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[birdy51]

To the Town Hall. The beach is an evil place.

I just know it...

[Parsely]

Apparently the turtle was asking what I saw in Bay12 that made me want to come there.
The beach is pretty great I guess, but right now I'm just wondering why the real Bay12 doesn't have any of these things yet.


This turtle is a fucking dick.


Please get me out of this car right now before he shatters what little remains of my puny boy-ego with his passive aggressive low-blows.






Good riddance to rotten bastards. Anyways, let's go inside this Town Hall thing over here (not that we have a choice).

---


This is Pelly, she's a clerk at the Town Hall, and not a turtle, so I love her right now.

She remembers my name, and mentions that Tom Nook (the mayor I guess) said I get a free house. She also mentions that "its a touch.. modest.." which can't be good.


He's probably a turtle.


Right, let's go check out our new home!

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

For anyone who's played these games before, go ahead and just run my life when it comes to this game. I've never played it and I hear it's got a steep learning curve. >.>

[LordSlowpoke]

i have no idea how to play this

go check out your home

the beach comes first though

[Parsely]

I head south, towards the ocean, and shake a few trees to get some cherries. I also picked some sunflowers! I wonder what they're for? Do I get hungry or something? Anyway..


Yeah the beach is pretty sweet. There's even seashells that I can collect. I got two Angel Combs and one with a really long name (porceletta? I can't remember).

I was busy playing in the surf when I met a fellow collector named Blaire!


I was immediately put off by her calling me a nutlet, and edged away quietly before she could come up with any other insults. Maybe its because I'm human.


What? I don't know who you are.


Are these inside jokes or something? Seriously what's the deal? At least cheepers is better than 'nutlet'. Twiggy does seem slightly more insane than Blaire though. He collects furniture, which is less endearing than seashell collecting and has more potentially terrifying implications. He's probably married to a lamp or something.

Also, why is everyone's name a pun except for Blaire's? Pelly is obviously a Pelican, and Twiggy, being a bird, has thin limbs that are prone to snapping. It feels like a sunny, populated version of Silent Hill, except the cult just gives their children horrible names rather than trying to make them give birth to the antichrist.


I found my house, but had to wait for Twiggy to walk away so he didn't see me go inside. Can't have him knowing that I live here.

I don't know what Pelly meant about the place being modest. It actually seems pretty nice. I'm sure its plenty cozy on the insi-


What the hell is this bullshit. There's literally a box and a candle. Where am I supposed to sleep?!

[Furtuka]

Your bed's upstairs.

[Parsely]

Oh.

That still would've been infinitely hilarious if my house was literally just furnished with a single box.

So now what? Perhaps we should go see Tom Nook, he could probably give us some work or advice on what to do next. We should also pay Twiggy a visit.


Even though we have no money and only some cherries, seashells, and a flower to our name, it'd still be nice to see what kind of stuff he can offer us.

[LordSlowpoke]

use the phone to purchase a refrigerator from the shopping call center

it will be delivered to you in 3 business days even if the third day is a snowstorm

also give red weeds to that one girl with glasses in the library so her heart starts turning colors

oh and earn 10 dollops so you can make that call, fucking payphones at home i swear

e: make sure to throw a cucumber into the nearest lake daily

[Parsely]

GUYS. YOU DIDN'T TELL ME WE HAD A SERVICE CENTRE.


Omigod omigod omigod. Okay so I want a double large, double olive supreme, and a PS4, and a picture of Toady looking pensive, and the source code for Dwarf Fortress.


...

Whatever. Let's go find Tom.


Nevermind he's already here. So what kind of animal do you guys think he is?

[LordSlowpoke]

good sir this is obviously friends of mineral town and you called the shopping call center

i can believe

tom nook is also obviously the mayor and not an animal but a potato dressed in red

...red potato, let's go with badger

[Parsely]

I think he's a raccoon. Badger was pretty close though.


Y'know it actually is a really nice house, and I really appreciate him giving it to me. This Tom is a pretty swell guy.


Wait, what..?


Oh Jesus Christ I should've known. How could I have been so blind.




























Oh he's good.

[LordSlowpoke]

you know what this means right

furniture shoplifting timeeeeeeee

[Furtuka]

Well actually he's a Tanuki.


Oh and if you think he's persuasive just wait until you meet Lyle!

[birdy51]

And thus ends your first encounter with the Devil of Animal Crossing.

Muhahaaa... Muahahahhaahaaaa!!!

[SomeStupidGuy]

This's gonna be gewd. :v

PTW-ing.

[USEC_OFFICER]

Well, have fun with your indentured servitude! I'm sure it'll be a blast.

Also:

make sure to throw a cucumber into the nearest lake daily

wat