"Yeah, sure. Tell me about it, but give me the super fucking short version, if you'd please. And after that, you can tell me what the hell you want with me."
John takes his hand off of his revolver and crosses his arms in front of him
"Okay! Super fucking short version it is! I made Luz into an old man, made Trey into an old woman. Took out all of their memories, and I do mean all of their memories, completely obliterated their original identities, put them in the same retirement home in Retiree Row as an identical replacement for two actual old people I made into young, virile teenagers and displaced elsewhere to free up space! And I also made the two lovebirds hate each other for reasons they don't know. Once you get a bit of experience, molding minds is a pretty easy thing to do, after all! The nursing staff think they're demented and strange, and they're never going to know any better until the day they die. They might even get visited by relatives they won't recognize, though I wouldn't count on it. It was a pretty awful retirement home. Anyway, cool, huh? Permanent solution, no need for additional effort on my part, unlike eternal torture!" the cowman quickly explains with a disturbing bovine grin.
"And as for what I want from you, well, like I said, you know? You're the only friend I've got left. I'm having terrible luck with friends for some reason."Larry squints, then shrugs. "'Fraid not. Maybe Halesey has; he's gone his own way, and is getting mixed up with potatoes and all that. What's one like, anyway?"
"Eathietht way to put it ith, angelth have powerth of movement, demonth have powerth of command, elementalth have powerth over an element, while outthiderth have powerth of univerthal change. They're like worldth in and of themthelveth, and they're more powerful than pretty much anything around here. Outer godth would be another word for them. They're rarer becauthe it'th more difficult for them to reach thith far into reality. They're what giveth you magic, I think, and tho the betht thing to do to know more about thith would be to athk one about what'th happening. Bring one over here, actually. Would probably make for an amathing party.""Nah, doesn't ring a bell. Wanna become a follower of the potato god?"
"No. Fuck you, and especially fuck your goddamn potatoes. I don't want to see either you or a fucking potato again in my entire life. So sayonara, asshole," he says, gives you a bras d'honneurs and shifts into a spearlike form, flying through and breaking the window of the cafe, landing out on the street, then heading off at a brisk, shifting pace, leaving you in the arms of a depressing gentleman.
"Abandoned by my creator as soon as I am born. It is almost typical, really."((I was going to try sponge form against the skeletons, but I think I should do this a bit more quickly so that I don't leave Xan waiting. So...))
Eta crawled into a ball and put her hands over her head.
Oh God, I'm trapped. Any moment now they are going to notice me and they are going to kill me. Or trample me. This is all my fault. I need to be better at magic. I need to put magic in me. I need power. I need the leyline.
Try to put magic in me. Focus on replacing part of me with magic, like Joan said.
You would, but you don't feel any kind of magic, you think. No magic at all. If there's a leyline here, it is almost certainly beyond your ability to perceive in a meaningful way. You begin to despair, but you do hear a voice from above suddenly.
"Hahahah!" the voice laughs a bit derisively, and even though you look up, it's sufficiently far away that you can't really see it too well, though you do perceive the smoke coming off its shape.
"Did you just fall into your own pit? Fucking amazing!"