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Author Topic: The Game Not Named Asthuria - Turn 8: Kaboom  (Read 9910 times)

Harry Baldman

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Re: The Game Not Named Asthuria - Turn 2: Thuraxian Takedown And Gunbeard
« Reply #30 on: August 14, 2013, 09:37:13 am »

Lurf was glad that his trip had gotten off to such a good start. He had intended to remove his nose, anyway - too easy to grab. He remembered his childhood, when many duels were won with a fortuitous nose-grab on the underdog's part. Well, that won't work on Lurf now!

Place shark trophies in pack, climb up the side of the nearby pirate ship. Perhaps there's something fun to do over there.
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kj1225

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Re: The Game Not Named Asthuria - Turn 2: Thuraxian Takedown And Gunbeard
« Reply #31 on: August 14, 2013, 09:38:55 am »

"I'll help you miss just a moment!"
Kyle runs below deck to help the woman who had bad luck.
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Lalasa

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Re: The Game Not Named Asthuria - Turn 2: Thuraxian Takedown And Gunbeard
« Reply #32 on: August 14, 2013, 10:03:58 am »

"Oh, brains!  Brains!  I never knew they were such an odd and disgusting color!  This weird soft matter is what drives people's thoughts and creates all the wonders in the world?  Cool!  Oww!  I think my ankle twisted.  Not to worry, it doesn't seem broken.  That headsplosion was so awesome by the way!  I mean it!  BOOM, and that pirate guy's face flew off!  Brains, ugh..."

What a crazy fall!  Expecting to collide with the pirate, not air, Wisteria now found herself in a pile of splinters.  Hopefully she'll be able to avoid most of them.  Indeed, it seems she had landed in the ship's quite illustrious galley!  Snack time was later.  There was an event scheduled on deck and Wisteria still wanted to rejoin the fun!

Wisteria tries to get up and hobble back up the nearest flight of stairs to the deck.  If Kyle succeeds in coming to help her, accept it with grace. 
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JackoftheBox

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Re: The Game Not Named Asthuria - Turn 2: Thuraxian Takedown And Gunbeard
« Reply #33 on: August 14, 2013, 10:17:22 am »

Well, that was fun while it lasted, but now to the most troublesome matter ahead, the burying. How do you bury these guys on a ship. Hank stops to think for a moment, failing to find a brilliant way to carry out his duty. Maybe checking the pirate ship for fresh corpses would help him think.
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This morning I found myself looking at the numberplates of the cars on my drive in to work and seeing them as tileset characters in ASCII... a silver Renault I was behind had an interesting scene of a Human wrestling a Minotaur near a bin.

Pancaek

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Re: The Game Not Named Asthuria - Turn 2: Thuraxian Takedown And Gunbeard
« Reply #34 on: August 14, 2013, 12:57:20 pm »

"As expected, the use of explosives has solved the problem of the enemy meatbags." He looks at his side "Structural damage detected, this unit will require repairs in the near future. Structural integrety at 66 percent, all systems nominal, chance of enemy victory" He looks at the pirate ship "zero percent"

Go over to the Pirate ship and get into cover. see if I can't find a weapon or another interesting item there.

((By the way, may I ask how we can regain HP points? because I'm getting fucked up rather fast.))
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Powder Miner

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Re: The Game Not Named Asthuria - Turn 1: Naut Today!
« Reply #35 on: August 14, 2013, 03:48:49 pm »

because i'm a dastardly attention-grabbing player :p
I have determined that it probably isn't fair to others if I let you in. Terribly sorry. I do hope you join when a player dies, though!
At the rate it's going, this won't take long.
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webadict

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Re: The Game Not Named Asthuria - Turn 2: Thuraxian Takedown And Gunbeard
« Reply #36 on: August 14, 2013, 05:49:28 pm »

Lurf was glad that his trip had gotten off to such a good start. He had intended to remove his nose, anyway - too easy to grab. He remembered his childhood, when many duels were won with a fortuitous nose-grab on the underdog's part. Well, that won't work on Lurf now!

Place shark trophies in pack, climb up the side of the nearby pirate ship. Perhaps there's something fun to do over there.
[5] - Hastily putting his Shark Trophies no such place, since it appears his pack exists only in his mind, Lurf decides that instead, he’ll use them to climb the ship. Dawning his new Shark Hands, he scales his way up the side of the pirate’s ship.

And boy, is there fun there. It appears that the pirate’s captain has personally challenged Lurf to a wrestling match! Or, at least, that’s what the pirate was implying with what he was wearing. I mean, he really is just asking for it. He’s just standing there... Shooting his beardgun... He probably wouldn’t even say no.

Two Shark Head Trophies lost!
Shark Hands gained!




"I'll help you miss just a moment!"
Kyle runs below deck to help the woman who had bad luck.
"Oh, brains!  Brains!  I never knew they were such an odd and disgusting color!  This weird soft matter is what drives people's thoughts and creates all the wonders in the world?  Cool!  Oww!  I think my ankle twisted.  Not to worry, it doesn't seem broken.  That headsplosion was so awesome by the way!  I mean it!  BOOM, and that pirate guy's face flew off!  Brains, ugh..."

What a crazy fall!  Expecting to collide with the pirate, not air, Wisteria now found herself in a pile of splinters.  Hopefully she'll be able to avoid most of them.  Indeed, it seems she had landed in the ship's quite illustrious galley!  Snack time was later.  There was an event scheduled on deck and Wisteria still wanted to rejoin the fun!

Wisteria tries to get up and hobble back up the nearest flight of stairs to the deck.  If Kyle succeeds in coming to help her, accept it with grace. 
[5 (aid) / 5] - Wisteria stands up and looks around the galley. It’s not very impressive, but there is a very pristine refrigerator. Which might be considered impressive. Wisteria looks for the way back up to the deck, but suddenly sees a hand descending from the ceiling.

“Grab on!” Kyle shakes his hand a bit to make sure she notices.

Kyle grabs Wisteria’s hand and pulls her back up into his arms. She definitely doesn’t find his incubus nature attractive in the least. Nope. Definitely not. She also didn’t blush.

“Do you need a bandage for that?” Kyle asks, ripping a nearby merchant’s shirt (“Hey, that’s my shirt!”) Wisteria tries to refuse, but he fashions a terrible brace anyway. Oh well, it works.

One of the nearby merchants whispers, “Aaaaaawkwaaaaaard,” before he is shot by a rogue bullet.

Wisteria: +1 HP



Well, that was fun while it lasted, but now to the most troublesome matter ahead, the burying. How do you bury these guys on a ship. Hank stops to think for a moment, failing to find a brilliant way to carry out his duty. Maybe checking the pirate ship for fresh corpses would help him think.
[4 + 1 (death)] - Oh boy. Hank finds himself overwhelmed by the number of new corpses that have filled the ship. Somehow evading all the action and gathering the bodies, he sees something amazing.

A hole. In the middle of the merchant’s ship. Today is just Hank’s day! He gathers all of the bodies and shoves them in, covering the top with a nearby sail that of course ships don’t use anymore, what with the discovery of Asthurian Motion. However, Asthurian law requires that ships keep at least one sail, just in case the Asthurian Engine fails. But, what’s the chances of that happening?

Hank feels good about his ability to recall random knowledge at will.

Skill Obscurator gained!



"As expected, the use of explosives has solved the problem of the enemy meatbags." He looks at his side "Structural damage detected, this unit will require repairs in the near future. Structural integrety at 66 percent, all systems nominal, chance of enemy victory" He looks at the pirate ship "zero percent"

Go over to the Pirate ship and get into cover. see if I can't find a weapon or another interesting item there.

((By the way, may I ask how we can regain HP points? because I'm getting fucked up rather fast.))
[1] - Tiny decides that now is most definitely the correct time to search the pirate ship for weapons. So, as Tiny makes his way into the fight, he finds himself suddenly BECOMING the cover for several merchants, hiding from the flurry of bullets that Captain Beardgun was in the process of unleashing!

[Dodge: 6 / 2 / 6] As luck might have it, two nearby merchants appear to have jumped in the way of two bullets headed for Tiny. Tiny’s luck did not improve just yet, however, as he still took a graze to the knee. Ouch. He should really attempt to repair himself! He should definitely take action to repair himself.

Unfortunately, you appear to have gotten yourself stuck into a battle.

-1 HP



Battle [1] - And with that, the merchants attacked the pirate captain, yet none could get anywhere near him. Shots rang out, as his beardgun unleashed its fury on the new attackers.

“Ha ha ha!” The pirate captain’s laugh sends all but the most brave running back to the merchant’s ship, which, as it appears, is Sir Nautingham, Tiny, and Lurf.

Well, maybe not Tiny.

Status:

Lalasa

Pancaek

Harry Baldman

kj1225

JackoftheBox
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kj1225

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Re: The Game Not Named Asthuria - Turn 3: Find The Obscure
« Reply #37 on: August 14, 2013, 05:56:05 pm »

"We can chat more later."
Kyle 'accidentally' gives Wisteria a seductive wink before he goes over to the cannon and aims it at gunbeard.
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JackoftheBox

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Re: The Game Not Named Asthuria - Turn 3: Find The Obscure
« Reply #38 on: August 14, 2013, 06:16:48 pm »

Today has been just fantastically spectacular. Hank is filled with confidence. So many corpses, so much to do. Surely someone is responsible for all the death in here. With a closer inspection of the battlefield, the death dealer must be that demonic creature aiming people with a cannon. As a gratitude for all the fun Hank has had today, tell a preferably helping fact to Kyle about this particular type of cannon he's operating.
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This morning I found myself looking at the numberplates of the cars on my drive in to work and seeing them as tileset characters in ASCII... a silver Renault I was behind had an interesting scene of a Human wrestling a Minotaur near a bin.

Lalasa

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Re: The Game Not Named Asthuria - Turn 3: Find The Obscure
« Reply #39 on: August 14, 2013, 07:29:32 pm »

"What a nice gentleman!" Wisteria declares, breathless, surprisingly unable to add any further comments for possibly the first time. 

Ah, I still don't have anything good to defend myself with.  That could possibly be an issue if I am assaulted by rogue pirates.  Somehow I don't think they want any money or diplomacy, so maybe I should try to find something that I could use for violent diplomacy!  I received some close-combat training, but I'm not sure I could dodge a hailstorm of bullets in order to approach unfriendly hostiles..."  Wisteria searches around the deck of the merchant's ship to find a good weapon to arm herself with.  A pistol or dagger would do quite nicely, but somehow it seemed as if all the dead bodies went missing.

"Ooh, are those shark hands?  What an impressive set of gloves!  They look oddly fresh- perhaps they were made now, in the heat of battle!  Fighting is exciting and invigorating, just like other forms of exercise~!  Although I do think it's a bit more dangerous.  I would have been fine with an aerobics class for a cruise activity!"
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Pancaek

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Re: The Game Not Named Asthuria - Turn 3: Find The Obscure
« Reply #40 on: August 15, 2013, 07:40:50 am »

"This unit has sustained severe structural damage, repairs will be needed ASAP. This unit thinks now would be a good time to make the one shooting bullets from his beard non-functional, Sir, Nautingham. This unit will require aid, for it is pinned down at the moment. Anytime you are willing and able, sir." He states, his voice flat as a pancake.

Use the corpses of the dead merchants as a shield. Attempt repairs. If repairs are not possible due to being in combat, attempt to find a weapon or something on one of the corpses.
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Harry Baldman

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Re: The Game Not Named Asthuria - Turn 3: Find The Obscure
« Reply #41 on: August 15, 2013, 07:50:38 am »

((You have managed to perfectly predict my plan. Good job!))

Lurf saw the man with the gunbeard, and immediately he saw a worthy opponent. A worthy opponent to be tackled from behind!

Grab Gunbeard from behind and suplex him right off the boat. That should severely impede his gunbeard's functionality.
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webadict

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Re: The Game Not Named Asthuria - Turn 3: Find The Obscure
« Reply #42 on: August 16, 2013, 08:10:03 am »

Turn 4

"We can chat more later."
Kyle 'accidentally' gives Wisteria a seductive wink before he goes over to the cannon and aims it at gunbeard.
Today has been just fantastically spectacular. Hank is filled with confidence. So many corpses, so much to do. Surely someone is responsible for all the death in here. With a closer inspection of the battlefield, the death dealer must be that demonic creature aiming people with a cannon. As a gratitude for all the fun Hank has had today, tell a preferably helping fact to Kyle about this particular type of cannon he's operating.
[2 / 1 + 1 (obscurator)] - Kyle quickly rushes to the side of the cannon and attempts to turn the cannon around, just as Tiny had tried before. Of course, he can’t seem to get it to budge, no matter how hard he--”Did you know that cannons were originally designed to propel the ships in case of lost momentum?” interrupts Hank.

“Uh... I don’t think that--”

“The Asthurian Cannon was invented in the year 9267 based on the dream of Queen Asthuria.”

“Look, I don’t have time fo--”

And they continued like this for a while.



"What a nice gentleman!" Wisteria declares, breathless, surprisingly unable to add any further comments for possibly the first time. 

Ah, I still don't have anything good to defend myself with.  That could possibly be an issue if I am assaulted by rogue pirates.  Somehow I don't think they want any money or diplomacy, so maybe I should try to find something that I could use for violent diplomacy!  I received some close-combat training, but I'm not sure I could dodge a hailstorm of bullets in order to approach unfriendly hostiles..."  Wisteria searches around the deck of the merchant's ship to find a good weapon to arm herself with.  A pistol or dagger would do quite nicely, but somehow it seemed as if all the dead bodies went missing.

"Ooh, are those shark hands?  What an impressive set of gloves!  They look oddly fresh- perhaps they were made now, in the heat of battle!  Fighting is exciting and invigorating, just like other forms of exercise~!  Although I do think it's a bit more dangerous.  I would have been fine with an aerobics class for a cruise activity!"
[1] - Wisteria looks for some weapons, but the only available ones appear to be on the pirate’s ship. So, she decides to cross over... Adventurer style! She grabs a nearby rope that is tied to... something... and swings across!

[Swing: 6] Of course, as she’s swinging, she sees Kyle wink at her and loses her grip midswing [Luck: 2] missing the ship entirely.

Things only get worse as it appears a whirlpool has appeared nearby the two ships. [Swim: 5] Wisteria is reminded of her underwater exploration, and thinks fast, grabbing a hold of the pirate’s ship. The whirlpool then fades quietly away.



"This unit has sustained severe structural damage, repairs will be needed ASAP. This unit thinks now would be a good time to make the one shooting bullets from his beard non-functional, Sir, Nautingham. This unit will require aid, for it is pinned down at the moment. Anytime you are willing and able, sir." He states, his voice flat as a pancake.

Use the corpses of the dead merchants as a shield. Attempt repairs. If repairs are not possible due to being in combat, attempt to find a weapon or something on one of the corpses.
[1] - As Tiny goes to duck behind the dead merchants, some more stray shots head toward him!
[Dodge: 3 / 4] Another shot dings him good. System errors are really bogging him down.

He looks around for some nearby patching tools and finds only the dead merchants. Of course, were he functioning normally, he might not have decided this was a good idea.

[Avoid: 2] Of course, shoving dead merchant into your robotic circuits is bound to cause further destruction. Tiny cannot seem to catch a break!

-2 HP



((You have managed to perfectly predict my plan. Good job!))

Lurf saw the man with the gunbeard, and immediately he saw a worthy opponent. A worthy opponent to be tackled from behind!

Grab Gunbeard from behind and suplex him right off the boat. That should severely impede his gunbeard's functionality.
[4 + 1 (wrestling)] - As Lurf charges the pirate captain, a man floats in attached to a parachute, making the two pause for a bit. He quickly detaches himself. The man asks if he’s missed anything, and upon seeing the Shark Brothers being used as boxing gloves, curses. He quickly takes out a folding table and microphone.

“Ladies and gentlemen, we’ve got an exciting show for you all! As usual, this is your host, Mr. Man.” The crowd, having also appeared from seemingly nowhere, cheer.

“In this corner, the returning champion of the open seas, Captain Roger Gunbeard!” The crowd cheers some more, but you can still hear some hisses and boos. Captain Gunbeard strikes a menacing pose.

“And in this corner, the newcomer challenger, defeater of the Thuraxian Shark Brothers, Lurf Aedwenneth, I hope I’m saying that right!” The crowd cheers slightly less, but at least there’s no booing for Lurf. Captain Gunbeard does give him a thumbs down though. [Pose: 5] However, Lurf understands the necessary procedure for these fights. He takes his two Shark Hands and begins clacking the teeth at his opponent. The crowd loves it!

“Well, it appears that Lurf has won over the crowd in one fell swoop! These two seafaring fighters are just about ready to duke it out. Are you ready, folks?!” The crowd goes wild!

“Three... two... o--” and before the announcer can finish, Gunbeard fires his gunbeard! [Dodge: 1 = CRITICAL HIT] Lurf takes a bullet to the chest, grimacing in pain.

“Oo, a dirty blow on the part of the pirate captain. But I guess you don’t become a pirate by following the rules, right folks?” The crowd boos at the dirty tactic.

Lurf charges fast at Gunbeard. So fast, that Gunbeard can’t even react! [Grab: 2 + 1 (wrestling) + 1 (morale)] Lurf misses the first hand, but his skills and the roar of the crowd push him around, grabbing on with his other hand! The shark’s teeth sink in to the pirate’s side!

[Hold: 4 + 1 (wrestling)] “Try as he might, those teeth are NOT letting go!” booms the announcer.

Lurf takes this time to aim two punches into the pirate. [Punch: 2 / 5] The first one falls flat, but the second one connects hard! [Dodge: 1 = (CRITICAL HIT!)] Unfortunately, Lurf takes another bullet, this time to the neck!

Lurf’s grab still holds though, and and spins around to the back of the pirate captain.

[Suplex: 2 + 1 (wrestling)] Lurf tries to lift the captain off the ground, but he can’t do it. Instead, he aims for the head [Aim: 5], chomping down with his hands and bringing the pirate captain over his shoulder, head first.

“It looks like he’s going for the piledriver!”

[Piledriver: 1 + 1 (wrestling)] Nope. It appears Lurf’s body can’t handle the damage he’s taken so far, and he collapses before he can finish the move!

-4 HP



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Lalasa

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Harry Baldman

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Harry Baldman

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Re: The Game Not Named Asthuria - Turn 4: Dirty Fighting
« Reply #43 on: August 16, 2013, 08:25:34 am »

((Um... why did my action go completely and totally random all of a sudden - on a 6, I would understand, but a 5? What's up with that, GM?))

Dive overboard. Clearly, this asshole who just dropped in is at fault. At least underwater I'll be slightly safer.
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kj1225

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Re: The Game Not Named Asthuria - Turn 4: Dirty Fighting
« Reply #44 on: August 16, 2013, 08:31:49 am »

Turn the cannon and fire it at Gunbeard!
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