it seems like. And quite blue. And despite this seeming like a good idea at first, you realize that any vortex you would conjure underneath the skeletons, if you know how vortexes work, and you believe you do, would also by necessity affect you, since you are atop the skeletons.

"James, I need you to go outside. If you hear any sound that seems like I'm in trouble, I want you to run and get those police officers, tell them there's a murderer in here or something." John says as he puts his hand on his snub nosed revolver in his pocket and turns back to the cow "You. What the fuck are you doing in my house. It hasn't even been a week, what the hell could I have done to earn you coming to torment me even more."

James does as directed, though he seems confused. As he leaves, the cowman looks at you.

"Well, John, there's been some trouble. Terrible, terrible trouble. You might remember Trey and Luz. They don't exist anymore. And Mr. Lee and Mrs. Lee. They don't exist anymore, either. So you're my only friend now, John, you're my only friend! And if there is one thing I need, it's friends! Friends help me think right, you see."

"No, wait. I don't recognise you with all the hairy pinkness going on. Who are you?"

[Toby's affinity roll: 6-->3+1]
[Toby's finesse roll: 5]

A man suddenly shoots out of the unfamiliar man's palm, wrapping himself around you as he collides into your body, sending you flying to the ground.

"I thought this would be a good day. How quick the day was in proving me wrong," the new man sighs.

"How about now?" the hairy pink elemental dude asks.

Larry reeled as the angelic spell knowledge flooded his brain.  He grabbed what he could out of the tide of knowledge before he got snapped back to reality.  He blinked a couple time at the Oldthinker.  Did he know any?  What's an outsider again?

"Uhhh... maybe?  Cal saved me from a hairy mafia bean, does that count?  Some guy made of birds gave me a soul coin.  The magic binder's got a voice too?"

"Thorta like the magic binder, but with a body. Not of thith univerthe. I kind of want to talk to one, thee what they've got to thay about all thith."
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Pancaek

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Re: The Forgotten Art: Disgust and Confusion On The Wizardly Way
« Reply #2583 on: August 13, 2014, 01:38:53 pm »

"Define not existing. Do you mean they're dead? Also, you torturing Trey and Luz most certainly doesn't make us friends. And how the hell did you get in here anyway, I'm pretty sure I locked the door on my way out."
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Harry Baldman

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Re: The Forgotten Art: Disgust and Confusion On The Wizardly Way
« Reply #2584 on: August 13, 2014, 01:47:40 pm »

"Define not existing. Do you mean they're dead? Also, you torturing Trey and Luz most certainly doesn't make us friends. And how the hell did you get in here anyway, I'm pretty sure I locked the door on my way out."

"Silly John, doors mean nothing to me. Or guns, for that matter, and physical harm in general. As for the whole "not existing" thing, yes, Mr. and Mrs. Lee are dead. Trey and Luz killed them. I got on the scene a bit too late to help, and I got into a little bit of a dark place there, but I did come up with a pretty cool punishment for the two little munchkins, and not a cruel or disgusting one, either! I can tell you all about it if you want to know! It was a stroke of genius, I think!"

The cowman seems like he'd really love to tell you all about it.
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Pancaek

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Re: The Forgotten Art: Disgust and Confusion On The Wizardly Way
« Reply #2585 on: August 13, 2014, 01:49:53 pm »

"Yeah, sure. Tell me about it, but give me the super fucking short version, if you'd please. And after that, you can tell me what the hell you want with me."

John takes his hand off of his revolver and crosses his arms in front of him
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Toaster

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Re: The Forgotten Art: Disgust and Confusion On The Wizardly Way
« Reply #2586 on: August 13, 2014, 01:52:41 pm »

Larry squints, then shrugs.  "'Fraid not.  Maybe Halesey has; he's gone his own way, and is getting mixed up with potatoes and all that.  What's one like, anyway?"
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HMR stands for Hazardous Materials Requisition, not Horrible Massive Ruination, though I can understand how one could get confused.
God help us if we have to agree on pizza toppings at some point. There will be no survivors.

lawastooshort

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Re: The Forgotten Art: Disgust and Confusion On The Wizardly Way
« Reply #2587 on: August 13, 2014, 02:09:26 pm »

"Nah, doesn't ring a bell. Wanna become a follower of the potato god?"
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Parisbre56

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Re: The Forgotten Art: Disgust and Confusion On The Wizardly Way
« Reply #2588 on: August 13, 2014, 02:18:47 pm »

((I was going to try sponge form against the skeletons, but I think I should do this a bit more quickly so that I don't leave Xan waiting. So...))

Eta crawled into a ball and put her hands over her head.
Oh God, I'm trapped. Any moment now they are going to notice me and they are going to kill me. Or trample me. This is all my fault. I need to be better at magic. I need to put magic in me. I need power. I need the leyline.

Try to put magic in me. Focus on replacing part of me with magic, like Joan said.

Xantalos

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Re: The Forgotten Art: Disgust and Confusion On The Wizardly Way
« Reply #2589 on: August 13, 2014, 02:28:52 pm »

((Don't worry, I put that proviso in there for a reason.))
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Sig! Onol
Quote from: BFEL
XANTALOS, THE KARATEBOMINATION
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((The Xantalos Die: [1, 1, 1, 6, 6, 6]))

Harry Baldman

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Re: The Forgotten Art: Disgust and Confusion On The Wizardly Way
« Reply #2590 on: August 13, 2014, 02:36:20 pm »

"Yeah, sure. Tell me about it, but give me the super fucking short version, if you'd please. And after that, you can tell me what the hell you want with me."

John takes his hand off of his revolver and crosses his arms in front of him

"Okay! Super fucking short version it is! I made Luz into an old man, made Trey into an old woman. Took out all of their memories, and I do mean all of their memories, completely obliterated their original identities, put them in the same retirement home in Retiree Row as an identical replacement for two actual old people I made into young, virile teenagers and displaced elsewhere to free up space! And I also made the two lovebirds hate each other for reasons they don't know. Once you get a bit of experience, molding minds is a pretty easy thing to do, after all! The nursing staff think they're demented and strange, and they're never going to know any better until the day they die. They might even get visited by relatives they won't recognize, though I wouldn't count on it. It was a pretty awful retirement home. Anyway, cool, huh? Permanent solution, no need for additional effort on my part, unlike eternal torture!" the cowman quickly explains with a disturbing bovine grin.

"And as for what I want from you, well, like I said, you know? You're the only friend I've got left. I'm having terrible luck with friends for some reason."

Larry squints, then shrugs.  "'Fraid not.  Maybe Halesey has; he's gone his own way, and is getting mixed up with potatoes and all that.  What's one like, anyway?"

"Eathietht way to put it ith, angelth have powerth of movement, demonth have powerth of command, elementalth have powerth over an element, while outthiderth have powerth of univerthal change. They're like worldth in and of themthelveth, and they're more powerful than pretty much anything around here. Outer godth would be another word for them. They're rarer becauthe it'th more difficult for them to reach thith far into reality. They're what giveth you magic, I think, and tho the betht thing to do to know more about thith would be to athk one about what'th happening. Bring one over here, actually. Would probably make for an amathing party."

"Nah, doesn't ring a bell. Wanna become a follower of the potato god?"

"No. Fuck you, and especially fuck your goddamn potatoes. I don't want to see either you or a fucking potato again in my entire life. So sayonara, asshole," he says, gives you a bras d'honneurs and shifts into a spearlike form, flying through and breaking the window of the cafe, landing out on the street, then heading off at a brisk, shifting pace, leaving you in the arms of a depressing gentleman.

"Abandoned by my creator as soon as I am born. It is almost typical, really."

((I was going to try sponge form against the skeletons, but I think I should do this a bit more quickly so that I don't leave Xan waiting. So...))

Eta crawled into a ball and put her hands over her head.
Oh God, I'm trapped. Any moment now they are going to notice me and they are going to kill me. Or trample me. This is all my fault. I need to be better at magic. I need to put magic in me. I need power. I need the leyline.

Try to put magic in me. Focus on replacing part of me with magic, like Joan said.

You would, but you don't feel any kind of magic, you think. No magic at all. If there's a leyline here, it is almost certainly beyond your ability to perceive in a meaningful way. You begin to despair, but you do hear a voice from above suddenly.

"Hahahah!" the voice laughs a bit derisively, and even though you look up, it's sufficiently far away that you can't really see it too well, though you do perceive the smoke coming off its shape. "Did you just fall into your own pit? Fucking amazing!"
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Toaster

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Re: The Forgotten Art: Disgust and Confusion On The Wizardly Way
« Reply #2591 on: August 13, 2014, 02:40:19 pm »

"So... just stick my head back in the binder and ask it to come chill with us?"
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HMR stands for Hazardous Materials Requisition, not Horrible Massive Ruination, though I can understand how one could get confused.
God help us if we have to agree on pizza toppings at some point. There will be no survivors.

Pancaek

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Re: The Forgotten Art: Disgust and Confusion On The Wizardly Way
« Reply #2592 on: August 13, 2014, 02:46:07 pm »

"Yeah, good on you, sentencing two kids to a fate worse than death." he says, walking towards his liquor cabinet and pulling out the first bottle he sees. "Now get the hell out of my house. I already made a promise to look after someone, and I've got no time to look after some eldritch cow creature as well. I'm sure you'll make more friends elsewhere. Don't let the door hit you on the way out" he says in a cold tone, looking the cow in the eyes and taking a swig of the bottle
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Harry Baldman

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Re: The Forgotten Art: Disgust and Confusion On The Wizardly Way
« Reply #2593 on: August 13, 2014, 02:55:32 pm »

"So... just stick my head back in the binder and ask it to come chill with us?"

"The binder ith... different. I think we want thomething that already walkth the earth, tho to thpeak. Tho the binder prolly wouldn't work. It might help point you to thomebody who might work, though."

"Yeah, good on you, sentencing two kids to a fate worse than death." he says, walking towards his liquor cabinet and pulling out the first bottle he sees. "Now get the hell out of my house. I already made a promise to look after someone, and I've got no time to look after some eldritch cow creature as well. I'm sure you'll make more friends elsewhere. Don't let the door hit you on the way out" he says in a cold tone, looking the cow in the eyes and taking a swig of the bottle

"Oh, come on, John, I can point you to a leyline if you'll be my friend! Unguarded, unknown by anyone but the Lees, and they're dead now! Come on, please. I need a friend, or I'll get strange! And I don't like it when I get strange! Please!"
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Pancaek

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Re: The Forgotten Art: Disgust and Confusion On The Wizardly Way
« Reply #2594 on: August 13, 2014, 03:01:03 pm »

John takes a long swig from the bottle, then looks at the cow again.

"How do I know you won't just hulk out on me and torture me and James? How can I trust you that this isn't some elaborate trap? And how, in fact, does being my friend stop you from going strange?"
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