REMURTHA HARVESTS ANOTHER BOSS SOUL. [6] HE PULLS OUT ZANZETKUKEN'S SOUL. HE THEN PUTS IT INTO THE SAME CONTAINER AS KJ'S SOUL, WITHIN WHICH THEY FUSE TOGETHER. THE AMOUNT OF ENERGY CREATED IN THIS REACTION EXPLODES THE CONTAINER AND THE FUSED SOUL FLIES BACK INTO ZANZETKUKEN. THIS CAN ONLY END WELL.
THE SENTIENT BOWTIE TRIES TO BEFRIEND ZANZETKUKEN WITH A SALAD. [6] THEY BECOME FRIENDS WITH BENEFITS. THIS CAN ALSO ONLY END WELL.
FURTUKA GIVES THE GIFT OF A FATAL HEART DISEASE. [5] ZANZETKUKEN NOW HAS A FATAL HEART DISEASE. WELL, NOT SO FATAL BECAUSE, Y'KNOW, FINAL BOSS AND ALL THAT, BUT STILL EXTREMELY PAINFUL.
KJ USES HIS ALMOST A BOSS FORM. [2] UHHH... WHAT IS IT YOU WANTED TO DO WITH YOUR ALMOST BOSS FORM AGAIN?
LALASA USES THE GIANT NEEDLE. [2] FIRST HE NEEDS TO FIND A GIANT NEEDLE.
TOMCOST BECOMES A WADDLE DOO. [1] HE INSTEAD BECOMES A MAXIM TOMATO. ALL OF THE WADDLE DEES FORGET WHAT THEY WERE DOING AND GO HOME.
MR. NOCAMERA LOOKS UP INAPPROPRIATE IMAGES ON THE INTERNET. [1] HE ACCIDENTALLY LEMON PARTY. THIS MAKES HIS BRAIN EXPLODE.
EOTYRANNUS IS STILL A SHIT-EATING DINOSAUR. [3] HE RUNS INTO ZANZETKUKEN. THIS DOESN'T HURT AS MUCH AS YOU MIGHT OTHERWISE THINK.
ZANZETKUKEN TRIES TO BYPASS THE SAIYAN BLOCK. [4] HE GETS TO HAIR LEVEL 2. THIS ALLOWS HIM ACCESS TO SUPER PERFECT CHELL.
SENTIENT BOWTIE USES A YOUTUBE LINK WHICH DUE TO INTERNET I CANNOT VIEW AT THIS TIME. [5] WHATEVER HAPPENED, I'LL ASSUME ZANZETKUKEN WAS HARMED BY IT QUITE BADLY.
EMPIRICIST MAKES SOME MORE <INSERT MACGUFFIN HERE>S. [1] HE IS EXPLODED FOR HERESY.
OZARCK USES HOT PRESIDENTIAL WIZARD SLAYER POWERS. [3] ALL OF THIS GIVES ZANZETKUKEN A HEADACHE.
LORD SLOWPOKE MAKES ICE CREAM RABBITS. [4] THERE ARE NOW A LOT OF ICE CREAM RABBITS. ZANZETKUKEN GETS BRAIN FREEZE.
TOPHAT MAKES HIS BUSINESS MORE PROFITABLE. [4] IT'S BECOMING QUITE POPULAR AND VERY MUCH PROFITABLE. A GOOD LONG-TERM INVESTMENT.
TCM USES GHOST KNEE. [1] ON HIS OWN FACE. HE DIES FROM THE RIDICULOUS AMOUNT OF DISLOCATION THAT MUST HAVE HAPPENED TO KNEE HIMSELF IN THE FACE.
PERSUS MAKES A VERY GENERIC COMMAND. [6] HE RESPAWNS IN THE SAME PLACE AS ZANZETKUKEN IS NOW. THIS HAS THE SAME EFFECT AS A TELEFRAG, THROWING BODY PARTS EVERYWHERE. AND YET ZANZETKUKEN IS STILL ALIVE.
JUSTIN BIEBER GIVES FREE MUFFINS. [1] NOBODY WANTS MUFFINS FROM JUSTIN BIEBER. THEY THROW HIM INTO A WELL.
WOLFCHILD GETS SHOOTING. [4] HEADSHOT. YEAAHHHHH.... THAT'LL DO IT. ZANZETKUKEN HAS BEEN SLAIN BY A BULLET TO THE BRAIN. HEY, THAT RHYMES.
XANTALOS TRANSFERS OLD ENERGY TO A DEAD BODY. [1] THE DEAD BODY TRANSFERS ITS OLD ENERGY BACK. THIS MAKES XANTALOS ABOUT 156 YEARS OLD. HE DIES.
CHEESECAKE COMES IN TO DEFEAT THE FINAL BOSS. [5] OH HEY, ZANZETKUKEN IS STILL ALI-WAIT NO HE'S JUST BEEN SMOTHERED BY A MASSIVE CHEESECAKE.
KILLERHELLHOUND FIRES ZE NUKES. [4] ZE NUKES ARE FIRED. THIS KILLS THREE RANDOM PEOPLE. HECK IF I GIVE A DAMN.
NOW I'M CERTAIN THAT ZANZETKUKEN IS DEAD. IN HIS LIFE AS A FINAL BOSS, HE KILLED 14 PEOPLE, BEATING THE OLD RECORD OF 11. HE DIED, NOT FROM DISMEMBERMENT, NOT FROM A BULLET, BUT FROM BEING SMOTHERED BY A CHEESECAKE, PURELY BECAUSE THE GM FOUND THAT MILDLY AMUSING.
THE <INSERT MACGUFFIN HERE> STARTS ROTATING AND FLYING. IT EVENTUALLY LAUNCHES ITSELF TO CHEESECAKE, SLIGHTLY EMBEDDING ITSELF IN THE CHEESE. HE GAINS ALL OF THE POWERS OF A FINAL BOSS YADDA YADDA LESS TALK MORE FIGHTING.