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Dracula.

2 (16.7%)

Osiris.

0 (0%)

Zombie Michael Jackson.

2 (16.7%)

Zombie Teddy Roosevelt.

0 (0%)

Doppleganger TCM.

1 (8.3%)

All of the above.

7 (58.3%)

Total Members Voted: 12

[TopHat]

((Don't worry about seemingly low-quality updates, it's fine, it's your first RTD. If you're having fun then we are. Unless you're an asshole GM. But you're not. ))

Let's recap.

Cheesecake is now a pornstar and sex offender.
Greenstar has drugged small children and mindwiped police.
kj has sexually assualted a sentient cup of coffee.
TopHat may or may not be involved in an international super-powered midget smuggling ring.
And you are acquiring a platinum plated sexbot so that the ghost of 2Pac will come back to life.

Jesus H. Motherfucking Christ. We haven't even gotten to the fucked up stuff I had planned yet.

That's why I voted 'completely realistic' in the poll.

[Gamerlord]

((Don't worry about seemingly low-quality updates, it's fine, it's your first RTD. If you're having fun then we are. Unless you're an asshole GM. But you're not. ))

Let's recap.

Cheesecake is now a pornstar and sex offender.
Greenstar has drugged small children and mindwiped police.
kj has sexually assualted a sentient cup of coffee.
TopHat may or may not be involved in an international super-powered midget smuggling ring.
And you are acquiring a platinum plated sexbot so that the ghost of 2Pac will come back to life.

Jesus H. Motherfucking Christ. We haven't even gotten to the fucked up stuff I had planned yet.

That's why I voted 'completely realistic' in the poll.

Sorry.

[TopHat]

Don't be. Almost twice as many people went for the 'feel free to screw us over' option.

[Greenstarfanatic]

...Uh...
Well, now that THAT'S over, let's just go up to my room and change into my Karkat Vantas Cosplay.

[Gamerlord]

Samuél Malbeau - Greenstarfanatic - ...Uh... Well, now that THAT'S over, let's just go up to my room and change into my Karkat Vantas Cosplay.
[1]
((Whelp, time to pull out the Metamorphica.))
[380 - Body Function.]
[297 - Light Dependency.]
Congrats! You cosplayed so badly your body mutated! You know require light to live!
Chaeskake - Cheesecake - Run! Kill! No, no! It's happening all over again! I didn't mean it! I didn't mean it Martha!
[5]
Escape from the morally righteous mob chasing you proves easy. Still, there's a bounty on your head now.
Kyle Johnson - kj1225 - Kyle walks away since croissants don't have legs to chase me down with.
[1]
The croissant realises this at the same time you do! He wastes no time in hitting you with a table and breaking your legs; removing your only advantage.
Jonathan McMacen - TopHat - The way I came in, stupid! Grab stuff, exit, find saner hotel.
You smack yourself in the head and set about retracing your steps.
[4]
After some time you find your way to the exit and walk to find a new hotel.
[5]
And there's one next door! Oh the luck!
Aaron Wallace - TCM - Pull out knife. Perform a hold-up on the owner of the Sexbot Shop via street knowledge.
"GIVE ME YOUR ROBOTS N' SHIT YOU FAT MOTHERFUCKER!"
[6 + 2 = 8]
You make to hold up the owner. Unsuccessfully. Oh shit he's dead.

Spoiler: GM Notes (click to show/hide)

At least I found a use for the Metamorphica.

[Greenstarfanatic]

((Oh god how Ironic. The trolls actually normally dislike light.))

Welp, this cosplay won't do. Try...CASTIEL! YES THAT WORKS. THEN TURN ON ALL THE LAMPS. ALL OF THEM.

[Cheesecake]

Clone self through self sex. Speed up his growth with metabolic steroids, and when his appearance is similar to mine, kill him and turn him in for profit!

[TopHat]

Enter new hotel, ask if there are any rooms available.
If there are, ask the price.

[kj1225]

Crawl away and then call the cops on the croissant.

[TCM]

Steal a platinum sexbot and run.

[Gamerlord]

Samuél Malbeau - Greenstarfanatic - Welp, this cosplay won't do. Try...CASTIEL! YES THAT WORKS. THEN TURN ON ALL THE LAMPS. ALL OF THEM.
[6]
You now are the spitting image of a character from a webcomic that went defunct over a hundred years ago, congratulations!
Chaeskake - Cheesecake - Clone self through self sex. Speed up his growth with metabolic steroids, and when his appearance is similar to mine, kill him and turn him in for profit!
[1]
You have sex with yourself. A passing camera crew records and puts it online. The self-mating is successful in making another you, as is the sped up growth rate. But... he isn't so cooperative about the whole killing him part.
FIGHT!
Kyle Johnson - kj1225 - Crawl away and then call the cops on the croissant.
[6]
The police arrive and start beating on the croissant. Serves him right; thinking he's an equal to a human.
Jonathan McMacen - TopHat - Enter new hotel, ask if there are any rooms available. If there are, ask the price.
[6]
The obviously pre-op male-to-female transsexual on the reception leers at you.
Maybe we can cut a little deal, handsome?
Aaron Wallace - TCM - Steal a platinum sexbot and run.
[4]
Grabbing a bot and running for it, you JUST manage to get away before the police arrive. Bad luck a security camera was watching the store.

Spoiler: GM Notes (click to show/hide)

And the haphazard, convoluted and totally-not-made-up-on-the-fly plot continues.

[kj1225]

Go get healing. And try to mutate myself if healing is not an option.

[Cheesecake]

Attack! Attack!

[TCM]

Put Hoodie on, run to the hospital.

[TopHat]

"erm....... terribly sorry, I meant to go to the hotel next door"
Go back to first hotel, apologize, get my room back
Sort through luggage in room.
Can't be too careful, considering...