MATCH 2!
DAVETHEGRAVE
VS.
LORDBUCKET
IT'S ALL ON THE LINE MOTHERFUCKERS!
Alright Arlight.
Dave has resurrected,risen from the grave he has protected.
These sick rhymes I have ejected. These bars I have erected. The ones that TCM inspected.
Your grave has been dug, why don't you hop on in, and binge watch.
Your last moments as you jump right in.
We got this wannabe pony bitch, trying to take the rap throne.
You're rhymes stink worse then the bodies I've piled up in the zone. (<--StalkerReference)
ABAB Tearing through ya like machine guns.
Maybe if you where better, and it wasnt so easy,I could actually have fun.
But nope, 15 minutes is all it takes finish you.
You're not a horse.Your raps stunk so bad they gave you the swine flu.
I'll eradicate you. Chain you up and emancipate you.
It's so easy because i'm the mystical rap Guru!
Reality check, look down in your pants, you've got a dick.
Your not a gay prancing pony, nice try, slick.
Take off the crown, pony boy. You're gone with the wind.
Ill drop this burning lyrical burden on your back, and win.
I dont have a problem lassoing your neck, and snapping it.
Dude, your rhymes are as weak as Eric Clapton is.
My verbal assault is powerful, no need to get defensive.
I know when you started reading this, you got pretty apprehensive.
But its alright man, you can I'll chill when Im done.
Because this your torture, and I've just started the fun.
Not done, I bet you wish it was "Celestia".
Dont worry about it, I've already bested ya.
But I'm down to rap again if worked up the flow.
If you're gonna try to beat someone, stick to the cheesecake yo.(<-- Reference to the picture she posted.)
Intro Verse: I like the first two lines, but Dave could have left off " The ones that TCM inspected.", since that broke off the whole flow. The next two lines are...suffering from Waka-Flocka syndrome. If you don't know what that, all you need to know is that it's not good when it comes to rhyming.
Second Verse opens up with a reference to Stalker. Hey, I heard of that game! Hooray! Third line is a cool meta-rap-reference but the following line includes "and it wasnt so easy" where it wasn't needed. I really hope these unneeded and detracting extra lines aren't a trend in this rap...
I got excited for the Third Verse just because it reminded me of some Cypher lyrics I really like.
("You mortals don't want combat, I'll block and finish ya'." - Driicky Graham) But the second line, how does the stankness of one's rhymes get you the swine flu? Something like "suck" or whatever might work better, as it would make a bit more sense. Anyways, the last two lines manage to help Dave out a little anyways.
Fourth Verse is composed of two lines about how LordBucket isn't a gay pony because he has a dick. Wut.
Fifth Verse; now here's the Dave I remember! Even if he calls LB a pony which goes against his last verse, he does manage to drop a good flow, a death threat, and a diss! Well, Eric Clapton isn't weak, but he doesn't have street cred, so I'll give him that.
Sixth Verse is just straight up rhyme and flow, rhyme and flow. Okay!
Final Verse's two first line doesn't make total sense, but the follow-up finishing line is good enough for me to look past that. And then the finisher is a shot at LB and Cheesecake simultaneously! Damn!
Let's see the response:
Finisher
I think it's time, for us to finish this,
Dave's just a human. Helpless, and innocent.
As princess and Goddess, noblesse oblige
Hear me out, listen to me please:
The sun in the sky moves, at my whim.
I'm eternal Goddess, and I know CHIM.
Like my mane, I'm formless and ethereal,
Can't stab me, can't shoot me, I give you your burial.
Ponies and humans, listen up, hear me sing
Here in Canterlot, I own everything.
I'm so rich, I wear gold on my feet.
My rhyming's so awesome, I can't be beat.
Canterlot castle, is such a lovely sight,
Poor little Davy, is just a parasprite.
Chained in a cave, struggling to live.
My heart reaches out, what must I give?
It's not his fault, he's a dumb biped.
Probably stupid just 'cuz he's inbred.
Stuck in a land, with murder and larceny,
Unlike Equestria, where we live in harmony.
You say the bucket bitches all hate you.
You're an underdog, so they berate you.
But here, little human...I forgive you.
Despite all your failings, I love you.
Comments
So...obviously I decided to try something different. The basic themes at work here are "I'm better than you, you suck." and "But, because I'm better than you, I'm going to do the right there rather than just destroy you." If I'm claiming to be Celestia, then I have to live up to that. Not going to explain every little thing this time, but here are a few of the less obvious references that might otherwise be missed:
I think it's time, for us to finish this,
Dave's just a human. Helpless, and innocent[1]
As princess and goddess, noblesse oblige[2]
Hear me out, listen to me please:
The sun in the sky moves, at my whim.
I'm eternal goddess, and I know CHIM[3].
Like my mane, I'm formless and ethereal,
Can't stab me, can't shoot me, I give you your burial[4].
Ponies and humans, listen up, hear me sing
Here in Canterlot, I own everything.
I'm so rich, I wear gold on my feet.
My rhyming's so awesome, I can't be beat.
Canterlot castle, is such a lovely sight,
Poor little Davy, is just a parasprite[5].
Chained in a cave[6], struggling to live.
My heart reaches out, what must I give?
It's not his fault[7], he's a dumb biped.
Probably stupid just 'cuz he's inbred.
Stuck in a land, with murder and larceny,
Unlike Equestria, where we live in harmony.
You say the bucket bitches all hate you[8].
You're an underdog[9], so they berate you.
But here, little human...I forgive you.
Despite all your failings, I love you.[10]
[1] Luke 23:34 is basically what I'm going for here. "Forgive him, he doesn't know any better." This establishes a theme that is reinforced by [6][7][8][9] below, confirmed by things he's said himself. In the previous round he whined and complained that things weren't his fault. And they're not. He's not the one doing these things, because he's not the one in charge of his destiny here. He's helpless and innocent, he doesn't know any better, so forgive him.
[2] http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Noblesse_oblige
[3] http://www.uesp.net/wiki/Lore:CHIM
[4] Continuing with the theme from the previous match, I won't be the one killing him. He can't hurt me, and I'll outlive him. So I'm going to be the one to bury him.
[5] Don't feed the parasprites
[6] From the previous battle, he's a kobold in a cave...but with the theme in this battle of "he doesn't know any better" I'm also invoking the http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Allegory_of_the_Cave
[7] From his second verse in our first fight. If the guy is going to say that he's an underdog and everybody hates him and whine like a little girl that it's not his fault and that he's not the one making these things happen...hey, I won't argue with that.
[8] From his second verse in our first fight.
[9] From his first verse in our first fight.
[10]a) http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=love%20and%20tolerate
[10]b) Nas vs. Jay-Z : Ether: "What's sad is I love you cause you're my brother"
Opening Verse drops on with some flow, tight rhymes and references! Yes, that's what I'm talking about!
Second Verse continues the momentum of the first one, piling on with an Elder Scrolls reference no less!
Third Verse is straight up classic braggadocio. Looks like Celestia is channeling Jay-Z here.
Fourth Verse is a subtle reference to calling out Dave on being a troll, along with Plato's cave and all that.
Fifth Verse involves naming Dave out to be inbred. I don't understand why more rap disses don't involve accusations of inbreeding. Oh well, haha~. And an insult to his hood. Well, his hood is Earth, but still, boom.
Final Verse reminds us that Celestia is still a kind, caring princess. Who also will kick your ass. But finishing on an Ether reference? That's the shit burns through your soul.
LORD BUCKET
LB brought the flow, the rhymes, the references and some new-found knowledge. A great Tournament finisher.
That concludes the first Bay12 Rap Tournament! But don't fret, the Second will start up shortly!
Also, I have a new idea for the next Championship Battle. What if I selected a Rap Beat for the Finalists to rap on? It would act like a metronome or timer, allowing each party to flesh out there rhymes on something audible that everyone can listen to, and would make it easier for me to judge flow. Plus, I think it would encourage creativity and new styles. What do you guys think? 
Author
Topic: The Bay12 Rap Battle League; The End (Read 17394 times)