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[Nirur Torir]

The time of the Used Kitchen draws ever closer. Soon, there shall be a reasonably priced kitchen in every home!

But first, who are you?
What assets do you have to help with your kitcheny goals?
And finally, Why are you doing this, what in name of George Foreman is wrong with you?!?!

[Digital Hellhound]

Like I'd tell my real name to you. You can call me Robb.

A small Central Asian state on the brink of collapse, as well as Fridgeonics: The Everyman's Guide to Kitchen Architecture.

A man's gotta do what a man's gotta do.

[flame99]

My name? Hell if I know. Call me... Faceless.
Bottle of whiskey and a handgun. All a man needs.
What's wrong with me? Oh, I'll tell you what's wrong with me. Everything. Every cell in my body is screaming for the release of death, but that's not something that can happen to me. No, I made a deal with the devil. I can live forever! You might wonder why that means something's so wrong with me. I've lived through a lot. I was born, back when humans were building pyramids. I saw all kinds of horrific things, and even though I can't die, I can feel it. Death's hounds at my heels. I want them to catch me, but they can't. So, I took up this. I think, for some reason, if I manage to do this, I can finally use this handgun on myself. To end my suffering.

[Doomblade187]

Like I'd tell my real name to you. You can call me Robb.

A small Central Asian state on the brink of collapse, as well as Fridgeonics: The Everyman's Guide to Kitchen Architecture.

A man's gotta do what a man's gotta do.

+1

[Nirur Torir]

You are King Rob of Kitchenistan. Your new position grants you your own cabinet, and you should call them in to discuss the state of things, after reading their files.

Personal assets:
Fridgeonics: The Everyman's Guide to Kitchen Architecture, a really cool 300 page manual.
A wardrobe with three sets of casual clothes.
A half-empty lighter.

Nation specs:
Annual budget: $137.31 USD
Population: 625,000 able workers. 1.15% annual growth. 25% literacy. Life expectancy of 35 years.
Economy: Subsistence farming. No imports or exports. No industry. No notable infrastructure. GDP/C: $1000.
Military: 30,000 untrained volunteers with WWI surplus equipment.

Kitchen Heresy Religious Spread:
5% casual followers in Kitchenistan.
Unknown worldwide.

[flame99]

Conference with both our cabinet and our drawers.

[Nirur Torir]

"Please hand me the papers, Mr. Cabinet. I need to decide who is on the cabinet."

"... Mr. Drawer, what do you think we should do about Mr. Cabinet not fulfilling my Royal Edict? .. Defenstration, followed by a drawing and quartering? I think that's a bit extreme, but it's not a bad idea. We can't have people thinking they can disobey Royal Edicts."

Outside the room, the ministers-to-be shuffle nervously at the sound of a large heavy object being shoved around and then dropped out of a window. (Ground floor. There isn't enough money in the budget for a two-story administrative building.)

[lawastooshort]

Now conference with our cabinet ministers in our drawers. Present each one with a second hand mug. Inform that we have sold clothes for Greater Good of Kitchenistan and they should do likewise (keeping drawers).