Casually walk away, disengage from combat, etc.
If assaulted, damage enemy genitals.
Your magical power expended, you whistle and walk away, in the grand tradition of Saturday morning cartoons. Thankfully, your crotch-stomping skills are not called upon.
(Mod note: Your pool will fully refill at the end of next turn, assuming you continue to not be in combat.)
"Well now."
Research, then go grab Chanala
Your murder sense tells you that you need to head south, after a bit of magical demystification.
[Pot:5] Another of the now-familiar shimmering images. This one appears to be a pickaxe. How dwarven.
[Pot:4] This one's some sort of tool. Long handle, flat blade at the end. Digging tool or something?
[Pot:1] Nothing happens.
[Pot:2] A faint shimmering blob.
[Pot:3] Uh... it's a thin squarish shape.
You head to the southern room, note the spikes on the wall, and pick up the Amazing Torso Halberd.
[Str:4] Ugh... barely, that is. This thing must weigh 50 pounds- not exactly what you want in a weapon. It's not helpful that the torso part is still pretty much human sized. Maybe you could drop it on someone.
Kill...Fuzzy...
Smash Joe's chest in.
Whip Fuzzy with my 'hand'
[Joe Spd: 2+1]
[Fuzzy Spd: 1]
[Jack Spd: 4-1]
[Joe End:6-1]
[Joe Dex:1-1]
[Jack Dex:1]
[Fuzzy Dex vs Joe:6+1]
[Fuzzy Dex vs Jack:4+1]
Despite being a feeble old man with several broken ribs, Joe is on his feet before Fuzzy can finish him off. He and Jack both go for Fuzzy at the same time... and they both miss spectacularly. Their attacks are so god-awful that Fuzzy barely has to do anything to avoid them. If he hadn't been on the ground, he could have easily countered both of them at the same time. Joe has gone down again after his terrible attack, so Fuzzy goes for a stomp.
[Fuzzy Dex:6+1]
[Joe Dex:2-1]
[Fuzzy Str:1+1]
[Joe End:2-1]
Joe is far too stunned to avoid the attack in any way, but Fuzzy, despite his excellent aim, only delivers a light thump. If he hadn't connected directly with a broken rib, Joe wouldn't have noticed. As it is, it still drew a howl of pain.
Since Derek doesn't have much to defend himself with and is certainly not very strong on his own, he picks up the wand. It looks quite nice anyway, and it might help him along with the magic book, right? Then, not forgetting about the magma, he then quickly runs back the way he came. Magma is dangerous no matter what position it is in, and somehow he doubts floating lava stays that way for too long.
You grab the wand, and are pleasantly surprised when no horrible traps pop out and kill you. You beat a hasty retreat to the bridge, and examine the wand. It’s about eighteen inches long with a felt grip and crystal tip, and it’s covered in burn marks, scrapes, and unidentifiable stains. Despite all this, it is clearly solid and functional, and looks to remain that way for quite some time. Something tells you that, whatever it is, you don’t think anything in the book could produce something like this.
Huh.
Be a very effective weapon, hope for untransformation.
You feel a pair of hands grab your shaft, and you are wielded. Let's hope you will be thrusted into many unsuspecting men.
Your attempts to deactivate the transformation prove fruitless. Uh oh.
Err, get out?
The howls of pain are your cue to leave, so you head back to the spike room. Passing through, you study it in greater detail. Hmm... yeah, those are nasty looking spikes. You don't think you could get one off without a hacksaw, and even then the angle would be tricky. Putting them all on that wall must have been time consuming as well.
Beyond the spike room, you meet Derek coming out from the far side of the bridge, and stopping on the west side to examine whatever it is he's holding. Examining your surroundings, you admire the fine workmanship on the bridge. It would take some serious force to do damage to it... though with railings that low, even bad footwork could send you over the edge. There's a breeze coming through this room, but not so much that it would affect a bowshot, for example.
Your curiosity sated for now, you attempt your magic word.
[Pot:5] Several bars of silver form out of the air and clatter heavily to the ground.
Scapheap: Jack - Northeast side, Grand Room {Left hand is foot-long bone whip, tourniquet on stump}
Xantalos: Xantalos - North side, Grand Room (2/6 Pool) {Ley lines on body}
Derm: Derm - East side, Spike Room [Chink the Halberd]
Chink: Chanala - East side, Spike Room (Is just a torso, which is a halberd) [Wielded by Derm]
Tiruin: Myra - East side of bridge, Bottomless Pit
Lasla: Derek Grimdur - West side of bridge, Bottomless Pit [Wand]
FuzzyZergling: Fuzz - Northeast side, Grand Room
Remuthra: Joe Bridger - Northeast side, Grand Room {On ground, ribs broken, in pain (-1 next turn)}
If there is anything I can say about the original perplexicon and, it seems, it's new incarnation, it's that it seems tailor made for dick jokes.
Good thing I'd never stoop to that level. Oh wait.