So we had the Bay12 Space Program, where some enterprising fellows came up with a plan to colonize Mars. However, what if the goal wasn't to create a nation, but to destroy a nation? There was some discussion about how the US could be taken over by an armed rebellion, meaning there's people interested in planning to take over a country, but since making a topic about to take over the US would end up with us all on watchlists, let's not do that. Instead, let's try to take over a fictional country that's a mix of Oceania from 1984, Soviet Russia and all it's incompetence, and Belarus. Welcome to the
EXCEPTIONALLY GLORIOUS THEORETICAL PEOPLE'S STATE OF TEJEKOV, COMRADE!Climate is wet, temperature usually hovers around 6 degrees centigrade - 8 degrees centigrade. Situated between Russia, Belarus, and the Ukraine. Primarily consists of highly fertile farmland, swamps, and hilly steppes. It is 50,000km in size, making it approximately the size of Bosnia and Herzegovina. It is completely landlocked.
4 million. 24% consists of Russian extract, 12% Ukrainian, 7% Belarussian, 7% is a minority belonging to Tejekov (A rather downtrodden but not genocidally so tribe of pagans who immigrated to Tejekov from Lithuania after the pagan kingdom there collapsed), with the remaining 50% being native Tejekovans.
Communist dictatorship, Stalinist flavor. Ruled by Glorious Leader who is chosen by whoever assassinated the last Glorious Leader and took over. The Glorious Leader controls the Ministries, bureaucratic organizations within the government that are in charge of individual sections of the state. This includes the Ministry of the Interior (Primarily in charge of espionage), the Ministry of Positive Diplomacy (Primarily in charge of diplomacy and propaganda), the Ministry of Biological Investigation (Primarily in charge of hospitals, but it's secondary purpose is medical experimentation), the Ministry of Food Distribution (Primarily farming, secondary purpose is rationing food for the populace), the Ministry of Industrialization (Primarily factories), the Ministry of Adaptive Economics (Primarily for adjusting the economy, secondarily for shops), the Ministry of Martial Matters (Controls the military), and the Ministry of Watching Other Ministries (You can guess). The funding and political status between each ministry shifts wildly depending on how well they are serving the state. There is also multiple "sub-ministries" for less important matters like land ownership and crime.
There are two million in the military in reserve, with 400 thousand equipped and ready to fight. Tejekov has no Navy, and it's airforce is less maintained then the Army and consists of 210 Mi-24s, and 45 second generation MiG-21s, with associated air-force personnel for maintaining and piloting them. Equipment is generally Soviet surplus, with some outdated weapons from other countries bought on the black market. Every service has the primary sidearm of a Makarov, silenced if Special Forces. Grunt soldiers are armed with AKMs, Dragunov SVDs, PKMs, or RPG-7s depending upon their roles. They are also equipped with RGN handgrenades. Their special forces (Known as the Stalivolki) are equipped with AS Vals, VSS Vintorezes, RPKs, and RG-6s. Their artillery consists of BM-21 Grads, D-30 howitzers, 9K22 tunguskas and 2A36 field guns, of which they have 80 in working order, with 150 in storage and reserved. Their armored divisions consist of T-72As, BTR-80s, and BMP-1s, with 1010 in reserve and 1108 in active service. There are major military bases primarily in Orasularma, Gardai, Dymchasty, and Kanski, in order of size and amount of military bases. It is rumored Tejekov has possession of nuclear weapons, but it is dismissed primarily because if Tejekov had nuclear weapons, they would have fired them already.
Gardai is the home of the capital, Gardai City, and is the primary political area, with the largest population and quality of life (It manages to reach "3rd world"). Orasularma is the home of the military complex and is the primary focus for weapons development and army training. Dymchasty is the primary industrial area and is infamous for it's smoky skies and polluted lands. Kanski is the home of Tejekov's farms, and it's local abused tribe the Kanskians, with a reputation for being backward: it is said that people from Kanski can barely comprehend cars and treat them with both fear and respect.
Tejekov was first prized for it's fertile fields, but it was recently found to have middling quantities of oil (Driving the "Tejekov Rush" of the 1900s which ended badly when WWI occurred and the White Army fled to Tejekov for a last stand that did not end well for the defenders) and large amounts of materials suitable for constructing computer parts. Corporations are attempting to bargain for this, but due to Tejekov's hardline communist status this is impossible. However, there have been rumors of the Glorious Leader attempting to put in laws to allow for mining of these materials for corporations, at a fee greatly beneficial to Tejekov's economy.
Tejekov's economy is, naturally, communist. Specifically, Stalinist, with rapid industrialization and industrial farming, and collectivized farms and factories. Famines occasionally happen when the government cracks down on "Kulaks", which essentially means anyone who is in or near a farm and whom they don't like. Similarly, when a purge in the industrial sector happens due to "rapidly growing capitalism within the factories", it can also suffer. Tejekov has been known to fabricate it's economic status on official papers allowed to be read by foreigners in order to present a better image of itself (Due to an error, it was once making 60 quadrillion American dollars a year according to a paper released to the public), and it's generally assumed that Tejekov is a third world country in terms of economy. Tejekov, due to it's lack of modernization, is the biggest importer of corrective inks and erasers, and it's papers are often manufactured to be as thick as possible in order to withstand the layers of correcting fluid.
Tejekov is despised by most countries due to it's brutal dictatorship, Stalinist government, overly aggressive military, and it's lack of humility. It despises most countries back. The only reason it has not been invaded and burned to the ground already is because either nations attacking the other would be viewed as an aggressive action by either Russia or the EU and may provoke a war that would most likely spiral out of control. Specific stances on Tejekov include: the US believes it to be a possibly huge threat but is for now harmless (Tejekov thinks the US is a huge threat but may be harmless in the future), Russia believes Tejekov to be completely stuck in the past to the point of insanity (Tejekov believes Russia to be cowards who gave up way too early), China believes it to be too unstable to properly take advantage of (Tejekov believes China to be essentially alright, if too capitalist for their liking), and the EU believes it to be a complete annoyance and would not be as bothered by it if Tejekov was not right on their doorstep (Tejekov believes that the EU would be the first thing it'd attack as a starting point if they had the resources, money, or skill to do so). The only opinion shared is that Tejekov is full of valuable resources and it would be for the best if it was in [COUNTRY NAME]'s hands.
Tejekov's espionage efforts are divided between the Ministry of Watching Other Ministries and the Ministry of the Interior. The Ministry of Watching Other Ministries focuses on spies within the government, and the Ministry of the Interior focuses on spies within the citizens. The majority of urban and suburban civilian households have surveillance items in them, but the quality and quantity varies wildly (From highly sophisticated devices that are practically impossible to find to a tape recorder taped to the outside of an open window). It's been determined that up to 25% of the populace are implanted spies for either the Ministry of the Interior or the Ministry of Watching Other Ministries, and they are both the most regularly funded ministries, along with the Ministry of Martial Matters. Since both ministries are both massively bloated, their actions can be bizarrely precise and competent (Managing to actually steal highly valuable the US and ensuring they could not legally attempt to invade Tejekov for this) to incredibly imprecise and insanely stupid (Due to a clerical error supplying 500,000 Tejekovan rubles in American dollars to Rajshahi, India, rather then supplying it to Russia as bribe money due to them both starting with the same letter), which can be used as an advantage. However, it does vary, so it's not guaranteed.
Tejekov's populace is infamously cynical, but it can be riled up if you use the right methods and the right words. The military is fond of attempting coups, but the Military Police keeps them in line with carefully placed plants within the regular military in order to root out rebellion. The ministries are too paranoid of each other to attempt to collaborate, and individual attempts at rebellion are usually squashed by either the Ministry of Watching Other Ministries or the Ministry of the Interior. The regular people are a good start, but one must be wary of the Secret Police and their implanted spies who can detect rebellion. The Kanskians have practically no surveillance on them as they live wild, but they completely ban violence and will not accept any revolution except one with absolutely no killing involved. Tejekov is a smuggling hotspot, so it is easy to bring significant amounts of the material from the black market, meaning supplying a revolution is easy if you have the cash.
It is generally the first thought of revolutionaries to break into the Glorious Leader's palace and shoot him, which would end the revolution in victory fairly quickly and with little expense. However, this is easier said then done. The Palace is heavily guarded by Stalivolki, the Special Forces of Tejekov, who are highly trained and loyal. Sneaking is impeded by alarm and detection technology that is efficient and high-quality. It is surrounded by 10-foot concrete walls, that have turrets mounted on them that cannot turn around to fire upon the interior, with the only way in being a 7 foot metal reinforced gate controlled by a control panel accessed only by a random Stalivolki who has memorized the code and is secretly executed when his/her term of service is complete. Past the wall is armed patrols with guard dogs and tanks, with all the doors requiring electronic passcodes that will trip an alarm if you do it wrong, and the passcodes change every day and supplied only at the start of the morning to a select audience of soldiers permitted to enter the palace. Due to this, false alarms get common late at night when everyone's tired and wants to go home to drink themselves to death with victory vodka rather then work at this stupid job. If you attempt to break a window, an alarm will trigger. Inside the palace is regularly patrolled with Elite Stalivolki, and is divided between administration, guest bedrooms, the various ministry offices (With a private office for each minister with a bed and private bathroom), kitchen with live-in chefs to ensure loyalty, a servant's quarter, the Glorious Leader's home (With special office/study, living room, master bedroom, bathroom, and private library), and the Glorious Leader's panic bunker which has computers able to command the Tejekovan military from a secure position, and can survive nuclear, chemical, biological, and conventional attacks of varying degrees.
So, this is a discussion on how to perform an armed rebellion against Tejekov, or at least a war against it. You can discuss the political ramifications of such an action, the economic impact this would have, the strategics required to take over it, and the tactics of implementing operations against specific Tejekovan targets. If you like, you can also talk about how Tejekov could defend itself against this or what Tejekov's existence would have if it actually existed. Here's a few rules on what's allowed and what's not.
1. Keep it to modern (Meaning whatever time it is when you're looking at the clock) technology and weaponry, and before. Tejekov may be frozen in time in 1950s Russia, but that doesn't mean you should start using 80 megawatt plasma rifles from 2077. Keep it to modern and before, rather then going completely theoretical, as you could just say "It's so easy, just atomize Tejekov with a carefully placed meganuke that obliterates all of it except the valuable resources" and destabilize the whole discussion.
2. Keep it reasonable. Tejekov surrendering to the US and giving up all it's valuables to become a puppet state is unreasonable unless the US soldiers are currently sieging the palace and repeatedly bombing the country, and even then the Glorious Leader would be sulking all the way through the peace talks, while the Ministry of the Interior ignoring one implanted agent mysteriously disappearing is reasonable.
3. Make sure it's all in fun and jest, and don't get annoyed if someone says they have a better theory then you. Don't bicker, please. We're all talking about invading a fictional country with weapons and people we don't actually possess. This is not the right place to be serious.
4. Please vary it up a bit more then "I bomb the country to smithereens". With the power of the US behind you, you could easily take down Tejekov. However, why not try to figure out how to use other angles? All out-war is often a last resort. How would you take out Tejekov by only using words? Maybe even set challenges for yourself, like taking over Tejekov without needing to kill a single person directly or indirectly.
Everyone has practically infinite resources at hand, unless they want to limit themselves to specific resources. I'll be on hand to supply info about Tejekov if needed. This isn't technically a forum game, it's more like an extended discussion about a hypothetical scenario, so don't put "I move my squad into Kanski to take over the farmlands there" or try to sign up for this with a character sheet.
Author
Topic: A Guide To Taking Over Tejekov (Read 4408 times)