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Author Topic: CHEESECAKE IS FINAL BOSS  (Read 13605 times)

Cheesecake

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Re: KJ1225 IS FINAL BOSS
« Reply #30 on: August 09, 2013, 06:25:46 pm »

Be baked into existence! Eat kj1225!
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I wish I could unwatch a thread because every time I look at this I can feel myself dying faster
Dying of laughter?
Dying of pure unbridled hatred, actually.

Lalasa

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Re: KJ1225 IS FINAL BOSS
« Reply #31 on: August 09, 2013, 06:36:23 pm »

SUDDENLY APPEAR.  ATTEMPT TO MAKE MCGUFFIN EXPLODE WITH THE FORCE OF MY WILL.
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ExKirby

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Re: KJ1225 IS FINAL BOSS
« Reply #32 on: August 10, 2013, 03:26:04 pm »

DERMONSTER TRIES TO KILL KJ. [4] KJ GETS PUNCHED IN THE FACE A COUPLE OF TIMES. THIS IS MILDLY IRRITATING.

ANGERED, KJ SUMMONS SOME OP DEMON MINIONS. [2] HE SUMMONS SOME AIR. THE AIR IS SWIFTLY INHALED BY THE NEARBY PEOPLE. DRAT, FOILED AGAIN.

TCM FIRES HIS 10 AT KJ. [5] IT TURNS INTO A 10 TONNE WEIGHT, WHICH CRUSHES KJ. HE'S NOT DEAD, BUT DAMN DOES THAT HAVE TO HURT.

REMURTHA TRIES TO SET HIMSELF UP AS AN EVIL BOSS. [4] HE NOW HAS A PRETTY SWEET DUNGEON, SOME DECENT LOOT AND A FEW LOYAL MONSTERS. HAS NO POWERS HIMSELF THOUGH, THAT MIGHT BE A PROBLEM.

FURTUKA FEEDS SOME LAXATIVES TO KJ. [6] SUDDENLY, KJ BECOMES A DIARREAH ROCKET AND SPRAYS FECES EVERYWHERE. FURTUKA THEN DROWNS IN IT. WHOOPS.

LORD SLOWPOKE VIOLENTLY SELLS ICE CREAM. [6] HE VIOLENTLY HANDS A KID A CHOCOLATE CHIP ICE CREAM. THIS MAKES HIM CRY. HE NOW HAS AN ANGRY MOTHER TO DEAL WITH.

OZARCK STABS DERM IN THE BACK. [4] DERM DIES DUE TO INJURIES RELATED TO A STABBED BACK. OZARCK THEN PROCEEDS TO STAB KJ IN THE FRONT. [4] THIS HAS LESS DEATH INVOVLED, WHAT WITH KJ BEING A BOSS AND FRONT STABS NOT BEING AS EFFECTIVE. STILL QUITE PAINFUL THOUGH.

CHINK EATS A THOUSAND MUFFINS. [6] HE BECOMES THE GOD OF MUFFINS AND TAKES THE FORM OF A MUFFIN. A REALLY BIG AND DELICIOUS MUFFIN, BUT STILL A MUFFIN.

THE DINO QUITE LITERALLY EATS SHIT. [5] SHIT HAS BEEN EATEN.

MR. NOCAMERA GRABS HIS GUITAR AND SETS OFF TO FIND THE <INSERT MACGUFFIN HERE>. [6] HE REALISES THE <INSERT MACGUFFIN HERE> IS INSIDE KJ. HE TRIES TO RETRIEVE IT. HE IS NOW IN KJ'S STOMACH.

PERSON TRIES THE HEIMLICH MANEUVER. [6] OUT COMES MR. NOCAMERA AND A WHOLE LOAD OF STOMACH ACID. MR. NOCAMERA BURNS TO DEATH.

XANTALOS TRIES TO BE DELICIOUS. [3] HE TURNS INTO A MCMUFFIN. KJ HAS NO INTEREST IN MCMUFFINS.

KRATH FUCKS WITH THE SPACE-TIME CONTINUUM. [1] HE IS EATEN BY CTHULHU. NOW A WILD CTHULHU IS IN THE FRAY.

ZANZETKUKEN USES TELEPORTATION. [2] HE TELEPORTS SOME MORE STOMACH ACID INTO HIS HANDS. OW THAT HURTS.

CHEESECAKE TRIES TO CONSUME THE BOSS. [4] CONSUMED. HOWEVER, CHEESECAKES DON'T HAVE STOMACHS, SO ASIDE FROM SOME MENTAL TRAUMA, KJ SHOULD BE FINE.

LALASA APPEARS AND TRIES TO EXPLODE THE <INSERT MACGUFFIN HERE>. [1] THE <INSERT MACGUFFIN HERE> EXPLODES HIM.

BOSS: KJ1225
STATUS: DIARREAH ROCKET (WHAT IS SPELLING), FACE PUNCHED, CRUSHED, CHEST STABBED, NO STOMACH ACID
KILLS: 5
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Derm would be a Half-Minute Hero boss. YOU HAVE 30 SECONDS TO FUCK HIM UP OR HE DOES IT TO THE ENTIRE WORLD!

Remuthra

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Re: KJ1225 IS FINAL BOSS
« Reply #33 on: August 10, 2013, 03:30:32 pm »

Acquire fabulous powers. Make a pact with the elder gods or something.

LordSlowpoke

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Re: KJ1225 IS FINAL BOSS
« Reply #34 on: August 10, 2013, 03:32:05 pm »

SUMMON ICE CREAM DEMON

ABSCOND
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Xantalos

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Re: KJ1225 IS FINAL BOSS
« Reply #35 on: August 10, 2013, 03:53:08 pm »

Acquire fabulous powers. Make a pact with the elder gods or something.
Accept pact. Take soul and beat KJ to death.
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Sig! Onol
Quote from: BFEL
XANTALOS, THE KARATEBOMINATION
Quote from: Toaster
((The Xantalos Die: [1, 1, 1, 6, 6, 6]))

Zanzetkuken The Great

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Re: KJ1225 IS FINAL BOSS
« Reply #36 on: August 10, 2013, 03:56:12 pm »

Transform into a Super Saiyan.
Attack KJ with a Kamehameha
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Quote from: Eric Blank
It's Zanzetkuken The Great. He's a goddamn wizard-dragon. He will make it so, and it will forever be.
Quote from: 2016 Election IRC
<DozebomLolumzalis> you filthy god-damn ninja wizard dragon

Mrnocamera

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Re: KJ1225 IS FINAL BOSS
« Reply #37 on: August 10, 2013, 04:11:35 pm »

Make a pact with Cthulhu to find the macguffin.
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Professional shut-in

You don't need to be good at video games anyway, right?

Remuthra

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Re: KJ1225 IS FINAL BOSS
« Reply #38 on: August 10, 2013, 04:13:31 pm »

Make a pact with Cthulhu to find the macguffin.
No-good heroes, stealing my ideas :P.

Lalasa

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Re: KJ1225 IS FINAL BOSS
« Reply #39 on: August 10, 2013, 04:14:46 pm »

LALASA REVIVES AS AN UNDEAD ZOMBIE VAMPIRE.
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wolfchild

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Re: KJ1225 IS FINAL BOSS
« Reply #40 on: August 10, 2013, 04:20:16 pm »

Arrive and Chant, "Ia. Ia. Cthulhu Fthgan"
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You really can both sig it.
But... That would break the laws of sigging! We can't have everyone running around with the same quotes. IT MAKES THEM UNFUNNY FASTER!

TopHat

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Re: KJ1225 IS FINAL BOSS
« Reply #41 on: August 10, 2013, 04:22:24 pm »

Be Remuthra's trusted lieutenant.
Recruit army of mooks in his name.
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I would ask why fire can burn two men to death without getting hot enough to burn a book, but then I read "INEXTINGUISHABLE RUNNING KAMIKAZE RADIOACTIVE FLAMING ZOMBIE" and realized that logic, reason, and physics are all occupied with crying in the corner right now.

Remuthra

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Re: KJ1225 IS FINAL BOSS
« Reply #42 on: August 10, 2013, 04:23:44 pm »

Arrive and Chant, "Ia. Ia. Cthulhu Fthgan"
See last faux-angry message.

Be Remuthra's trusted lieutenant.
Recruit army of mooks in his name.

Submit him to my Diabolical Job Screening Process.

wolfchild

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Re: KJ1225 IS FINAL BOSS
« Reply #43 on: August 10, 2013, 04:25:36 pm »

Arrive and Chant, "Ia. Ia. Cthulhu Fthgan"
See last faux-angry message.

Be Remuthra's trusted lieutenant.
Recruit army of mooks in his name.

Submit him to my Diabolical Job Screening Process.

Alternate action, Enter as Cala]/url] from Digitalhellhound's their coming is at hand, then BEAT UP Cthulhu
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You really can both sig it.
But... That would break the laws of sigging! We can't have everyone running around with the same quotes. IT MAKES THEM UNFUNNY FASTER!

kj1225

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Re: KJ1225 IS FINAL BOSS
« Reply #44 on: August 10, 2013, 04:45:34 pm »

Oh wait, I'm a final boss and this is only the first battle. Teleport to my secret base in a volcano on a space station on a random moon. Scatter various items to allow the people fighting me to get to my base around the world to be protected by especially competent minions.
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