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[itisnotlogical]

Post a response to the one above you, and also a challenge to whoever shows up below you. Remember, no excessive profanity, no personal attacks, etc. etc.

First up to the plate is the one I'll eliminate
I'm a giant shark while you're tiny fish bait
Better swim fast or I'll eat you up slow
Just like Marlin's wife at the start of Finding Nem-oh,
Oh, did I stir some emotions?
Well I hope I made you feel sick with my psychedelic motions
Yo, you better get some antibiotic lotions
Cuz I'm infectious
Straight up viral with my crazy rhyme potions

[GreatWyrmGold]

You're not a shark or barracuda;
You are something more like food-a,
Maybe a bit of tuna
Or a little squirmy worm?

You cannot defeat my rhyming
Delivered with perfect timing
Oh, my rapping is sublime-ing
And now, friend, it is your turn.

[griffinpup]

GreatWormGold, what kind of name's that?
More like piss-pot yellow, and live fish bait.
I'll string you on up, get you hooked to my beat.
Then toss you in the lake, like some shizzy chum meat.

Look at this poser, thinking he's so great.
!@#$ing white trash, strutting down the street,
your lyrics got no rhyme, you music got no beat.
Your skills ain't better then a useless bag of meat.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

I'm actually really bad at this.  Also, posting multiple times is allowed, I assume?

[GreatWyrmGold]

((Who cares?))

You ignorant man with no sense of style,
Who could not hit the mark within a mile.
You dare challenge me?
Then we shall soon see
Who is the deer, and who the crocodile.
A wyrm is a dragon of ancient might,
From whom all Earth's creatures flee from in fright
Save for the foolish.
And I would bait fish?
Go hence, you half-breed; we can't stand your sight.

And as for the next to challenge me here:
I hope that my dominance is quite clear
In ways of rhythm
I can always beat him
For any morons who challenge me here.

[IamanElfCollaborator]

I'll try my hand.

GreatWyrmGold? More like GreatWyrmOLD!
You're nothing but a tool, your story full told
ElfCollaborator's in da house
I'll smite ya like a louse
If you think you can take me
I'll make ya flee
Scream for your mother
Run to your father
For the Elf has entered
And he ain't takin no prisoners.

[RangerCado]

What is this poor Elf?
Trying to pull oneself,
Away from all the right focus
Don't try that Hocus Pocus.
RangerCado on the scene!
Nothing in the lines between!
Stalking you from the shadows!
Just get out of here sows,
I can lay my claim
And take this lame
Old forest from you now,
Before your down!

Now come at me my friend
The lone wolf at the end
Think you can best me?
Well look at you just sipping your tea!

[scapheap]

Oh my, is that Hermione Granger?
No wait, it just the Ranger
I'm afraid at the end of this scrap
You'll see that I'm the real champ.
Come at me, take a leap
I'll simply leave you in a heap.
I'll take your blows on the chin
Then I'll shall take your skin
Wear it out like a new coat.
Man I wish I had a boat.

[IamanElfCollaborator]

Oh look it's Scap
Trying to start up a scrap
Lemme tell you this
However I take the piss
You can't beat Elf the greater
I'll simply laugh later
And let you know
How low
You are compared to me,
ElfCollaborator, the mighty

[TCM]

You name yourself the mighty? Shut it, whitey, shut it tightly/
You've got the rep of a paraplegic cat, so come and fight me/
Oh wait, ElfCollaborator, that's the Rap title you pick?/
You blow Goblin dick harder than fuckin' dynamite sticks/
If you comin' my way then you better bow down/ I'm the only king in this game fulla' clowns, that I'll break down/
So you copy my style, and I'll put my gun on the tripod/ cuz' there's only one of "I" here to stay, like a Cyclops/
Now your whole clique is slipping up like there's ice on the bridge*/ pull out my metal 9* and hit you all on the skull with my ridge/
Push my blade through your brain, leave your neck chained/every motherfucking pint of blood in your whole body is drained/
Decapitate your ass and leave your kufi* missing/then hit your momma' up so I can leave that pussy dripping/
Just slammed you with my hot 16*, "blaow!"*/check your name off the list, who I gotta' kill now?/
EAST-SIDE!

Spoiler: Terminology Guide (click to show/hide)

Bridge: Not only a literal icy bridge, but also a Rap bridge. Double entendre!
Metal 9: 9 milliliter pistol.
Kufi: Western African term for a cap, used in this verse as a metaphor for "your head."
16: Between the choruses, the typical length of each individual rap verse is 16 bars.
"Blaow!": Onomatopoeia for a gunshot going off, derived from the 90's East-VS.-West Coast War.

[IamanElfCollaborator]

Oh, we got a tough guy
He thinks his shitty boasts we'll buy
Well I'll tell him this
He'd better run for his sis
Cause da Elf's gonna whoop his ass
And he ain't takin no sass
Guns? Pathetic
They're heavy, plastic, and hardly athletic
Axes on the other hand, they're the best
I'll school you and show the rest
How not to mess with the Collaborator

[Maxinum McDreich]

((... AW HELL YES!!!!!!!!!))

The prissy little elf has come to town,
thinking he's more than just a clown.
You think you own the place?
You do not know who you face!
What did this little crew, think they could do, when in the presence of yours true, the real male version of Mary Sue?!
Maxinum McDreich has arrived to the scene.
The opposition? They're all green!
I'll churn you all out like a machine,
and I'll even keep it clean!

You will come to fear the mighty me.
The student of the great EPIC RAP BATTLE OF HISTORY!
Acolyte of NicePeter and EpicLloyd!
For now I have just toyed.
Ph34r the time I get serious,
I'll leave you all delirious
with my unstoppable rhymes.
I'll take you all out multiple times!

[IamanElfCollaborator]

Feh, nothing but an abomination
Now he's worth a termination
Mary Sue? More like Marty Lou
His gimmick makes me wanna visit the loo
Epic Rap Battles? NicePeter? Hah!
What they gonna do, sigh 'Oohlalala'?
The Elf's in town
He's gonna shoo the clown
And school the rest
With much more zest

[GreatWyrmGold]

Maximum McDreich, of the Bay of Twelve,
Acting in a manner like a dumb elf.
(The irony is not lost on myself.)
This is rap with me and a second-shelf
Beat-boxer. Maximum or Minimum?

Collaborator, of the Bay of Twelve,
Acting in a manner like a dumb elf.
(The irony is not lost on myself.)
This is rap with me and a second-shelf
Beat-boxer. Return to your tree retreat!

And now cometh hence the next contender,
Who thinks he'll be my pride- or life-ender.
But as Billy Snow would know, I'm no lender
Of talent--it's all in me. So, uncertain-gender
Contestant, let's hear your best and the worst.

[OREOSOME]

You think you're good,
That you're sublime,
But when in all reality all it is is a crime!

You aren't that tough.
It's gonna get rough,
So just get going and run,
'Cause it is gonna get !!FUN!!

[kj1225]

Now that's not very nice,
Do that again and I'll shoot you twice.
So you better scatter mouse,
or I'll be the one to burn down your house
and you'll know the true meaning of trounced
so came at me and you'll be bounced.

We worked together once I won't reject
but it would seem I need to remove a defect
So just give me a second
and you'll see the reason you've been beckoned.