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Author Topic: Jobs for Special Needs Dwarves  (Read 7221 times)

Gargomaxthalus

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Re: Jobs for Special Needs Dwarves
« Reply #30 on: July 04, 2013, 12:34:17 am »

The obvious solution is to create a squad of armless legendary biters. Picture Hitmonlee with teeth and a beard.

I feel like I need to somehow make this be a thing. The problem is that dwarves don't tend to use these unarmed skills (or even train or lead demonstrations on them) until they have enough skill... but I'm sure some Dwarven Science will make this a reality.

Simple, add a caste of armless Dwarves, done. ROFL
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Repseki

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Re: Jobs for Special Needs Dwarves
« Reply #31 on: July 04, 2013, 01:44:10 am »

No arms would make them unable to equip clothing or armor, wouldn't it? Then leading to some rather cranky dwarves.
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Veylon

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Re: Jobs for Special Needs Dwarves
« Reply #32 on: July 04, 2013, 02:12:21 am »

I second this. I usually just give hopelessly injured military dwarves the title of "Veteran" and let them hang round the meeting room, inhaling booze and exhaling stories.
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Harbingerjm

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Re: Jobs for Special Needs Dwarves
« Reply #33 on: July 04, 2013, 03:02:47 am »

Lycanthropy is a CURSE.  It is a BAD THING.  No one wants to be a werewolf.
Thousands of screaming teenage girls suggest otherwise!

No arms would make them unable to equip clothing or armor, wouldn't it? Then leading to some rather cranky dwarves.
Give their feet graspCrossbreed them with chimpanzees?
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anzelm

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Re: Jobs for Special Needs Dwarves
« Reply #34 on: July 04, 2013, 04:36:10 am »

Anyone ever used a paralyzed dwarf in the military? One of my best axedwarves got his lower spine broken in an ambush. Apart from moving around really slow, he seems to be doing fine.

It's a shame we dont' have dwarven battle wheelchairs.
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GrimDark_Majyyks

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Re: Jobs for Special Needs Dwarves
« Reply #35 on: July 04, 2013, 05:56:10 am »

Anyone ever used a paralyzed dwarf in the military? One of my best axedwarves got his lower spine broken in an ambush. Apart from moving around really slow, he seems to be doing fine.

It's a shame we dont' have dwarven battle wheelchairs.

One Minecart Ejected Axedorf Thingamajig coming right up. Project MEAT is underway.
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Loud Whispers

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Re: Jobs for Special Needs Dwarves
« Reply #36 on: July 04, 2013, 08:43:05 am »

I've never been on a date before, what should I be wearing? I know I'm supposed to act natural but I don't know what that means. I actually have no idea what looks nice on me now that I think about it, I really REALLY don't know what to wear. My last haircut wasn't that great but I didn't say anything about it and now I don't know if I look goofy. Should I wear contacts instead of glasses? How do you know if I am failing miserably? I'm not sure about smiling really, smiling with teeth exposed feels weird to me and I don't know that it is actually all that nice when I do it. Should I try anyway, lest they think I'm not interested? How long am I supposed to maintain eye-contact? When is it okay to look away? When does it become staring? What if I keep indirectly changing the topic by pursuing esoteric tangents that I find interesting and appear to be disinterested by way of bringing up things that seemingly are less and less related? Can I get pregnant from this?

How many dates are there supposed to be before we commence prankration?
Well, you blew it. Here I was preparing for mortal combat, and you gave some really creepy vibes. I was expecting sort of "death to the enemy" but you gave me indecision. 0/10 would not break spine

Broken

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Re: Jobs for Special Needs Dwarves
« Reply #37 on: July 04, 2013, 02:38:37 pm »

Just let him be. The poor guy will die anyway when all his clothes rot and he discovers that no one will help him to wear new ones.
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Di

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Re: Jobs for Special Needs Dwarves
« Reply #38 on: July 04, 2013, 07:55:54 pm »

Well it seems like opinions are divided here. How about we'll just have a little of both?
You see, he won't stop spamming handless errors when he is awake. So you'll just have to do something with him. Yet he is a decorated war veteran, so you can't simply pour magma on him.
So, select the hottest nurses in your entire fort, put the best meals near the hospital stuffed with masterwork bed and arrange him to be regularly bashed by glumpthrong or aluminium minecart. This way he'll spend the rest of his life lying on comfy bed being fed and washed by grateful dwarfettes by protecting whom he has lost his arms.
If you hadn't removed him from the squad yet, his armor should be still on him, which will allow more liberal minecart application on him. Also it would solve his clothing problems.
If he goes crazy, try caging him. They say dwarves feed caged berserks.
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itg

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Re: Jobs for Special Needs Dwarves
« Reply #39 on: July 04, 2013, 08:10:32 pm »

They say dwarves feed caged berserks.

I've had numerous dwarves die of thirst when they accidentally got caught in cage traps and I forgot to let them out, so I doubt that's true. I'm all for giving him a luxury hospital suite, though.

CaptainLambcake

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Re: Jobs for Special Needs Dwarves
« Reply #40 on: July 04, 2013, 08:47:03 pm »

I can't believe you guys!

This is a proud and noble Dwarf, a member of your civilization, injured in glorious combat in defense of your mighty fortress!  He should be honored, not treated as a training dummy, or bait, or anything else so demeaning.  This dwarf has been horrifically maimed in your name, and he should be treated with the respect that any veteran deserves.  I say he deserves his own massive room, tomb, and dining hall, as well as a trophy room with statues and slabs detailing each and every one of his kills (if any).

Honestly, I'm a little disappointed in all of you.  Cursing your dwarves with lycanthropy, purposefully injuring him to train your doctors...Have ye no honor? Have ye no sense of Dwarvenly PRIDE?!

i completely agree.  if they are injured serving you, they deserve good treatment.
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VerdantSF

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Re: Jobs for Special Needs Dwarves
« Reply #41 on: July 04, 2013, 09:04:41 pm »

Anyone ever used a paralyzed dwarf in the military? One of my best axedwarves got his lower spine broken in an ambush. Apart from moving around really slow, he seems to be doing fine.

Yup, a hammerdwarf of mine had the same thing happen.  These days she's primarily a trainer for new recruits.  She gets to fights really late, but she still lays the smackdown when she finally gets there ;).

callisto8413

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Re: Jobs for Special Needs Dwarves
« Reply #42 on: July 04, 2013, 09:32:50 pm »

Make him the Hammerer.  I've heard you should also pick somebody who isn't that strong or dangerous, otherwise they just go left and right killing people.  A Hammerer without hands would be the best one of all.  My Hammerers always end up fishing or something because I always pick somebody peaceful with no combat skills. 
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Thuellai

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Re: Jobs for Special Needs Dwarves
« Reply #43 on: July 05, 2013, 02:32:16 am »

One of my best military men right now has one foot.

Legendary Crutch Walker means he's always building attributes.

He's a terror with his axe.
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Button

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Re: Jobs for Special Needs Dwarves
« Reply #44 on: July 05, 2013, 08:43:50 am »

Just to clarify, the only dwarves I intentionally injure are Night Creatures and berserkers. And even then, only because the Dwarven Justice System is insufficient to protect the rest of the population.

I put dwarves into retirement only when they have lost the use of both hands (unable to hold weapons); both feet (unable to crutch walk); or in the case of dwarves who have to double-grasp their trained weapon, one hand. My usual retirement plan consists of disabling all labors except Mechanics* and inducting the Pensioner into the Dwarven Retirement Squad, a metal-armored squad armed with dual shields. It is honest work and a great service to the Fortress, which would otherwise have to send squishy, un-battle-hardened civilians to reload cage traps. Ambushers should think twice before attacking a brave veteran who has demonstrated his willingness to give his all in service to the Fortress.

Hammerer is a good idea, but one cannot Hammer full-time. Manager and Record Keeper are also good ideas, but I hesitate to make him Broker, as he has no points in Appraiser.

I wonder if Animal Trainer requires hands, after the initial taming?

Edit: Record Keeper confirmed to require hands.
Edit2: Animal Trainer confirmed to require hands, even when no feeding is required.
« Last Edit: July 05, 2013, 11:06:54 am by Button »
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