I'm taking a different tack with DF storytelling this time around. Not about any one game's events, but in the general universe. Specifically, Masterwork DF. 
Grief Counseling Among the Civillized Races: Advice on Consoling the Non-Human Bereaved
By The High Priests of the Imperium Capital Church of the One True God Priests the world over sometimes find themselves in the awkward position of ministering to those not yet of their faith. Those far from home, yet spiritually troubled, may take an any-port-in-a-storm mentality and seek advice from anyone in the priestly fraternity, regardless of what god the priest serves. Yet an imperfect understanding of cultures on either side of the equation can lead to even more distress
One of the most universal priestly tasks is helping sentient beings of Creation deal with grief and loss. This article will give priests in our churches an overview of the comparative grief cycles of the four reasonable, highly civillized races.
Refresher on griefGrief is unique for everyone, for every loss. This is as true for the other races as it for us humans. Death leaves things unsaid, and brings up old memories thought buried. Other losses or even impending loss threatens to tear away something we realize is deeply important to us.
All sentient beings go through stages of grief. Most have an initial shock and denial, and all must journey toward a form of acceptance or "moving on." However, there are many variations of emotions that beings experience in processing their grief. Scholars of the human condition and their counterparts among the other races have tried in vain to distill the other emotions of loss into easy stages and categories.
Many of the bereaved will hop back and forth and among certain emotions in their grief. Others have a natural inner strength that tempers their grief so they do not feel the stages so keenly. Some losses, such as a slowly dying parent, comes in bits and pieces so that the soon-to-be-bereaved experiences small bouts of grief over a long period. When merciful and final death arrives, a significant part of the process has already been worked through. The lack of grief on a prescribed "schedule" in such cases confuses both the breaved and their friends.
Just remember this:
Grief is unique. There are no true schedules or sequences a grieving person should be working through.
That said, however, there are things we priests can do to help our fellow beings accept and find meaning in loss at many common phases of the grieving process.
Shock and denial: There is not much a priest can do here on the initial discovery and reporting besides brace for the rest of the emotional onslaught and gently guide the survivors to seek the truth, however painful it might be.
Questioning: Here is the stage where priests of all faiths can shine. The bereaved is trying to figure out why the loss happened or is happening. Questions answered or not answered in this phase will color and direct the rest of the grief journey. Help the bereaved find truth and meaning to their loss in this stage.
Bargaining: This phase is far more common with impending loss, not in the aftermath of tragedy. People try to beg for the favor of whomever they think has the power to stave off the future loss, whether a god, their parents, or their lover who has just broken up with them.
However, in a world where dark mages can return the dead to a form of life, if an imperfect one, and where ghosts haunt the living, it is not uncommon for the followers of certain gods and certain versions of religions to try to appeal to their favorite deities to bring back the dead. Unfortunately, it takes great power and cost to bring someone back completely. We of the Church are not in that business, for many valid reasons.
Gently deny these bereaved such services, citing why. Sell them on the pitfalls of bringing the dead back to life, but do not stymie and block them more than that. These grief-stricken beings may not be thinking straight in the midst of their anguish. Do not be so harsh as to turn them against those of our faith, or humans in general.
Anger: Often the emotions come out not as tears, but as anger. Sometimes, they are angry at the departed for leaving them. Other times, the anger is turned toward themselves in the form of guilt for some action perceived to have contributed to the loss, or parting on a bad note. Or they are angry at some perceived cause outside of themselves, justly or unjustly. That often includes their personal gods, or, more generally, the universe.
Here, we must keep the bereaved from hurting others or himself. We must also try to help them gain a clearer, more objective understanding of the causes surrounding the loss. Above all else, we should try to keep them from believing the Creator, by whatever name they call Him, is an unjust god.
Anxiety and/or depression: Both relate to a concern over the future. The anxious bereaved worry over the future without their loved one, while the depressed bereaved despairs over their abilty to forge a new life without them.
Some scholars maintain that depression is an anger directed inward. Frustration mounts at not being able to get past whatever it is that they are "stuck" on, and the person shuts down even further, or lashes out at others.
In some ways, the bereaved has already accepted the fact that the loss happened. The difficulty is in finding a way to move on. Change is often difficult to accept; the changes that must come with the loss of a loved one are even more stressful, frustrating, and daunting.
Some will feel as though moving on means "forgetting" their loved one and what they meant to the bereaved. For others, the deceased played an important role in their life; the main provider for the family, perhaps, or a guiding force. A new reality without this person is a scary prospect.
This is another stage where priests excel. Show them ways to honor the dead: A memorial candle, visiting the gravesite, advocating for change to prevent the same tragedy, honoring their interests and passions in some fashion. Help them to remember the lessons the deceased taught them, so that the survivors can apply them themselves in their life. Nudge them toward constructive solutions.
Through these approaches and a lot of work within themselves, the bereaved will be able to finally find their way into the warm comforting light of the end stage, acceptance.
Race-specific notesThe above was a reminder of the general and common stages of grief experienced by many sentient beings, but mostly as observed in humans. Now we come to the more specific rules of thumb for dealing with the bereaved of the other races.
ElvesElves are the easiest of the non-humans to console. First, they mingle easily with humans, aside from disgust at how we take cold steel blades to trees instead of using nature magic. This makes them and their basic culture familiar to most priests.
Second, their closeness to nature gives them an easy and simple path to finding meaning in death: It is part of the cycle of life. Life must be destroyed and disassembled to make the building blocks for new life. The elf finds comfort in the knowledge that his fallen comrade's buried mortal remains are feeding a new sapling.
It is highly recommended for all priests to take a sabbatical at an elf retreat and deepen their understanding of this philosophy. We of the Church have been (somewhat rightly) accused of being enamored with doctrine. The elf strain of mysticism appeals to those who are more spiritual than dogmatic. Both spirituality and doctrine have their places in theology. Both should be known to the priest who aspires to minister to the full spectrum of beings in this world.
Yes, this recommedation is ironic. The elves are mystical toward nature in general, but are dogmatic about their hatred of cut trees. While at their retreats, attempt to make them a bit more understanding of our ways in that regard. We can find compromise while keeping our axes. Some woodcutters are replanting trees so the next generation will not have to trek far to find usable wood.
DrowsSurprisingly, many find the mysterious drow, dark in many senses of the word, to be almost as easy to console as elves. While they do have evil, malicious, or at least destructive gods, drows share one thing with their rumored cousins the forest elves: the philosophy that death is a part of the life cycle.
Of course, the drow take the dark flip side. Death means another soul for their dark gods, more flesh and bone for their arcane crafts. They still mourn the loss of companionship, and can be upset over the timing, but the death has a meaning, dark as it might be.
For those drow of a psychic and mystical bent, and are adventurous enough to venture out of their caverns, they may find comfort in communing with the spirits at the site of tragedy. Drow do not travel on the surface without a purpose. Usually, this means traders or a diplomatic delegation or some other meeting with the other races. Drow mourners are most often found visiting the scene of some ambush of their fellow drow traders and travellers, normally at night when the harsh bright light of the sun has vanished below the horizon. Some on this solemn pilgrimage have been known to quell the restless spirits of other tragic sites along the way, finding meaning in this associated purpose.
Do not miss a chance to engage in dialogue with an intellectually curious, philosophical, or priestly drow. You are bound to be challenged, fascinated, and rewarded for your efforts at understanding this dark culture.
DwarvesOur short, bearded mining friends are popularly described as having just two stages of grief: Anger, then acceptance. This, of course, is wrong. Dwarves have the same potential stages of grief as everyone else.
Dwarfs suffer
shock and denial. Often, when told their beloved cat is dead, a dwarf will snarl, "You lie!" and shove the messenger or unsheath a dagger. Keep them away from pointy objects and gently guide them into discovering the truth.
Dwarfs
question the reasons behind their loss like the other races, if with more cursing and more colorful epithets. Help them find answers as you keep them away from impressionable young children during this time.
Dwarfs might try to
bargain with their god of blood, Armok for the life of their loved ones. Armok is a god of blood and war, not resurrection. He has been known to grant metal, stone, weapons, and armor, not life. When he is seen as unresponsive, dwarves will often punch the idol in the nose. In dwarf religions, this is not seen as desecration or blasphemy, but as normal wear and tear.
Dwarven
anger is legendary. Be prepared to handle them when they unleash their grief as a torrent of rage. Direct them to a tavern full of drunk punching bags, wooden furniture to break, and bottles to smash. Quarries that employ dwarf miners have found similar success with a tantrum room: Sturdy stone walls, pedestals to push over, wood chairs, fragile clay or glass pots. Soothe them afterwards with their favorite drink, food, or pet animal if you are lucky to have it on hand.
Dwarves rarely show debilitating
anxieties. Rather, the dwarf is inclined to go try to do something about the subject of his fears. A dwarf who has seen too much tragedy might hoard weapons and armor, or vow to destroy every specimen of a creature who killed his parents. Dwarves who lost friends to winter hunger and dehydration may want to stockpile years' worth of food and alcohol.
This, at least, is a constructive response to their emotions. However, such endeavors can easily turn excessive in their paranoia or their zeal to face their fears. Acknowledge the truth behind their emotions, but advise a certain restraint. Rein them back into the realm of reasonableness and perspective.
Dwarven
depression is very visibly the inward anger sort. They are more prone to despair and suicide than the other races. Worse, they are more likely to lash out violently, taking some innocent souls with them.
On the other hand, a depressed dwarf can become inspired to create great works of functional art. The pride the dwarf takes upon completion of such work will sustain him until he finds a greater acceptance of his loss. If the dwarf has experience in a job that requires craftsmanship, endeavor to give him materials and tools for that job and whatever else raw materials you can spare.
You may just solve your church's eternal financial woes at the same time you bring him out of his despair. Entire exhibitions have been created around the strange juxapostions of materials, form, and imagery in these dwarf creations. Be warned, however, that if you cannot supply the materials the dwarf requires, he is liable to become an irrevocably insane and destructive dwarf, and will need to be put down to relieve him and you of his misery.
Remember, as human priests of the One True God, you are ambassadors of our faith, our imperial nation, and our race. Sensitive treatment of individuals from the other races in their time of need will go a long way toward improving relations among the nations.
-- end --
And yes, psychology fans, I did take some minor liberties with the "classic" stages of grief. It has flaws, anyway. Kubler-Ross formed her pioneering model by studying cancer patients in the late '60s. Some stages do not work as well for other types of loss, and her model was unfairly taken as gospel for ALL types of grief. Hope I didn't take too many liberties with the characterization of the main civs in MWDF.
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Topic: [Essay, Masterwork DF] Grief Counseling Among the Civillized Races (Read 1781 times)