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Author Topic: The Forgotten Art: Approaching the Nexus  (Read 267883 times)

Harry Baldman

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Re: The Forgotten Art: Disgust and Confusion On The Wizardly Way
« Reply #2265 on: July 12, 2014, 02:19:38 pm »

((crikey, I'm going to have to think hard about this))

"Before I choose, O Great Potato,  do You mind if I ask you a couple of questions?"

"You may do so."

"Firstly, how can I progress further along the Path of the Potato? And secondly - and please, do not imagine my faith wavers, for my faith is unshakeable - secondly, what is at the end of the Path of the Potato? Is there an end? I would be happy to serve the Potato for an age, but still, I am trapped with my mortal body, and am buffered and blown by its wants and needs from time to time, when I am not encompassed by Potato. For example, I am sure that the best thing I could ask, as a favour from You, is something that would aid my progress along the Potatoey Path; yet itches at the back of my mind whisper at me: 'Halesey! Ask for money! Ask for control of that leyline! Ask for a date with Dana the pink lady!' I hold these voices at bay, yet I am not far enough along the Potatoey Path to be entirely deaf to them. Can you advise me, or should I instead seek out another Prophet of the Potato for guidance? It is hard to know what to do, in these changing times: what, that is, apart from throw oneself wholeheartedly into the service of a just and powerful God. Do you ask anything else of me?"

Halesey wasn't expecting so much to come out, and he worried that the Potato God wasn't quite the type to which one should speak thus, so personally, but he figured it worth a try. Now that, after over two decades of existence, he had found his destiny, he truly wanted to fulfill it. He wanted to serve the Potato.

He just wasn't sure how, or where it would lead him.

"Ah. Your questions are many, and the answers to them are also the answers to many of the mysteries of the Path, to elevate you as the first prophet of my glory, and not a mere priest. So let it be put thus - what you ask of me is the favor of revelation, quite possibly the most valuable favor of all. Seven secrets of the Path and of the universe can be yours if you choose this favor, if you choose to bask fully in the knowledge of God and perhaps to know the path ahead to its full extent - to reveal the Path fully is to banish doubt, and it is to rob you of your worthiest foe, a favor like no other. But the question is not of whether I can grant it, for my power to do so is ideal and without flaw. But is this the favor you seek most, acolyte?"
« Last Edit: July 12, 2014, 02:23:32 pm by Harry Baldman »
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lawastooshort

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Re: The Forgotten Art: Disgust and Confusion On The Wizardly Way
« Reply #2266 on: July 12, 2014, 03:37:51 pm »

"O Potato Lord, yes, I seek the favour of revelation!"

Halesey wanted to add the word crikey in there somewhere, but felt deep within him that it would be inappropriate, although better than any stronger language. He also held his mind strong against the temptation to say, goodness! no! what I want most is Lana, the lovely pink lady! But hold strong he did, for this was surely worth even more, however much time and distance increased her beauty.
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Harry Baldman

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Re: The Forgotten Art: Disgust and Confusion On The Wizardly Way
« Reply #2267 on: July 12, 2014, 03:45:05 pm »

"O Potato Lord, yes, I seek the favour of revelation!"

Halesey wanted to add the word crikey in there somewhere, but felt deep within him that it would be inappropriate, although better than any stronger language. He also held his mind strong against the temptation to say, goodness! no! what I want most is Lana, the lovely pink lady! But hold strong he did, for this was surely worth even more, however much time and distance increased her beauty.

"Very well. What seven great definite answers do you seek, acolyte?"
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lawastooshort

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Re: The Forgotten Art: Disgust and Confusion On The Wizardly Way
« Reply #2268 on: July 12, 2014, 03:56:26 pm »

((er I'll have to sleep on that))
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Harry Baldman

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Re: The Forgotten Art: Disgust and Confusion On The Wizardly Way
« Reply #2269 on: July 14, 2014, 04:26:11 am »

Distressed by his sudden malady, Dave tries to somehow make it stop! Man was not meant by God to launch marsupials out of his hindquarters, and Dave has gravely erred in attempting to tread this forbidden ground! As he runs around and shrieks, he tries to think happy thoughts and close the rift in reality that seems to be the root of his problem.

He tries using his hands first and foremost. That doesn't work, to put it mildly. So he tries the power of the mind next, and that seems to work... partially! The rift decreases in size, and the thylacines seem to be having a harder time getting out! This renders it simultaneously more painful and more awkward to look at, but Dave still keeps up his optimism. Surely he can fix this with a promising beginning such as that!

* * * * *

Larry's not much of a natural dancer, but he's no unnatural philosopher, either, so a dance sounds pretty good to him.

"Sure, let's dance," he says, taking the hand of the angelic stripper, and she pulls him toward herself.

"I'll lead," she says, and the two of them step away from the company of angels and contemplatives and, at the same time, away in a different sense, not merely in the classically spatial one, but rather in the mind-bending tesseract sort of way. And now, around them is only darkness in every direction.

"A perfect stage, no?" the angel asks while Larry stares dumbly at the flat, empty nothing all around. It unsettles him greatly for some reason, possibly because he's pretty sure after a few moments that it is not, in fact, as much a big flat nothing as it seems. That is to say, he can see something moving. Something massive. And also peculiarly interested in him. But before he can fully appreciate this information, the angel begins the dance.

[Larry's finesse roll: 2]

But Larry, quite unsettled as it is, can't really get into it much - it's some kind of elaborate space tango or whatever that she seems to be leading him in, and the best he can manage on his shaky, unsupported feet is more of a drunken pub waltz, much to the disappointment of his angelic dance partner.

"Not quite in the mood, are we?" she observes, and Larry senses just a bit of disappointment tinged with lack of surprise in her voice.

* * * * *

John, knowing that the mysteries of this crazy world reveal themselves only to the inquisitive, has a thought.

"Well, James, it would seem our way is blocked by a very large, wet-ish purple mass. As we both know, the only way to logically proceed is to poke it. It's only scientific, really," he says, and moves closer.

"Uh..." James intones uncertainly, but before he can raise more protest, John has already pushed himself toward the thing drunkenly, though he most certainly has made a mistake in his elaborate calculations, forcing himself hand-first toward the mass, plunging it as well as his arm into it up to the elbow - he is displeased to find it shockingly abrasive, and also quite painful! And wet. Very, very wet.

He quickly pulls his hand out, falling backwards with a fistful of whatever thing this mass is. And as he observes what he has done, he becomes aware that he seems to have produced a sizable hole in whatever that thing is. It looks to be hollow on the inside!
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The Froggy Ninja

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Re: The Forgotten Art: Disgust and Confusion On The Wizardly Way
« Reply #2270 on: July 14, 2014, 07:28:57 am »

Focus my mind. On stopping the but portal.

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Re: The Forgotten Art: Disgust and Confusion On The Wizardly Way
« Reply #2271 on: July 14, 2014, 08:21:26 am »

"Well, uh, no.  All this magic doesn't leave much time for dancing practice, am I right?"
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HMR stands for Hazardous Materials Requisition, not Horrible Massive Ruination, though I can understand how one could get confused.
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Pancaek

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Re: The Forgotten Art: Disgust and Confusion On The Wizardly Way
« Reply #2272 on: July 14, 2014, 02:00:14 pm »

"Good news, James! This thing seems to be hollow. Probably we can just make ourselves a hole one either side and go through. The stuff is rather painful, though, so we may want to use something other than our bare hands. Do you see anything we could use to make holes faster?" says John, Waving his arm to shake off the goop
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Parisbre56

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Re: The Forgotten Art: Disgust and Confusion On The Wizardly Way
« Reply #2273 on: July 14, 2014, 07:40:24 pm »

"Ugh. I'd expect magic to smell better. Looks like something out of one of those awful movies full of violence."
Eta hoped those were magical bones or some sort of corruptive effect from the leyline altering its surroundings and not actual bones from a living thing.
Those people might not be very friendly, judging by the looks of this place. I better take it slowly. That grey thing on the other hand looks more like an animal. It will hopefully ignore me as I approach or at least give me a warning if it doesn't agree with my presence. So only thing left to do is look around and find out what exactly I should do here.

I guess I could try out those flies, they could be good scouts. But unleashing intelligent flies upon the world sounds like a bad idea. What if they can procreate and make more flies? With their intelligence and their numbers they could end up ruling the world. No, that would be irresponsible. Can't have another incident like the one with the thylacines.


"I'm going to take a closer look, see if there's anything worth our time around here." Eta said to Lois. "You can stay back if you want, no reason to risk both our lives."

Await Lois's answer. If she wishes to follow, then go inspect those red pillar things. Make sure to keep my distance from the grey thing and try to not be visible from the people in the roof if possible.

Else, if she wishes to stay back, I will provide additional actions and dialogue.


Spoiler: Eta (click to show/hide)

Harry Baldman

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Re: The Forgotten Art: Disgust and Confusion On The Wizardly Way
« Reply #2274 on: July 15, 2014, 07:06:27 am »

"Well, uh, no.  All this magic doesn't leave much time for dancing practice, am I right?"

"It's not so much a matter of practice as it is a mental thing," the angel says softly. "Physics is taking a vacation right now, after all. Put your mind into it more."

She looks around.

"Though maybe we need a change of scenery as well. Someplace more fun, maybe? Otherwise this might get awfully intimate."

"Good news, James! This thing seems to be hollow. Probably we can just make ourselves a hole one either side and go through. The stuff is rather painful, though, so we may want to use something other than our bare hands. Do you see anything we could use to make holes faster?" says John, Waving his arm to shake off the goop

"Uh... no. Maybe a bench? I think I saw one further back."
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Pancaek

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Re: The Forgotten Art: Disgust and Confusion On The Wizardly Way
« Reply #2275 on: July 15, 2014, 09:02:01 am »

"excellent, good thinkin James! We shall use the bench as a battering ram and break through this slab of something that impedes our progress. This is just the kind of thing Trey would have proposed!"

Go and get the becnh together with James, use it as a battering ram to get through the cube of slime
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Re: The Forgotten Art: Disgust and Confusion On The Wizardly Way
« Reply #2276 on: July 15, 2014, 10:07:30 am »

Larry shrugged.  "Nothing in every direction is personal and all, but it doesn't really say dance floor to me.  Maybe something more light and colorful?"
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HMR stands for Hazardous Materials Requisition, not Horrible Massive Ruination, though I can understand how one could get confused.
God help us if we have to agree on pizza toppings at some point. There will be no survivors.

Harry Baldman

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Re: The Forgotten Art: Disgust and Confusion On The Wizardly Way
« Reply #2277 on: July 16, 2014, 03:50:01 am »

Dave suddenly recalls something he just learned people should do when in times of doubt and danger - focus! That ought to help, right? It's worked reasonably well so far, after all. And so he orders his thoughts, sets up a systematic approach of willing and wishing as well as short breaks of pleading and groveling to test the waters, so to speak, and with this plan in mind, sets about stopping his abominable butt portal!

When the chaotic magical phenomenon meets Dave's planned approach, it recoils in horror! It tries to spin away, but alas, Dave's hindquarters prove too effective an anchor! And so it can only try to weather the onslaught, which, as Dave ascertains momentarily, is quite a tall order for something that can't rightly think or do anything other than shoot thylacines out of someone else's bottom. The rift, cowed by the coordinated effort of will, immediately closes and solemnly promises not to bother Dave again. Dave, awash with newfound bossitude, raises his arms to the air triumphantly.

* * * * *

Eta, displeased greatly about both the sight and smell of this place, nevertheless soldiers on. It's probably not real, she assures herself. Leyline corruption of reality. Yes, that sounds like a thing. It's probably that. Indeed.

"Ugh. I'd expect magic to smell better. Looks like something out of one of those awful movies full of violence."

"I'm kind of glad I've never seen any of those," Lois says, her eyes resting on the hairy viscera-eating thing. "I mean, seriously, ugh."

"I'm going to take a closer look, see if there's anything worth our time around here." Eta says after thinking on how best to approach this against her better judgement. "You can stay back if you want, no reason to risk both our lives."

"No, no. I'm okay, sort of. Where you go, I go," Lois says, beginning to breathe through her mouth from the looks of it. Eta nods and they both move, stepping carefully around the gore and especially keeping their distance from the carrion eater as they get closer to the reddish pillars - there appear to be two of them in total, spaced close together, placed right up to the side of the building. Close examination reveals that they seem to be made of some softish, creamy material of a variety of colors, mostly shades of red, pink and purple, though red dominates. The lower pillar is 4 meters or so in height, and the other one is about 3 and a half higher. And only about two meters up from there is the edge of the roof.

"These look kind of like that pillar you made," Lois observes curiously. "Except less dangerous, I guess. I wonder if we can climb it?"

* * * * *

Impressed by James' constructive (well, destructive) comments, John immediately forms a plan.

"Excellent, good thinkin', James! We shall use the bench as a battering ram and break through this slab of something that impedes our progress. This is just the kind of thing Trey would have proposed!"

"Huh? Who?"

But John doesn't answer, as siege warfare takes priority. With the aid of James, he quickly finds the bench in question - it is made of metal, with a delightfully uncomfortable upholstered seat. The archetypical piece of hospital furniture, really. And also presumably great for use as a battering ram! John tries to pick it up, but only manages to lose his footing and stretch out across it instead, at which point it occurs to him that maybe he needs a nap more than he needs to explore. He yawns contently, and his eyelids begin to grow heavy.

"Uh... what are you doing?"

* * * * *

Larry, encouraged by the angel, provides his own critique of the monstrous void.

"Nothing in every direction is personal and all, but it doesn't really say dance floor to me.  Maybe something more light and colorful?"

"Indeed. I'm glad we're on the same page here!" she agrees, and the void suddenly gives way to something else entirely - the inside of a massive platinum dome, the ceiling engraved with a short history of life (that is to say, three quarters of the engravings look like elaborate lithographs of bacteria of many varieties in various combinations, and everything else, from vertebrates to primordially mysterious things Larry can only begin to guess at the nature of, occupy the rest). The entire place is bathed in a bright light, and the gleaming bits all along the ceiling remind him of diamonds, but somehow even shinier. He is about to whistle approvingly, but then he looks around the rest of the room.

Creatures are all around him, each more hideously strange than the last - black, inky, solid shadows, all too familiar to the wizard from previous engagements, with eyes of red, yellow and orange form most of them, but one can see other things as well - a hulking, garishly colored spider creature, a man in a suit who must be at least four meters tall, a whole host of creatures with cabbages for heads, and many other things oddly related to various everyday objects. And in the midst of them there is a clearing, in which Larry and the angel stand, and that also hosts something else - a metal ziggurat, atop which a throne of gold rests. In it sits a figure of infinite red, vile arms stretching out in every direction, a glowing golden tetrahedron with a beastly eye on each side rotating wildly in the center, providing a peculiar halo.

It's all a bit much to take in, and Larry is about to say something, but then the angel snaps her fingers, and music starts playing over the room, a peculiar song that resonates deeply within Larry, and also seemingly within the rest of the creatures around - the shades begin dancing first, followed by the larger creatures. And even the figure in the center starts swaying rhythmically, emanating intense displeasure as it does so. And finally, Larry himself begins to dance as well. And though he's not much of a natural dancer, the music moves him to a degree music never really has, and, taking the angel by the other hand as well, he begins to spin in a wild dance, his very own interpretation of the jitterbug.

Things, needless to say, are getting a bit out of control on the dance floor - everyone seems to be cavorting wildly, most conventional forms of restraint dropped in favor of uninhibited displays of rhythm and choreography. Well, everyone except the central figure, who only appears to be vibrating menacingly, the air in the room becoming thick in its vicinity. Larry and his dance partner dive into the mass of assembled creatures, and they artfully give way, and the two spin and dance their way twice along the entire edge of the dome, getting a good look at the chaos within, a sight that makes the angel laugh more than a little manically. The shades begin to take flight, filling the air above with dancing shapes and hugging the engravings with their inky shapes, flowing through them like water, leaving dark marks on the ceiling as they pass. One particular set of shades begin to engrave vague notation on the ceiling as the creative spirit takes them.

Eventually, though, after a period that feels like a minute, but that was probably much longer, the music stops, and the room becomes still, only the low, but rising roar of the central figure still audible in the room. As its arms suddenly extend, moving to strike at the two disruptive arrivals, the angel quickly bows, and then takes Larry with her as she disappears back into the aether, leaving but a host of very confused demonic entities in her wake.

The two reappear back in the Seventh Heaven, Saturn, at a respectable distance from their original position, where the others appear to have settled in a nice bit of conversation. Larry's companion sighs contently.

"Well, that was fun, wasn't it?" she says.
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Parisbre56

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Re: The Forgotten Art: Disgust and Confusion On The Wizardly Way
« Reply #2278 on: July 16, 2014, 05:59:27 am »

[Restraint:6]
Hmmm... I'm tempted to make a pillar of my own... But no, it's too dangerous. Only as a last resort.

"I suppose we could try climbing... Better than trying to get through that creature. It might have some friends in there."

That still leaves the people up on the roof, but they'll hopefully be willing to talk before doing anything rash.

Is there any wooden plank or similar long thing around? Or perhaps some conveniently available rope or wire or similar? If yes take it.

Attempt to climb the highest pillar. Try casting Volley of Golden High Heels, trying to spray the high heels across the height of the pillar to create handholds.


If I do it just right, the heels will get embedded in this soft thing.

The Froggy Ninja

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Re: The Forgotten Art: Disgust and Confusion On The Wizardly Way
« Reply #2279 on: July 16, 2014, 09:54:11 am »

Focus on wreaking my enemies shit.
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