TOURNAMENT 1!
Due to the odd number of rappers this time around, there will be three battles in the first round and one of you lucky bastards will get a Bye and automatically progress to the second round. That rapper has been calculated as...
LordBucket.BATTLE 1:
CHEESECAKE
VS.
MAXINUM MCDREICH
BEGIN!
So, I'm fightin' Maxinum McDreich-ah?
I'mma put a smackdown on this fake-ah!
I got's more balls than a Lake-ah!!
Dreich, ya better prepare yo'self against yo make-ah!
Ya better watch out,
cause this cake's out the oven!
Now baby, don't pout,
cuz I'mma give ya my lovin!
Now I'm done,
give Dreich my regards.
I've made my fun,
against this big tub of lard!
Cheesecake: The first three lines of the first verse are solid, calling him out and following up by using the hyphen trick to accentuate rhymes. They come to a satisfying conclusion with a reference/pun that's very reminiscent of Nas's
Halftime. (
Atlanta ain't Brave-r/ I pull a number like a pager) However, the fourth line breaks up the rhythm; it would have been a nice verse sans that.
Second verse opens with a nice two lines, but the final too seem weirdly intimate. "Baby?" "Lovin'?" Are you going to kiss him or something?
But the third verse manages to catch a recovery by sending Maxinum off with a fat insult.
So uhh... much harder like this that's for sure, but was fun. Think I'm in for an early exit...
I’m facing food on my rapping debut?
That stinks like Pepe Le Pew
It’s the cheesecake I eat when I’m bored,
Somehow he thinks he’s the rap battle lord!?
Newsflash, you’re up against a human being.
So you’d better listen to my decreeing:
That this big cheese, will beg on his knees,
as this win I seize, with contemptuous ease.
Hey guess what! You’re from a cow!
How udderly useless do you feel now?
Go back to the fridge, where you belong.
My raps are way too hot to match in song.
You have been measured and you have been wheyed.
And too much attention to you has been paid.
This is a rap battle, not a baking match.
Though I judge that you came from a bad batch!
Maxinum McDreich: Opening up with a Loony Tunes reference, alright, I see how it is. Yeah, calling him out on being food, good stuff, alright...."As this win I seize, with contemptuous ease." Oh, antiquated speech pattern out of nowhere. Hm. This is why a lot of rappers often exclude articles and prepositions in their raps, as it would help out the flow in this case. This part could have been improved. (Something like, '
Win, I seize/Contemptuous ease/nigga' please!')
Haha, that pun, nice opening. Differentiating between hot and cold, okay. Another dairy pun. And then another food joke. Okay, it was funny and all, but I'd like to see some variety. This is the same reason I thought Eminem's cover of
Hit Em' Up wasn't that good, because all his disses throughout consisted of "YOU'RE FAT AND GAY AND FAT AND GAY AND FAT-".
WINNER: CHEESECAKE.
Short, sweet, solid.
BATTLE 2:
GAMERLORD
VS.
MCCLAY!
PONIES AND PENGUINS, LET'S WRECK THIS!