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[Urist McCyrilin]

And that is why you don't use a revolver!

[Lukeinator]

I was DMing for my friend who was an elven archer(hippie). We where exploring the ruins of an abadoned city trying to figure out what destroyed it. We had a wizard, a fighter, and an archer. We go into the room and there is a glass display case and a stone tablet. Our mage hets a lucky strength roll and picks it up. He tries to read the writing on it but can only tell that it is a map of the city. He hands it to the archer who puts the slab in his backpack. A few seconds later he falls over from the intense weight and is on the ground flailing his arms. He takes off the backpack, dumps everything out and pits it back on with his gear inside of it. He looks at the glass case reads a warning on it (which says do mot touch, explosive) he then throws a rock at it and when it doesn't explode he shot an arrow at it. The explosion tore the city in half destroyed the map and almost killed the entire party.

[Lolfail0009]

I was in a campaign (Dwarf hammerman) with a couple of friends (Elf thief and Human ranger. Wrong way round, if you ask me.). The elf jumped into a pool that he couldn't swim up, then when he breathed it in he died, but just became a blue ghost that could travel freely. He floated down to the bottom of the pool that opened into a room with a treasure chest. We all swam down to that room, and while I utterly fucked up bashing the lock off the chest (1/20 got my hammer literally embedded in my groin. Impressed the gorgon at the end.), the ghost was standing behind the ranger who was repeatedly shouting "SHOOP DA WHOOP" before the ghost phase-punched through his mouth from behind. (Amused the gorgon at the end.)

[Aptus]

Had my first session of a Neotech campaign a few days ago. I ended up with a character that is a professor in Genetics Technology while at the same time having a PSY rating of 3... out of 18... It basically means I am either shrubbery level intelligent or completely insane, or both. Anyways, the other characters of the campaign contacted me about trying to make sense of some incredibly advanced and incredibly illegal research data the netrunner character had pilfered and we ended up going to my office in the university. All of a sudden four SUV's filled with corporate security show up and start bounding towards my office.

Seeing as I am not the brightest of fellows (we came to the conclusion that I had gotten to my position in part by stealing research from others and from being protected by an older world leading professor that had taken me under his wing due to guilt from his failed experiments on me as a child.) I suggested jumping from the windows. Another character that had rolled himself a lowlife failed businessman with SEVERE alcohol problems took me up on that and tried to climb down, fumbled his climb check (think critical failure from D&D) and then fumbled his freefall check and ended up rolling terribly on the damage tables as he hit the ground.
At this point I pulled the fire alarm and tried to get us out by blending in to the crowd as the building got evacuated, only one of the other characters had rolled FOUR different psychosis and phobias during her upbringing, one of which was a fear of water, which meant that even the thought of a sprinkler system sent her into a panic and she bursted out like a bullet out of hell.

Both her and the drunkard managed to stumble themselves in the end to the gathering point and they blended in to the crowd of students only the drunkard, feeling brave decided to throw a knife at the one goon left guarding the SUVs and well... it didn't work out too well. The girl got captured and the drunkard got shot eight times and managed to overkill his Trauma bars by 35 points. (In Neotech you do not have hitpoints per sé, instead you have different metrics for how much Trauma, Blood Loss, Pain, Psychological damage and exhaustion you can take.) This guy had taken a hard fall, a shot to the leg followed up by three shots to various parts on the left arm, one shot on the right arm, one shot in the chest, one shot in the head and one shot straight in the spine.

Me and the remaining party member tried to get out more calmly but had to hide in another office as the goons came to search my corner office. Being stuck between a hard fall and three goons with mp5's we decided the better part of valor was fleeing. None of us had any combat experience, I was as I said an unstable professor and the other guy was a playboy, think bruce wayne without the batman.

We also tried climbing down the side of the building, we also fell, but luckily we both rolled pretty much perfectly on our damage tables and took just minor impact damage to our arms and legs and managed to get away.

TPK averted!

[Remuthra]

I want to start playing a tabletop RPG,
but i don't live in the U.S.A. Still, I managed to snag a free PDF, but it seems no-one wants to play. What would you suggest?

You can always play over the interwebs. There's fairly often a tabletop roleplaying group forming on Bay 12, if you just check the thread lists every once in a bit.

[tompliss]

depending on where you are, you may find a forum or a "RPG-dating" site where you can meet players around your area, too ^^

[Neyvn]

I have handed the reigns of DMing our Pathfinder games to one of my players, finally I can make a character and torment someone else...

I make a Gnome Stormborn Sorcerer named Roloninog, his original name was Rolonlingnonog but I dropped it after even I couldn't say it consistantly, BUT I am going to be changing it every now and then cause my Gnome is really Eccentric, each Night he will be changing his hair colour with Prestidigitation to something different, its currently Blue with streaks of White...

Using only Cantrips I have so far Knocked two Drauger unconscious by using multiple Mage's Hands to pick up Rubble and then catapult it directly into their heads (Mage Hand says that I must point at an object and sorcerers can cast Cantrips at Will. I have 10 fingers )
And also killed two more Drauger who were asleep with a Coup de Grace attack by once again using Mage Hands to pick up their discarded Warhammers and bludgeon them to death with their own weapons...

I have yet to cast a single 1st Level Spell in this game so far...

I also convinced our DM that due to being Stormborn, I should totally get an Electric Cantrip added by replacing Ray of Frost with something like Zap, he agreed then added the fact that it can do a 'Flare' effect if it hits... I was like... OK, and quickly changed Flare with something else from my spell list

[Mephisto]

depending on where you are, you may find a forum or a "RPG-dating" site where you can meet players around your area, too ^^

So you know some good sites for these?

I found my current group on Meetup.

If you find groups that don't specialize in what you like to play, join anyway. I joined a large group dedicated to either D&D or Shadowrun. On the message board, I found a thread for a smaller group that almost solely plays GURPS.

[freeformschooler]

Thanks, but I live in the world's "most dangerous city" (seriously). I don't really think meeting with strangers in RL would be the way to go... However, if you know one online, I would be thrilled.

There's always at least one running on our very own Forum Games and Roleplaying board. Recommend you check it out.

[Yoink]

Thanks, but I live in the world's "most dangerous city" (seriously). I don't really think meeting with strangers in RL would be the way to go... However, if you know one online, I would be thrilled.

Ooh, now I'm curious!
Is it... San Pedro Sula? According to a quick Google search that place is pretty scary.

Also yeah, FG&RP is a good way to go.

[freeformschooler]

Heck, I'd say join my D&D group, but our current campaign is a special brand of silly and offensive too dangerous even for this thread, so it's not for everyone.

[Mephisto]

depending on where you are, you may find a forum or a "RPG-dating" site where you can meet players around your area, too ^^

So you know some good sites for these?

I found my current group on Meetup.

If you find groups that don't specialize in what you like to play, join anyway. I joined a large group dedicated to either D&D or Shadowrun. On the message board, I found a thread for a smaller group that almost solely plays GURPS.

Thanks, but I live in the world's "most dangerous city" (seriously). I don't really think meeting with strangers in RL would be the way to go... However, if you know one online, I would be thrilled.

In that case...

The Giant in the Playground forums for just about everything but with a focus on D&D, Dumpshock for Shadowrun, the official Steve Jackson Games forums for GURPS, and many more. Most are play-by-post, but I'm sure there are at least a few IRC, Skype, or virtual tabletop games available.

[Knight of Fools]

Fear the Boot also has some forums for hooking up with local groups. Worse comes to worse, if you're desperate for a local group, you can hang out at local gaming shops. I've never seen one without a board for local hookups. Be warned that they don't tend to be the most stable of groups, but you might catch something good after fishing around.

[neotemplar]

<22:07:06> "Terry": If a kid is old enough to play D&D
<22:07:20> "Terry": A kid is old enough to experience a dolphin being strangled

This resulted from tonight's game of pathfinder.

Case in point summon monster I dolphin experiences a Choker's long reach.

[flame99]

<22:07:06> "Terry": If a kid is old enough to play D&D
<22:07:20> "Terry": A kid is old enough to experience a dolphin being strangled

...This deserves to be not just in your sig, but every sig ever.
Really, this entire thread has turned into a goldmine of siggable things.

On topic: I was GMing a one-person campaign for my father, and he goes to a city which worships Kord fanatically. The practical meaning of this is everyone and their dog is ripped and can punch a tarrasque in half. So, when he enters the blacksmith's shop, he begins hitting on the female orc that runs it. It was at this point that he heard from behind, "Ahem. I see you have an interest in my wife." He turns around, and sees a large orc unstrapping a battleaxe. He went through the rest of the game with a deep appreciation for "Dimension Door" scrolls.