I think the problem with debating dorfs and ideology is A, they're really stupid, B, they're apolitical, and C, this far, you'll always be a frontier settlement, even after reaching the population cap and attracting the monarch. I mean, initially you're seven guys stuck in the wilderness, quite possibly surrounded by undead elk and zombifying rain. The pick is communal property because it's the future of everyone, as is the plump helmet spawn. If whoever brought the pick die, someone else will have to pick it up, because it's the difference between survival and being eaten by elk, and there's nothing in place to move society beyond that as it gets more advanced.
Secondly dwarves have absolutely no motivation whatsoever. They sleep when they're tired, they eat when they're hungry, but that's it. Yeah, they love gem encrusted statues in their bedroom and love admiring fine doors (even more so when it's "their" door,) and get pissed off when someone have something nicer than them, but they will never try to change any of that. They're not going to put in extra work or petition the local government to improve their quality of life. They simply exist in the present. From what I've heard about future updates (political stuff and personality rewrites mainly, but I suppose the whole caravan/tavern thing comes into it) they'll definitely on the capitalistic side of things in the future, which is okay. Dwarves have always seemed more like industrialist than artisans. Right now however, there's no such thing as Dwarf ideology. If you tried to discuss it with one he would just give you a blank stare before canceling the conversation to get a drink. I
sort of understand where your friend is coming from, even if he's overreacting a bit, but dwarven society as is seems more like a really weird apathetic anarchistic mob-rule than communism. I mean, right now the entire dwarven government consist of the three guys going "make me golden statues for my bedroom or I'll have the hammerer beat you to death."
Did you know that the newspaper Pravda only knew that his name is A. Stakhanov? So they guessed it was Alexey. However his real name was Andrei. After he became famous, he wrote a letter to Stalin about it, Stalin said "The Pravda aren't mistaken!", shortly after this all of his personal papers and IDs, were changed on state order. So he became Alexey officially.
Hehe, that's actually quite dorfy. "but... but... my name is really Obok," "Well, you're named after my brother Steve now, deal with it."