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[Xantalos]

Fine, we'll only sell nonpartymember kobolds.

[Harbingerjm]

You monster.

[Xantalos]

You monster.

Why thank you! Been a while since I've gotten that remark.

[Weirdsound]

"You want restraints, not sedatives. The slave drivers and fetishists who buy such things prefer them alert, healthy, full of life, and squirmy. You transport them awake so you can see they all get their feeding and workouts in.

Just get a wagon, something to pull it, some locks, and a bunch of steel chains. You'll be golden."

[Xantalos]

We'll have to get to work on that, then.
Oh, and don't mention this to the paladin. Y'know, follower of the god of Good and Charity and all.

[Weirdsound]

"We'd need to get some more people to be in on the plan then. I'm the breaking and entering type of businesswoman. There is no way in the name of the Princess I can drive Kobolds all the way from here to the elves, goblins, or fey without a few co-conspirators."

You monster.

"I kno, rite? Koboldez shud be hazing slavs, not being slavs." -2 Chemestry between Xantalos and Fig-Gnasher. +2 Chemistry between Harbingerjm and Fig-Gnasher.

[Weirdsound]

Prelude: Storming the Castle

Turn 9

Okay. I have a bit of time while I wait for my friend Kuji to roll up some stuff for my other game, so I genned up the battle. Things will still be in slow motion mode for a bit though.

*Ahem* You find four Cutebolds in the room. Two of them are wearing the dog-skull helmets that signify they are Cutebold Mages. I guess now would be as good a time as ever to explain the mechanics of magic.

-Spells are tougher to cast, because you only get so many per dungeon, and they trigger Attacks of Opprotunity if some fool is right up in yo face.
-Spells are easy to hit with. Most spells hit automatically. Some of the more powerful and otherwise broken spells will require an attack roll or allow for a save. To make a save against a hostile spell you must roll higher than (12 + The casters current attack bonus) on a roll of 1d20 + Your current AC - 10.
-Spells can be counteracted by defensive casting. You can cancel out a range spell fired at you by spending the use of one of your ranged spells. You can cancel out a touch attack spell aimed at you by spending a use of a touch attack spell. You can cancel out an Area of Effect spell by spending the use of one Area of Effect spell. You can cancel out a debuff spell by spending the use of a debuff spell. Summoning and Buff spells don't target foes, so foes can't usually cancel them out. Canceling out a spell this way is a free action, but it provokes Attacks of Opprotunity.
-In general this means that dedicated mages are a huge threat at range to anybody other than another dedicated mage, but get in trouble when a decent melee character gets in their face.

"Yikes. And I only have one spell I can counter with!"

"I can dodge one spell... per dungeon..."

Then you ladies had best hope the players deal with those mages right away. Since all the Cutebolds look kind of the sameish, I will clarify that the mages are the ones furthest to the north and south, and the one on your side is with the rest of the party.

"On dat noot, I can haz betrays nao?"

Nope. Your Loyal Kobold ability fails to activate, as does Albus' Hunting power.

"Fcuk. Dis wud have ben gud opprotunity for dat."

"Can you players please pull an Amelia on this turd? Pllleeeease?"

"What, pray tell, is an Amelia?"

"Something the players can do to make me very happy. If it happens, you will know."

"duz it involvez gibbing Fig-Gnasher presents? Or kissypoos? Or hugz?"

"It may very well involve 'gibbing' you. One can only dream, Kobold Scum."

---

Party Stats:

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Name: Quigleyurk-the-Jobfic, ov-Zantmydsawp 'X' *Current Main Character*
Race: Halfling
Level: 4
Survive 1 more combat encounters to level up!

HP: 14/14
Movement: 4 meters per round (Currently Using Albus' Movement)
Weapon On Hand: Dwarven Shortsword (+5 Attack Bonus, 1d10+3 Damage)
Ranged Weapon Readied: Crossbow (+3 Attack Bonus, 1d8+2 Damage, 20 Ammo, Must be reloaded)
Armor: Halfling Sized Plate armor With Shield (AC 16)

Other Items:
Steel Shortsword (+4 Attack Bonus, 1d8+1 Damage)
Dog Leash
5 days worth of halfling sized meals

Abilities:
Divine Dog-Rider: You and your gear are never burdensome to a properly saddled and friendly riding dog.
Chindook’s Dungeon Sense: Once per dungeon you may choose to reveal a Treasure Trove, a Recruitment Chance, or a Bonus Boss on the Dungeon Map.

Spells:
Lesser Healing (Melee Range or Self, Heals 3d6+2 HP, 2 uses per dungeon) 1 Left
Holy Fireball (6m Range. Inflicts 2d6+1 Damage, 2 uses per dungeon) 1 Left
Summon Lesser Holy Beast (1 use per dungeon)

Chemistry:
GreatWyrmGold +2
scapheap +2
IronyOwl +7
Xantalos +4

---


Name: Gladys Whisperer
Race: Fey
Level: 4
Survive 3 more combat encounters to level up!

HP: 11/11
Movement: 6 meters per round
Weapon On Hand: Fey Shortsword of Chaos (+4 Attack Bonus, 1d8+1 Normal Damage and 2 Chaos Damage)
Armor: Quick Reflexes (AC 13)

Other Items:
Black Cloth Outfit
Potion of Invisibility
Enchanted Fuzzy Pink Handcuffs of One Size Fits All

Abilities:
Target Vitals: Gladys threatens a critical hit on a natural 18-20.
Outwit Caster: Gladys automatically avoids the first hostile spell that is cast on her in each dungeon.
Dirty Rotten Thief: Gladys will steal an item or some gold from her foe on a 16 or higher melee attack roll
Fey Wings: A Fey can pass over any terrain unhindered, and may make an AoO aimed at her miss once per round of combat

Spells:
Corrupt (4m Range. The target must save or become a lesser chaos spawn. Corrupted creatures have a 50/50 chance of becoming temporary allies. Does not work on boss monsters. 1 Use per dungeon)

Chemistry:
None Yet

---

Name: Fig-Gnasher
Race: Cutebold
Level: 1
Survive 1 more combat encounters to level up!

HP: 7/7
Movement: 2 meters per round
Weapon On Hand: Cutebold Knife (+2 Attack Bonus, 1d6+1 Damage)
Armor: I ish too cute to make ded? Right? (AC 9)

Other Items:
1 Kobold Rations
1 Spare Cutebold Dagger
1 Stone of Chaotic Evolution (Use on a level 6-9 Character. That character instantly gains a level and a new chaotic flavored form)
1 Godhood Ballot (A character can use a Godhood Ballot to vote for any player he/she has 10 or more chemistry with to become a god. A player obtains godhood once three ballots are cast in his or her name)
1 Seal of Authority (Can be used to recruit an adjacent enemy of the same race as the user who is also 2 or more levels lower than the user)

Cutebold Wardrobe (Tier 6 Loot Set)
2 Cutebold Loincloth

Nuclear-Cutebold Gear (Tier 5 Loot Set, Heavy -2 Movement)
1 Uranium Chain mail Shirt
1 Uranium Short Sword


Abilities:
Opportunistic Attacker: When making an attack of opportunity, a Cutebold gains a +4 bonus to attack roll and damage
Cutebold Growth: Fig-Gnasher can become a Nuclear-Cutebold or Cutebold-Mage upon reaching level 3.
Loyal Kobold: Has a 1/6th chance of defecting to the enemy side at the start of an encounter against Kobolds of any kind. This ability will vanish when Fig-Gnasher gains 5 Chemistry with a player, or a teamwork level with another PC.

Spells:
None Yet

Chemistry:
GreatWyrmGold +2
Bunnybob77 +2
Harbingerjm +2
Xantalos -2

---


Name: Albus
Race: Canine
Level: 4
Survive 3 more combat encounters to level up!

HP: 13/13
Movement: 8 meters per round (Currently Ferrying 'X')
Weapon On Hand: Teeth (+3 Attack Bonus, 1d8+2 Damage)
Armor: Thick fur and swift reflexes (AC 14)

Other Items:
Dog Saddle
Dog Harness

Abilities:
Hunter: At the start of each encounter Albus has a 1/6 chance of finding a bonus foe. A bonus foe found this way is generally no more dangerous than the other foes in the fight, and drops cool swag when it dies.
Tracker: Albus has a 3/5 chance of being able to track any scent he picks up. The chance is lower if the thing you are tracking is taking active steps to avoid being tracked.

Spells:
Fangs of Butchery (For rest of combat +2 Attack Bonus, +1 Damage Bonus, and the Butcher's Touch buff to caster. 1 use per Dungeon)

Chemistry:
Dariush +2

Battle Map:

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

1 Meter = The size of X's Token on the map

Enemy Stats:

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Kobold Cutebold

A charming creature that loves nothing more than killing and eating halflings. It wields a fangs and a knife. It wears animal skins if anything at all. Please ignore my fingers on the pog, I photographed it myself.

Attack: +2 Base Attack Bonus, 1d6+1 Damage
Defense: AC 9, 7 Max HP
Opprotunistic Attacker: When making an attack of opprotunity, a Cutebold gains a +4 bonus to attack roll and damage

---

Kobold Cutebold Mage

A charming creature that loves nothing more than magicly killing and eating halflings. It wields a fangs and spells. It wears animal skins if anything at all, and a ceromonial dog-skull hat. It is attuned to the elements of water and air.

Attack: +2 Base Attack Bonus, 1d6+1 Damage
Defense: AC 5, 8 Max HP
Water Attuned Mage: A Cutebold mage takes half damage from the water element, and can learn two water element spells in a situation where he or she could learn one spell.
Air Attuned Mage: A Cutebold mage takes half damage from the air element, and can learn two air element spells in a situation where he or she could learn one spell.

Spells:
Air Missile (15m Range. Inflicts 2d4+1 Damage, 4 uses per dungeon)
Spawn-Water-In-Lungs (3m Range, Inflicts the drowning debuff, 4 uses per dungeon)
Cutebold Twister (Creates a 2m Blast anywhere in sight. Inflicts 1d4+2 Damage, 2 uses per dungeon)
Riverblade (Targets any weapon within 10m. That weapon inflicts two additional water damage for the rest of the battle, 2 uses per dungeon)

Dungeon Map:

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Map Key:
The brown boxes are rooms...
A room containing a sword in a stone alter is a Treasure Trove...
A room containing a purple eye is under the heavy influence of a chaotic god...
The lines show which rooms connect to each other...
The main character represents the parties current location in the dungeon...
The exit sign is the dungeon exit you are trying to reach

[/quote]

[GreatWyrmGold]

How does this sound for tactics: Quigleyurk and Albus charge down to the mage whilst shooting at the cutebold guarding him, alongside the rest of the party. Kill the mage, then worry about the others.

Quigleyurk: Shoot at southernmost cutebold.
Albus: Charge at kobold mage. Bite if it comes into range.
Fig-Gnasher, Gladys: Head south-by-southeast towards the mage. Attack if it comes into range.

[freeformschooler]

Still have no idea what is going on but love it.

[Harbingerjm]

"duz it involvez gibbing Fig-Gnasher presents? Or kissypoos? Or hugz?"

It does not, but I can give you hugs anyway, you adorable little malevolent sadist you.

[GreatWyrmGold]

I doubt it, but if we are capable of physically interacting with characters, let me know so I can retroactively smack the Mary-Sue-Parody we had in our party.

[Weirdsound]

"duz it involvez gibbing Fig-Gnasher presents? Or kissypoos? Or hugz?"

It does not, but I can give you hugs anyway, you adorable little malevolent sadist you.

"Tanks. U can alzo maek me happies by not reminding da otha playerz dat thar ish anothor maegik dood to da north. I cud even reach him, but if I doez he cannot haz blast mastah without me usin mah supah sneekish cutebold opprotoonity attak on him."

[Dariush]

Let's use Fig-gnasher to cause them to waste their spells on him. It's not like he's useful for anything else.

[Lenglon]

Fig:move to the northernmost mage and attack as soon as able.
X: advance towards the southern kobold mage, but stay out of meele and ready your crossbow. as soon as that mage starts casting, shoot him to disrupt the spell.
Gladys: Move with X, if someone moves towards you and X, flank them and have a backstab party.

[Harbingerjm]

"Tanks. U can alzo maek me happies by not reminding da otha playerz dat thar ish anothor maegik dood to da north. I cud even reach him, but if I doez he cannot haz blast mastah without me usin mah supah sneekish cutebold opprotoonity attak on him."

Erm.
You're welcome, but they can hear you.