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[lawastooshort]

"Er, cos the last two people to see the damned thing got burnt to a white hot porncrisp? Dur."

[Toaster]

Larry just gives him a stare that a more educated person would describe as "baleful."

[Harry Baldman]

Halesey is surprised by the way people keep combusting around him today.

"Holy shit. Let's get out of here too. Bet she didn't see that coming, so to speak."

"You fucking dumbass!  Why'd you centerfold someone else?!" Larry asks, dissatisfied with the way this marketing scheme they've got seems to leave two out of two people and zero out of one demons dead.

"I thought it'd be a different one, man! How's I to know you spumed up a thousand copies of the same double page deathcrotch?! We'll be lucky if the pawn shop isn't burnt down next time we wanna stock up..."

"Er, cos the last two people to see the damned thing got burnt to a white hot porncrisp? Dur."

After Larry gives him a baleful glare, Halesey thinks it prudent to flee - with the way the streets around here seem mostly empty, that's not too difficult to do without attracting any attention. Larry, naturally, follows, and the two casually jog away.

After about ten minutes of putting distance between themselves and yet another porncinerated innocent, Halesey has a thought.

"Er. I hope that pigeondevil didn't get too much of that particular issue. Crap. As long as we don't look at this stuff the options are endless... Or get caught porncinerating innocents. Crappants."

"Hell, it might better if that demon thing does get incinerated.  Unless he wants to buy more," Larry replies, both peeved and panting from all the mandatory cardio he's been doing since becoming a divine pornography purveyor. Without answering, Halesey takes a look around this new place they've found themselves in - looks like they've actually run quite a distance, as they're now next to one of the freeways. Development's pretty sparse around these parts, though Halesey does spy a very seedy-looking truck stop across the road. Judging by the amount of trucks parked outside, there may be quite the market awaiting his private enterprise within.

* * * * *

This is a situation that will require subtlety, tact and understanding, John thinks, and then immediately starts slamming his fist into the door and shouting like a crazed Brazilian plumber on a mission.

"HEY KIDS, ARE YOU IN THERE, WE NEED TO TALK, MISTER LEE SEND ME!"

There is a sound of rapid, panicked movement within the room, then a very audible bump followed by a low-pitched moan of pain. Judging by the rustling within, that got somebody mighty rattled right there.

[lawastooshort]

Oh yes. We're gonna be rich.

Make sure the deathsmut is secure but accessible. Go forth and do private entreprise! Don't willingly hand out anything stapled though.

"Come on dude, I can just smell the money from here, man. I promise I'll try not to accidentally murder anyone this time, okay? And, you know, they might've got better, right?"

[Pancaek]

"THERE IS NO NEED TO PANIC, SHAUNA AND RAVEN LET ME IN. WE REALLY NEED TO TALK THOUGH, SO DO YOU WANT ME TO COME IN OR SHALL I WAIT DOWNSTAIRS?"

[Toaster]

"Right-o.  Let's do this.  Just remember that they often have guns, yeah?"

Larry is no stranger to having guns pulled on him, being a 7-11 clerk- not that he'd admit such.  Actually, since he had been ignoring his boss trying to reach him on his cell, the last text message he got from him said it all- "You're fired."  No matter- magic was now the way of the future.


Privately peddle pornography to domestic dross drivers/distributors.

[Harry Baldman]

Halesey knows a good opportunity when he sees one, and this truck stop definitely has a lot of promise on that front.

"Come on dude, I can just smell the money from here, man. I promise I'll try not to accidentally murder anyone this time, okay? And, you know, they might've got better, right?" he says, tucking his destructoporn into one of the tighter parts of his new trousers so it doesn't get misplaced or misused.

"Right-o.  Let's do this.  Just remember that they often have guns, yeah?" Larry agrees while reminding Halesey of the dire, perpetually looming threat of the Second Amendment. Together they walk toward the truck stop and step inside, finding it to be a rather rustic diner that's filled with a sizable, yet not uncomfortable number of people - mostly hairy people wearing flannel and/or t-shirts, but also a single nun in one of the corners of the room, looking a bit nervous, and a man in a rumpled suit messing around with his phone. The place seems very lively, considering what time of day it is. Halesey wonders if stepping on a table and commencing the hawking would be inappropriate.

* * * * *

John keeps shouting very persuasively at the door - wouldn't want anybody to suspect he wasn't serious, obviously.

"THERE IS NO NEED TO PANIC, SHAUNA AND RAVEN LET ME IN. WE REALLY NEED TO TALK THOUGH, SO DO YOU WANT ME TO COME IN OR SHALL I WAIT DOWNSTAIRS?"

"They did what?" comes a cry from within the room, and seems like it would have been followed by some more choice words, but a sudden shushing interrupts them. A few moments pass, and John can hear a faint whisper or two.

"Er... wait downstairs, please!" the voice, who John presumes to be Luz, says after a period of deliberation.

[Pancaek]

"OKAY"

Go wait downstairs for the two lovebirds

[lawastooshort]

"So - we get right up there on the tables like some kind of far out dressed male stripper, or we go and have a quiet word with one table at a time, eh?"

Approach a likely looking table - try to ensure it is not the nun. Offer them gentleman's literature. Let them check some out if they must.

[Toaster]

"Sure.  You grab a table and I'll grab a different one.  We bolt if they pull guns."

Do the same with a different non-nun table.

"Hey dudes, got a great offer for you.  Check this shit out!"

[Harry Baldman]

The agreeable nature of the two lovebirds fills John with hope for the new generation, and he merely shouts "OKAY" before scooting on downstairs, where he notices Shauna gathering up her stuff along with Raven. The girls turn to him.

"Sounded like that went well, huh?" Shauna says before giving the room a quick glance to see if there's anything she may have forgotten. "Anyhow, I think me and Raven will probably be splitting before they come down. Have fun."

And with that, the two girls quickly leave with very full backpacks - John can only guess what they might be carrying in those. Girl stuff, maybe, or drugs and weaponry, or something else teenagers are into these days. After they leave, he waits for the other two to come down. A few minutes pass, and nothing happens. Then a few more. Still no sight or sound of the two kids. Hm.

* * * * *

Halesey and Larry quickly try to work out some kind of strategy here.

"So - we get right up there on the tables like some kind of far out dressed male stripper, or we go and have a quiet word with one table at a time, eh?"

"Sure.  You grab a table and I'll grab a different one.  We bolt if they pull guns."

Having thus agreed, the two head in different directions and stop at different tables - after double-checking that the nun isn't at either of them, they proceed with the sales pitch.

Halesey, after first greeting the noble patrons of this fine establishment, five in number at this table, and quickly offers them gentlemen's literature - after the drivers ask what sort of smut he's packing, he produces a magazine with a many-armed nude woman on the cover, and lets the truck drivers pass it around - they seem very impressed, and immediately ask how much for a single magazine, and whether he has more like that one.

Larry takes a more informal approach, approaching a table.

"Hey dudes, got a great offer for you.  Check this shit out!" he says, pulling a random magazine and handing it to the two men sitting at it. They look through it, and seem disturbed.

"The hell is this?" one of them asks. "There's, like, a ring covered in eyes in here! And I don't even know what the deal with the flesh chair is. Shit's freaky. We don't want any, thanks."

Hm. Must have gotten a dud.

[lawastooshort]

"Sure, gents, plenty more where that came from! Let's say 5 bucks each, but they're limited editions, so if you see a special one you really want you might wanna bid more, to stop your buddy taking it first..."

Sell gentleman's literature! Let them browse half a dozen and offer me over $5 if they want to!

"Here, take a look at the selection. Just... if you see anything stapled down, do NOT open it - nothing illegal, but it's so dirty you're not allowed to actually look at it in public, if you know what I'm saying... Privacy of your own truck cab, boys..."

[Toaster]

Oops.

"Uh, wrong one bros, hang on and try this one!"

Actually look at what I'm handing them first, and get them a good-looking one.  Avoid anything with staples.

[Pancaek]

"Godsdamned kids"

Go pound on that door some more. If I don't get an answer, kick it open.

[Harry Baldman]

Halesey, seeing that the gentlemen appear to be enjoying their literature, digs around in the bag for a few moments, then produces a half dozen more for the men. They look through them, and their expressions vary - two of the new magazines appear to be well-received, the others... less so. The men promptly give them back, and agree to pay five bucks each for the three good ones.

Larry, meanwhile, backpedals right out of the situation he has found himself in.

"Uh, wrong one bros, hang on and try this one!" he says, looking through the nearby bag, finding another mag that actually has something he can identify as women in it. Fetching women, too! He passes it to the two guys, who seem... slightly transfixed by it, not really minding Larry's presence much at all. One of the men appears to be drooling a little.

* * * * *

John briefly curses the kids and moves back upstairs, seeking out the room with the kids in it once more. He pounds on it a few moments. No answer. Okay, now it's time to try the hard way, then.

[John's body roll: 6-->3]

He kicks the door with all his might, and his foot tears a hole through the bottom half of the door. After a few moments spent extricating his foot, John ducks and puts his hand through the hole, unlocking the door from within - inside is a rather dilapidated bathroom that looks to have been vacated in a hurry. The avenue of escape is obvious - an empty window.