Victoria heals but she's still not getting up. "I promised that I would unquestioningly obey you... I swore that I'd do anything to make you happy... yet I can't... why can't I?" Victoria seemed to be talking to herself as much as she was talking to Selina. "what illusion of free will I have is dragging me down once again... I have no right to ask for forgiveness... please just let me die... please unseal me... I promised you something I couldn't do... so it's only fair that I die..." Victoria seemed to wish that her sudden change in heart was due to simple selfishness, a clear cut case that could simply be dismissed as treachery and penalized as thus. Yet it was not. She had conditioned herself in such a coldly effective manner that she was not remotely capable of that. She didn't want Selina to turn into a full succubus. She didn't want them to endure Hell. Not for her own sake, but because it would be eternal. A lot can happen in an eternity. Somewhere along the line, Selina may regret it. And then what? There would be nothing she could do to comfort her, nothing she could do to amend matters... Privately, she conceded given an eternity... Selina may eventually cease to love her... She had already accepted that. And she had already devised what to do should that happen: she would end her own existence, she would rather cease to exist than to irritate Selina with her presence. She had accepted that. But she could not accept the prospect of Selina regretting her own choices and being incapable of rectifying it. Then what? Would she just uselessly stay with her, a pathetic reminder that someone could have intervened and stopped it? Selina would hate her... Victoria's pulse and breathing became erratic and unstable at that mere thought... Or would she decide that Selina would be better off without her and thus erase herself? Was self-sacrifice truly selfless if the contextual entity has been conditioned to always attempt to do so? Or does self-sacrifice in itself become selfish in a cruel, ironic mockery? Maybe it was inevitable... that given an eternity, Selina would eventually despise her, or at least regret her actions... then... Victoria would have no other choice but to commit suicide. It may hurt or anger Selina further... to simply abandon her... but she'd be better off without her, right? Then... why not kill herself now? It was inevitable, right? So why not spare Selina further pain and end it now? Was this all she was capable of? Causing pain to the people she cared about? Being selfish? Was the pursuit of avoiding selfishness actually selfish? She had vowed to sacrifice everything for Selina's sake... yet, to do so, would require her not to be selfish... but if everything was selfish, then what could she do? Perhaps... perhaps it could work... if she sacrificed her existence, not to kill another but to change Selina's past... so that she could be eternally happy... with someone else... But... Selina wouldn't want that... yet... if she could do that... wouldn't this all be a mere hypothesis? And Selina hypothetically being upset in a hypothetical situation involving a hypothetical entity didn't matter, right? So what if Victoria dies? She doesn't really exist right? She's just another nonexistent part of this hypothesis right? A self-protection mechanism within Victoria activates and transmits all of those thoughts to every bracelet user. She notices, unsurprisingly. But... none of this is happening right? None of this will happen if she could do something like that... right? So... she shouldn't worry that she only hypothetically transmitted this... right? ...Right? ...right? But... that would make everything Selina had to endure meaningless... everything would be meaningless and it was doubtful it could even happen... so it's back to square one. And for Victoria, that square was clearly labelled 'suicide'. Now what? She couldn't even make Selina happy... nothing she could do could make her happy... so she might as well die... yet she's been sealed... and Selina wouldn't let her die...
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Topic: Super academy IC (Name pending) (Read 409317 times)