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Poll

How funny is this so far on a scale of 1-5?

5/5: All Seanbaby articles ever written at the same time
- 2 (14.3%)
4/5: Every update induces boisterous chuckles at least once
- 9 (64.3%)
3/5: Choosing the joke option on polls for no reason
- 1 (7.1%)
2/5: A nature documentary voiced by that one guy what sounds like Winnie the Pooh
- 0 (0%)
1/5: Casting a time-slowing spell and watching paint almost dry for all of eternity
- 0 (0%)
0/5: This games killed my parents and that's just not funny
- 2 (14.3%)

Total Members Voted: 14


Pages: [1] 2 3 ... 5

Author Topic: Roll to Be Below-average Adventurers [1.2: I cast "Orphans to Ashes"]  (Read 5155 times)

freeformschooler

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Roll to Be Below-average Adventurers


You all meet in a tavern-

Oh, damnit all to the Under Realm! The Gnome spilled his drink all over the bartender. Now she's asking you all to pay for her fancy dress wot he ruined. She had a date tonight, ya'see, and she's got a hankerin to throw you right straight out the window.

"That's like, the fourth time this month, Bobsy," growls the Half-orc Fire Priest. No one knows exactly what a Fire Priest is, but it's one of the those questions that is simply Not Asked.

Bobsy insists he's sorry, but an event in his tragic backstory has rendered him mute. The resident Gnome Sign Language Translator misinterprets his hand signs. Intentionally.

"Says he... meant to do that. Hates elf bartenders, see?" Bobsy shakes his head, wide-eyed and horrified, but that's one straw too many. A group of drunken men walk up, grab the poor lad and chuck him out the open window. Outside, a pack of ravenous, grinning orcs spots him on the ground. I mean, the tavern isn't called the Ravenous Orc for nothing, right?

Spoiler: Wot? (click to show/hide)

Spoiler: Rules (click to show/hide)

Spoiler: Character creation (click to show/hide)

Current characters:


Waitlist:

-Falsche Logik (Chink)
-Declan Brannon (SSG)
-Clair Helen Wind (scapheap)
« Last Edit: July 13, 2013, 06:30:57 pm by freeformschooler »
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Harry Baldman

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Re: Roll to Be Below-average Adventurers (0/5)
« Reply #1 on: July 09, 2013, 01:49:42 pm »

This looks awfully familiar to me for some reason.

Name: Yumkhan Yambik
Class: Ravenous Barbarian
Details: Yumkhan is a short, fat, rather brutish-looking young half-elf with teeth filed to sharp points and a rather prominent mohawk. He lugs around a rather large club and is dressed in common peasant clothes that may or may not have been relieved from some dead guy he woke up next to this morning. Brought up in the woods by orcish parents who found him after thoroughly robbing his birthplace (a solitary tree with about five elves living on it, if you need to ask) of both valuables and any present people's lives, he never really got out of the habit of ceaselessly gnawing on things despite his parents' attempts to correct such behavior. Eventually (took 30 years, actually) they gave up, and simply sent him off on the traditional orcish initiation ritual that involved obtaining as much loot as possible. Yumkhan never saw the point of that, though. He always prefers to be paid in food. Preferably exotic, unusual food. To this end, he has traveled through most of the local taverns of the nearest inhabited place in his holy quest. Today his journey ends, appropriately enough, at the Ravenous Orc. He hasn't figured out what he'll do next, but he supposes he might visit the next city's taverns if nothing exciting turns up.
« Last Edit: July 09, 2013, 02:11:42 pm by Harry Baldman »
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freeformschooler

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Re: Roll to Be Below-average Adventurers (0/5)
« Reply #2 on: July 09, 2013, 01:50:15 pm »

No reserves :P
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scapheap

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Re: Roll to Be Below-average Adventurers (0/5)
« Reply #3 on: July 09, 2013, 01:51:57 pm »

Name: Clair Helen Wind
Class: Sin Caster
Details: I trained as a Sin Caster, a odd field of magic looked down on by the church because well, it in the title. The seven sins are my weapons. Before then, I was a hooker, no I don't focus on the lust spells, it the family business if you will. My mother and her mother and her mother all have been proud hookers, sure, not the greatest legacy, but we take what we can get.
« Last Edit: July 09, 2013, 02:01:01 pm by scapheap »
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You were planning to have a 15 year old magical girl kill Witches by drinking them under the table!? It's original, at least.
Morpheus, a magic girls game

Dermonster

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Re: Roll to Be Below-average Adventurers (0/5)
« Reply #4 on: July 09, 2013, 02:02:01 pm »

Name: Keddec Hauberkson, PALADIN OF THE BLOODY SUN.
Class: Bloodshaped Paladin
Details: The latest in the long line of the SOMEWHAT SHUNNED HAUBERKSON FAMILY. Keddec has set off in the ancestral task of further enhancing his families MILDLY DISTURBING fighting style. Upon his INEVITABLE success, he shall ascend to become the head of the family. 
But unitil such time has come, he seeks a WORTHY QUEST or even a MILDLY ADEQUATE one to hone his skills. FOR KING, COUNTRY AND FAMILY!
« Last Edit: July 09, 2013, 02:16:20 pm by dermonster »
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I can do anything I want, as long as I accept the consequences.
"Y'know, my favorite thing about being a hero is that it gives you all kinds of narrative justification to just slay any ol' jerk who gets in the way - Black Mage.
"The bulk of [Derm]'s atrocities seem to stem from him doing things that [Magic] doesn't actually do." - TvTropes
"Dammit Derm!" - You, if I'm doing it right.
Moved to SufficientVelocity / Spacebattles.

Remuthra

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Re: Roll to Be Below-average Adventurers
« Reply #5 on: July 09, 2013, 02:08:09 pm »

Name: The Illustrious Joe Bridger
Class: Persuasively Insane
Details: The Illustrious Joe Bridger was once just a simple blacksmith in a village. He was then drafted into the army and sent off to fight in the War of Supremacy. He had no real loyalty to the King, but drafts are rather mandatory, so he armed himself with a hammer and left his home. While fighting he was unsurprisingly knocked unconscious and captured by the enemy. They mistakenly thought he was important and offered to buy him off as a double agent for a massive amount of money. The Illustrious Joe Bridger accepted and left the army to live expensively with his new fortune. He adopted his title to reflect his new wealth. As he grew older, he became considerably less rational, and lost most of his skill with arms, but gained a surprising ability to seem reasonable even as he made increasingly less sense. Recently, his fortune finally ran dry, and he has been looking for ways to make easy money. This led him to this bar.

monk12

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Re: Roll to Be Below-average Adventurers (0/5)
« Reply #6 on: July 09, 2013, 02:10:10 pm »

Name: Alfred Lichenstein
Class: Enlightenment Knight
Details: Alfred Lichenstein belongs to a subversive group of chivalric knights dedicated to pursuing the lights of science and reason in an age of magic and mysticism. They maintain that magic is really just a form of science, and that anyone can understand it. This message is not appreciated by the various religious institutions and Mage guilds that rely on their exclusive nature to control the political scene. Alfred is a low-level agent dedicated to raising funds to combat the established world order. Because the Knights rely on each member's self-sufficiency, Alfred hopes to gain enough loot to rise to a position of prominence within the Knights. Soon he shall be as wealthy as any decadent bourgeoisie Mage!

NO EDITS FOR TIMESTAMP GOODNESS GO!

Powder Miner

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Re: Roll to Be Below-average Adventurers (0/5)
« Reply #7 on: July 09, 2013, 02:10:54 pm »

Name: One-and-a-half-legs Arthur
Class: Leg-a-mancer
Details: Arthur always had the strangest taste in magic. For example, rather than going for the fields of evocation, or say abjuration, he went for a body-conjuration. And the man always had a knack for specializing too much. As such, he wasn't even a full body conjurer, just a leg-a-mancer. Nonetheless, Arthur (at the time with two full legs) did manage to become a relatively successful mage. Things went rather downhill for him on his second attempted fight, though, against a mage: the mage casted a reflecting spell. causing Arthur to hit himself with a leg-a-mancy spell. Arthur lost the right half of his right leg, which he had to replace with wood (keeping his leg alive with leg-a-mancy) and became One-and-a-half-legs Arthur. He's trying for the glory days (aka, that time when he won one fight, his first) again, and thus keeps trawling this tavern for any chance of mysterious quests. What an attention seeker.
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Harry Baldman

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Re: Roll to Be Below-average Adventurers (0/5)
« Reply #8 on: July 09, 2013, 02:12:52 pm »

Oh hey, still made it despite the lack of reserves. At least I hope I did.
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freeformschooler

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Re: Roll to Be Below-average Adventurers (0/5)
« Reply #9 on: July 09, 2013, 02:15:35 pm »

Yep. Harry Baldman, Powder Miner, monk12, Remuthra, and Dermonster are in. Scapheap: sorry, but I was pretty clear about the rules on signups :P I'll be PMing everyone once I get your sheet stuff written up.
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SomeStupidGuy

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Re: Roll to Be Below-average Adventurers (0/5)
« Reply #10 on: July 09, 2013, 02:36:19 pm »

Yet another FFS game that I've missed the signups to. :/
Ah well, at least I'm the first (or second?) to hop on the waitlist.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)
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monk12

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Re: Roll to Be Below-average Adventurers (0/5)
« Reply #11 on: July 09, 2013, 02:40:07 pm »

Yet another FFS game that I've missed the signups to. :/
Ah well, at least I'm the first (or second?) to hop on the waitlist.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

If it makes you feel better, two people died almost immediately in his last one!

Tiruin

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Re: Roll to Be Below-average Adventurers [1.0: Starting...]
« Reply #12 on: July 09, 2013, 02:40:13 pm »

I will edit this with my sheet.

Timezones.  :-\
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SomeStupidGuy

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Re: Roll to Be Below-average Adventurers (0/5)
« Reply #13 on: July 09, 2013, 02:50:02 pm »

If it makes you feel better, two people died almost immediately in his last one!
Eheh, I remember that. A fine example of why you shouldn't go giving out your personal info/weird necklaces to little adorable looking things. It's always a bad idea.

Anyways, even if no one dies right away, it'll still be fun to watch. :D
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Your favorite pinko progressive nerd-gal. Probably.

scapheap

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Re: Roll to Be Below-average Adventurers (0/5)
« Reply #14 on: July 09, 2013, 02:53:27 pm »

Yep. Harry Baldman, Powder Miner, monk12, Remuthra, and Dermonster are in. Scapheap: sorry, but I was pretty clear about the rules on signups :P I'll be PMing everyone once I get your sheet stuff written up.
*Reread* That five line rule wasn't there the last time I look.

Am I on the waitlist or do I have to touch up my post?
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You were planning to have a 15 year old magical girl kill Witches by drinking them under the table!? It's original, at least.
Morpheus, a magic girls game
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