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[Moghjubar]

Well, I've got an extra copy of Starbound and never did anything with it... and the Starbound thread itself is full of speculations on release, delays, leaks, bloat, and whatnot, so here goes!

I have a single copy of Starbound to give away: rules as follows.

1: No escaped lunatics: you must also have created your B12 account by July 27 (relatively)
2: Entries are 1 per person
3: To enter, do some basic research on Starbound: stuff from their forums, stuff from their update posts, whatever... and then make completely baseless conspiratorial links from it!  Example:
4: the contest will go until Saturday August 3, 1pm CST.  After that I will collect entries and random.org. 
5: If you want to add more Starbound copies to giveaway, please let me know (preferably before Saturday).

"Starbound has quests. Quests lead to killing bears.  Killing bears means you kill Smokey the Bear. Starbound is trying to start forest fires!"
(brownie points for sticky note links)
You can create new links or link from someone else's links as long as something Starbound is related: no giant chains leading way far out with nothing to do with Starbound at all please (try to keep it max 2 out before linking back).  Remember, try to keep it wild, baseless stuff as well, we don't want anything 'too close to the real conspiracy' [and of course, don't make it too crazy / Real life! Keep it legal! Why do I have to say this?!]

   

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Giveaway results:
Rolled results: winner is quinnr!
17  quinnr
20  Mapleguy555
 4   werty892
24  WhenInRome
16  scriver
(the other rollers names have been removed to protect the innocent)
14
 3
11
 7
19
22
15
21
13
27
26
12
25
 2
18
 6
10
 1
 9
 8
23
 5

Assigned Numbers-
GaxkangtheUnbound: 1
Urist Imiknorris: 2
choppy: 3
werty892: 4
Brotato: 5
Viken: 6
Neonivek: 7
JohnieRWilkins: 8
Shadowlord: 9
Mickey Blue:  10
timferius: 11
BunnyBob77: 12
TempAcc: 13
Nighthawk: 14
Antur: 15
scriver: 16
quinnr: 17
Glloyd: 18
clone95: 19
Mapleguy555: 20
uber pye: 21
The13thRonin: 22
SquatchHammer: 23
WhenInRome: 24
Fniff: 25
Ricky: 26
somebody: 27
 

The true conspiracy:

Novakids are like, made of stars, right? Stardust, as we all know, is what allows Peter Pan to fly and stay young. (For those who haven't read the awesome prequel, Stardust is a magical substance contained in meteors that has all sorts of uses, including mutating a bird into a fairy filled with the stuff...aka Tinker Bell). Since Peter Pan obviously plays such a large part in the game, at least one planet in the game is going to be based on the Peter Pan and the Starcatcher's story, with a mysterious island of natives, a pirate ship, and meteors falling from the sky at regular intervals, being the only way to unlock magic in the game.

[GaxkangtheUnbound]

Posting my conspiracy:
Florans are a race of sentient humanoid plants. Florans are usually very violent and eat each other. Therefore, starbound is implying that plants are very violent cannibals!

[sebcool]

Not joining, but I'm adding a theory.

Starbound allows you to pick your race. One of the options is a humanoid monkey. The humanoid monkeys must be from another planet. Therefore, starbound is implying that monkeys are aliens from another planet.

I'm not very good at this.

[Baneling]

Starbound's Novakid race is sentient, humanoid masses of gasses surrounded by shells of plasma. Novakids have Wild West-styled cowboy attire and weaponry. Starbound says that Americans are all aliens created by the death of a distant star!

EDIT: I forgot to mention I don't intend to join, I've already bought the game. I just find this idea amusing and decided to write one.

[Urist Imiknorris]

That is pretty much true. After all, the atoms that make us up were (pretty much entirely) made in stars. And ask any native American about our alien status.

[choppy]

Man this is hard.

Starbound has many race we gave on earth. Penguins, bears, and fish. That means Starbound is saying that we are all aliens.

[werty892]

Posting my conspiracy:
Florans are a race of sentient humanoid plants. Florans are usually very violent and eat each other. Therefore, starbound is implying that plants are very violent cannibals!

Therefore, meat eaters are vegetarians! Starbound hates animals and implies that they are vegetables!

[Brotato]

In Starbound all the monsters are named Waffles, and you kill the monsters.  Therefore, the dev team wants us to burn down IHOP!

[Viken]

In starbound, you can terraform the planets to your liking; even though they try to kill you in the process.  Therefore, they're out to kill Mother Nature, in order to spread their own cruel designs across the world.

[Neonivek]

Goodness you guys sure do suck at this.

With the music update they added instruments to the game and played Glados' theme. Since you see Starbound itself is actually an invention of Glados for a mass psychological experiment on the entire world.

The original Portal game was just a warning subtly sent by the Valve team and is the sole reason why Halflife 3 hasn't been put out.

Since you see...

STARBOUND IS HALFLIFE 3!!!

[JohnieRWilkins]

Oh bollocks. Okay I'll let loose with what I know at great risk of personal harm. These Starbound guys are in league with some big conspiracy I don't yet understand. Let's share info though. Exhibit A:

The rules and announcements forum has this up:

Notice A Reminder About You & Your Personal Information

How would they know my personal information if they weren't involved with the NWO?

Exhibit B:
The feedback and bugs forum:

I've enabled the ability to share your thoughts anonymously in this forum. (Which was always an option because this forum allows guest posting. But this is more streamlined and doesn't require you to log out.)

Note that admins and up can see who's really posting still. And mods can probably figure it out via IP. This is so that you can put up a potentially controversial idea and have the idea, and not your own reputation, be the only thing at stake.

They can figure out who you are with nothing but an IP address!!!

On further study, these guys have cleverly hidden images of UFOs on their main site. This can't be a coincidence. This is strong evidence that shows their involvement with extraterrestrials along with the NWO.

Keep vigilant and remember: the truth is out there.

[Neonivek]

Posting my conspiracy:
Florans are a race of sentient humanoid plants. Florans are usually very violent and eat each other. Therefore, starbound is implying that plants are very violent cannibals!

And the happening involved all the plants in the world being evil... But that makes no sense... Unless

Not joining, but I'm adding a theory.

Starbound allows you to pick your race. One of the options is a humanoid monkey. The humanoid monkeys must be from another planet. Therefore, starbound is implying that monkeys are aliens from another planet.

I'm not very good at this.

Of course! Earth's Plants are from an alien monkey planet brought here by alien monkeys! But wait... wouldn't they still be around? unless

Starbound's Novakid race is sentient, humanoid masses of gasses surrounded by shells of plasma. Novakids have Wild West-styled cowboy attire and weaponry. Starbound says that Americans are all aliens created by the death of a distant star!

EDIT: I forgot to mention I don't intend to join, I've already bought the game. I just find this idea amusing and decided to write one.

OF COURSE!!! The Novakid Rangers killed them all and ate their corpses

Man this is hard.

Starbound has many race we gave on earth. Penguins, bears, and fish. That means Starbound is saying that we are all aliens.

Indeed, we all come from the alien monkey planet.

But why would the developers be trying to do that?

In Starbound all the monsters are named Waffles, and you kill the monsters.  Therefore, the dev team wants us to burn down IHOP!

I see, it is all a diversion to occlude their real goal of destroying IHOP... but why would they want to do that?

In starbound, you can terraform the planets to your liking; even though they try to kill you in the process.  Therefore, they're out to kill Mother Nature, in order to spread their own cruel designs across the world.

OF COURSE!!! IHOP is trying to kill mother nature by Teraforming the planet! It is so obvious!

What genius could be behind such a game?

Goodness you guys sure do suck at this.

With the music update they added instruments to the game and played Glados' theme. Since you see Starbound itself is actually an invention of Glados for a mass psychological experiment on the entire world.

The original Portal game was just a warning subtly sent by the Valve team and is the sole reason why Halflife 3 hasn't been put out.

Since you see...

STARBOUND IS HALFLIFE 3!!!

GLADOS!!!

Oh bollocks. Okay I'll let loose with what I know at great risk of personal harm. These Starbound guys are in league with some big conspiracy I don't yet understand. Let's share info though. Exhibit A:

The rules and announcements forum has this up:

Notice A Reminder About You & Your Personal Information

How would they know my personal information if they weren't involved with the NWO?

Exhibit B:
The feedback and bugs forum:

I've enabled the ability to share your thoughts anonymously in this forum. (Which was always an option because this forum allows guest posting. But this is more streamlined and doesn't require you to log out.)

Note that admins and up can see who's really posting still. And mods can probably figure it out via IP. This is so that you can put up a potentially controversial idea and have the idea, and not your own reputation, be the only thing at stake.

They can figure out who you are with nothing but an IP address!!!

On further study, these guys have cleverly hidden images of UFOs on their main site. This can't be a coincidence. This is strong evidence that shows their involvement with extraterrestrials along with the NWO.

Keep vigilant and remember: the truth is out there.

ALIEN GLADOS!!!

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

[Shadowlord]

So if you go high enough above a planet, you'll find asteroids, which you can stand on. But... they float there in space, not falling, whereas you still fall down towards the planet. Clearly something weird is going on here. If the asteroids were in orbit, in order to stand on them you'd also have to be in orbit, which means you wouldn't fall back down to the planet, or if you flew straight up, the asteroids would come along and hit you at some ludicrous speed, killing you.

I think it is obvious what is going on here. Clearly the spaceships' gravity/antigravity fields are powered by asteroids.

[Mickey Blue]

Per the internets; Starbound ripped off Terraria.. Terraria ripped off Minecraft.. Minecraft ripped off Infiniminer..

Starbound is a government test to determine how poorly angry, ignorant people on the internet understand the evolution of art and genre.

The only possible reason for this is that they want to make a new Ghostbusters movie but starring the a group of angry B&B operators called "Guest Busters", look for it on the History Channel this fall.


Or Aliens, they usually work too.

[timferius]

Hmm. Well, as mentioned above, Florans are a race of humanoid/cannabalistic flower peoples. Since the likely-hood of an alien race being so similar to ours is slim, it is obvious that this is allegorically tying the canabalistict traits to humans. Is it saying all humans are cannables? No, it's trying to ENCOURAGE cannabalism amongst humans, this would lead to the decrease of human population on earth, and an increase in protein rich nutrients being absorbed by the soil, leading to more, strong flowers, with a taste for flesh, leading to Florans!