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[HavingPhun]

Well, on my first game I had a fort of 30 or so dwarfs. I neglected my military and then a caravan and a group of centaurs decided to show up at the same time. The caravan guards stood back and let my dwarfs handle themselves. In the end my dwarfs bit all of the centaurs to death with only a few dead. Only when I giant bull showed up did the guards decide to get involved.

Another not so badass event was when an ogress came to my fort and decided she would repeated pick up kittens and punch their skulls in..

[Spacespinner]

Well, on my first game I had a fort of 30 or so dwarfs. I neglected my military and then a caravan and a group of centaurs decided to show up at the same time. The caravan guards stood back and let my dwarfs handle themselves. In the end my dwarfs bit all of the centaurs to death with only a few dead. Only when I giant bull showed up did the guards decide to get involved.

Another not so badass event was when an ogress came to my fort and decided she would repeated pick up kittens and punch their skulls in..

She was trying to save you from a catsplosion.

[Shoruke]

One of my female swordsDwarves lost her sword, and her baby got stabbied. She got kinda depressed. Then she went totally batshit and started beating down all these Goblins with her baby's corpse.

She took down an entire siege (composed of three squads) by herself in this state. Sadly, that trick only worked once. She took down some skeletal camels too, though.

[Cyroth]

To quote myself. 

My Mayor went berserk from constant unhappyness, and after he molested some dwarves my legendary Swordsdwarf arrives.
The combat looked something like this.

The Swordsdwarf strikes the Mayor in the right lower arm with his *Iron Short Sword*, and the severed part flies off in an arc.
The Swordsdwarf strikes the Mayor in the left upper arm with his *Iron Short Sword*, and the severed part sails off in an arc.
The Swordsdwarf strikes the Mayor in the right leg with his *Iron Short Sword*, and the severed part sails off in an arc.
The Swordsdwarf stabs the Mayor in the lower body  with his *Iron Short Sword*, tearing the guts.
The Swordsdwarf strikes the Mayor in the left leg arm with his *Iron Short Sword*, and the severed part sails off in an arc.
The Mayor retches.
The Mayor bites the Swordsdwarf in the head, through the *Bronze Helm*.
The Mayor latches on firmly.
The Mayor shakes the Swordsdwarf around by the head, and the severed part sails of in an arc.

[Nexaduro]

Goblin Master Thief showed up in the meeting hall on a busy day, with just about the only dwarf there being a novice Planter and her newborn.

He stabbed her a few times. His knife got stuck in her shoulder. Then she broke every bone in his arm, punched him in the liver, and walked away as he vanished under a writhing sea of puppies. He bled out in seconds, with a half-dozen little dogs hanging from his throat.

I don't think she ever had that knife removed.

[nate.219]

In the year 266 a horrible beast enters the top cavern level. His name is Omstu, an enourmous one-eyed, fire-breathing pterosaur with jagged grey scales and black wings.
The order is given to seal the entrance to the caverns but there are too many dwarves trapped in lower caverns and if the fortress is sealed, they will surely perish in the
burning fires of Omstu. The militia are ordered into the caverns to protect the dwarves trying to slip from the lower cavern levels into the main fortress.
Omstu occupies himself with destroying a table while the dwarves escape to the relative safety of the fortress. As the last of the dwarves are escaping into the fortress
the militia are told to fall back. Omstu decides that this would be a good time to charge. The militia are running to the fortress but the beast is too fast, they
would never make it. Suddenly, Fath Uzollektad stops and faces the oncoming beast to buy the rest of the militia enough time to escape. He charges head on through the
firery breath of Omstu. Burning alive, Fath, duel wielding an iron warhammer and a steel battleaxe continues to fight Omstu until the beast manages to clench his
jaws onto Fath's arm and violently shake the dwarf around. Fath's arm holding his battleaxe and shield is torn off and he is sent spinning through the air until he
collides with the wall. Fath enters a martial trance and manages to climb onto the Omstu's back with one arm and bite his right wing. Omstu manages to knock the,
(!!still burning!!) crazy dwarf off his back and proceeds to bite off both of Fath's legs. Fath, lying on the ground, with nothing left but a single left arm punches Omstu
in the skull fracturing it and slaying the giant forgotten beast. Fath then manages to, get this, STAND UP, walk over to a barrel of dwarven wine to have a drink,
but as he gets close to it he sets it on fire and gets caught in a burst of boiling Dwarven wine and bleeds to death! Omstu's remains were made into soap and a legendary tomb
was made for Fath Uzollektad, the slayer of beasts.

tl:dr Dwarf charges at a firebreathing FB and gets all limbs ripped off bar his left arm then punches he beast in the head killing it.

[flame99]

The first time I managed to actually get an ambush, four goblins clad in full iron wielding whips charged into my fortress, danced nimbly around every rockfall trap, slaughtered my military, killed almost every dwarf in the fortress, only to finally be stopped by a child with a broken right hand, both arms broken, and both legs broken. He bit the throat out of every one of them.

[Broken]

An invasion of flame demons melted a whole level of my glaciar fortress, causing it to cave in on the artic sea. That killed all but one of the demons, that escaped to the sea.

Then the ocean BOILED.

Shamefully, i could't see what happened next, because my computer was going to vaporice itself as well.

[Ildac]

First post on the form... Might as well be here!

One badass moment involved a dwarven huntress and a weremonkey that had wandered close to my fortress.  Most of my dwarves decided to run away from it, but my brave huntress wouldn't turn her back on a threat to her home.  She took her crossbow and fired off a few bolts, grazing the monster before it grabbed her in its mouth.  She then proceeded to shoot it point blank in the head... while it gnawed on her.

Fearing she may be infected, she was imprisoned for the rest of her life... which sadly wasn't very long, due to a massive tantrum spiral.


In the very same fortress, I had a bit of a vampire problem.  I had the bloodsucker arrested once I finally discovered who she was, and she wound up joining in the tantrum spiral that would ultimately destroy the fortress.  The guards that tried to subdue her fell victim to the most unlikely weapon: A pair of pants.  Through the ribs.

I can only imagine that she rolled the pants up around her fist and punched as hard as she could.

[flame99]

most unlikelyDWARVERN weapon: A pair of pants.  Through the ribs.

FTFY
You should check out the story about the guy killing a BC with a fluffy wambler.

[MonkeyHead]

My armourer was issued 3 hammerstrikes for violating a production order and violating an export prohibition. These strikes angered him more than wounded him, and he had a tantrum. In this tantrum he started a fist fight with the mayor, injuring him enough to require hospital attention. As the mayor was carried to hospital, the tantruming armourer followed. He stomped right up to the bed where the mayor was being treated, and slammed his fist through the skull of the unconcious mayor, leaving his corpse in the hospital bed.

[Ildac]

most unlikelyDWARVERN weapon: A pair of pants.  Through the ribs.

FTFY
You should check out the story about the guy killing a BC with a fluffy wambler.

I've seen it.  That's a hard one to top.

[PDF urist master]

one of my cats dodged a forgotten beast for about a week, giving me enough time to evacuate everyone. the worst part was that the cat somehow survived his encounter with no injuries.

[Roostre]

Back in the 40d version days, I had moody craftsdwarf fail to get artifact materials in time and go berserk. He headed for the barracks and attacked a sleeping 7-year-old girl who had gotten both her arms broken in a previous incident. The girl woke up and defended herself... but lacking functioning arms with which to do so, she bit the craftsdwarf's upper body repeatedly until she tore apart the fat, then broke his ribs, then tore his heart. The berserk craftsdwarf never landed a solid blow on the child before he bled to death.

What'd the little girl do after that? She went back to sleep, right there on the bloodspattered bed she'd been attacked on. I checked her mood and saw it listed as "content." The only negative thought I could see on her was something about being woken up by a loud noise.

In hindsight, I should have made the child a bedroom to call her own... between the entrance and the rest of the fortress. Any invaders that showed up would've been forced to interrupt her nap, and suffer the dire consequence.

[_Ivan_]

I've had a few dwarf children rush into hostiles and die almost instantly. All except one. She rushed a group of goblins and incapacitated one who subsequently died of his wounds. Then lead them on a merry chase around the countryside and wounded another before the military arrived. Agile as hell and obviously strong. She must have had a steel toy or something to fight with. I never checked. Maybe it was just luck. Still, I was so amazed I made her head of the military when she turned of age.