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[Harry Baldman]

"Jasmine, if you would be so kind, sir," you say to Mr. Love, forcing a smile. You then seat both patrons at the table, choosing to give up your seat for now while you search for a chair for yourself. You consider saying something about how this is all an unforeseen situation for you, but then think better of it, realizing that acting natural is probably the professional way to deal with such a crisis. Now, where to find a chair?

[-2] Looking around, you notice that there most certainly aren't any in the main room right now - you think the rest of them are kept in a storeroom on the other side of this floor, as it is incredibly rare that you need more than two now. This inconvenience is something you find rather troubling. Don't panic, don't panic, don't panic.

[-5] You are starting to get very, very tense now. Nothing is going the way you want it to, and it's really irritating. You leave the table for a moment and find Jasmine Fifty Four, the waitress for today.

"Jasmine, there's a problem. There's a guest, Ms. Bartolucci smells like booze and the guest's some ape in a suit named Mr. Love and I'm not really sure on how to deal with this and  what do I do? What?"

That didn't come out as well as you would have hoped.

"We can only do one thing," Jasmine says, shaking her head, "and that is to weather those two, whatever their condition can be. Now run along back and entertain them. Take their orders. Be patient."

[Aseaheru]

DEEP BREATHING

[Nicholas1024]

Ask the other Jasmine if she'd be so kind as to get another chair, in the meantime go back in and be the good hostess.

[Ozarck]

Calm yourself. Ask the waitress to find a chair. Return to the table and wait unobtrusively to be included in the conversation. Listen to the two guests carefully.

[Chink]

Calm yourself. Ask the waitress to find a chair. Return to the table and wait unobtrusively to be included in the conversation. Listen to the two guests carefully.

[Harry Baldman]

You take a deep breath, then ask Jasmine one more thing.

"Could I get a chair, please? There's only two there."

"I'll look into it, don't worry. Now get back there."

You act on this order immediately, ambling up to the table and listening in unobtrusively to what Ms. Bartolucci and the other guy are talking about.

"... I'll get it, don't worry," Ms. Bartolucci explains with an air of reiteration.

"Glad to hear it," Mr. Love says, patting her on the cheek. "We've got a good thing going, you and I. I like you, you like me, aren't we just the greatest friends?"

"How's Tuesday sound?"

"Tuesday sounds great, dear."

They look at each other silently. Ms. Bartolucci leans in toward the man, then sits back and laughs.

"What?" Mr. Love asks, giggling a bit.

"Had a thought, is all."

"Yeah."

A good 30 seconds of silence later, Mr. Love looks at you.

"Oh, hey... Jasmine! Where's the food, sweetie?"

"I don't think we ordered anything, dear. Heheheh."

Mr. Love's eyes widen with dim realization. "Ohhhhh. Well, we probably should order something. I'd like some squid."

"Squids are weird. You can never tell what they're thinking."

"Well, I don't look for a heartrending life story in my food, dear, so I'll still go with it. You got squid on the offers today, Jasmine?"

What a silly question to ask, really. What self-respecting cafeteria doesn't offer imitation squid these days? It's, like, the latest culinary fad.

Suddenly, a wave of sadness and regret washes over you as the implant receives a new bit of today's news. Fortunately, at this point you are rather used to receiving tragic news on the newslink. Whether getting used to people dying every day in horrible catastrophes is actually a good thing is something you asked your Therapist once, it told you not to worry about it.

Spoiler: Current News (click to show/hide)

You may focus on one item of news per unit of time, obtaining additional information on this subject.

• The Engineered Derby ends with the victory of crowd-favorite Leaden Claw, world unaided top land speed record beaten at last.
• Scientists predict tectonic activity will intensify in coming years.
• Crime is at all-time low as world police force becomes 100% engineered.
• Carl Goodman to represent Mannkorp at GIC, 'inspiring new direction' rumored.
• Engineered population booming, experts worried.
• YXW frontman Joseph Greenthaal dead at 32!
• Chelo CEO sighted with wife, mistresses express concern.
• Breaking news: magnetic rail accident in East City causes mass destruction.

Spoiler: A Description of Jasmine Thyme Model 376 (click to show/hide)

Name: Jasmine Thyme Model 376

Gender: Female

Attributes: heightened senses of taste and smell, increased manual dexterity, improved intellect, unobtrusively good looks, improved interpersonal ability, slight owner fixation, cranial netlink implant.

Skills: skilled chef, proficient at maintenance and repair, proficient at making smalltalk.

State of Mind: agitated due to uncertainty, internal emotional pressure.

[Nicholas1024]

Take their order, of course. Lay out the details of various types of squid available, (if applicable), and check if they'd like something to drink.

[Dansmithers]

Take their order, of course. Lay out the details of various types of squid available, (if applicable), and check if they'd like something to drink.

+1
Also deactivate news up link for the duration of the meal.

[Aseaheru]

only after asking if they would like to hear the news.

[Chink]

Take their order, of course. Lay out the details of various types of squid available, (if applicable), and check if they'd like something to drink.

+1
Also deactivate news up link for the duration of the meal.

only after asking if they would like to hear the news.

+1

[Harry Baldman]

"Very well, we have several varieties of imitation-"

"No, no, not imitation stuff! The real thing! A real squid, boiled whole, then put on a plate. Can you do that?"

You're pretty sure that's not an entirely legal thing to eat these days. Squids are critically endangered, after all.

You also consider how to deactivate your newslink, but realize that there is no way to do so that you know of - it never really turns off, being an organic part of your brain. At least you haven't been able to turn it off yet. Maybe you should ask the Therapist about that next time you meet.

Right now, though, this matter of cuisine needs addressing. Mr. Love seems to be looking at you expectantly.

Spoiler: Current News (click to show/hide)

You may focus on one item of news per unit of time, obtaining additional information on this subject.

• The Engineered Derby ends with the victory of crowd-favorite Leaden Claw, world unaided top land speed record beaten at last.
• Scientists predict tectonic activity will intensify in coming years.
• Crime is at all-time low as world police force becomes 100% engineered.
• Carl Goodman to represent Mannkorp at GIC, 'inspiring new direction' rumored.
• Engineered population booming, experts worried.
• YXW frontman Joseph Greenthaal dead at 32!
• Chelo CEO sighted with wife, mistresses express concern.
• Breaking news: magnetic rail accident in East City causes mass destruction.

Spoiler: A Description of Jasmine Thyme Model 376 (click to show/hide)

Name: Jasmine Thyme Model 376

Gender: Female

Attributes: heightened senses of taste and smell, increased manual dexterity, improved intellect, unobtrusively good looks, improved interpersonal ability, slight owner fixation, cranial netlink implant.

Skills: skilled chef, proficient at maintenance and repair, proficient at making smalltalk.

State of Mind: agitated due to uncertainty, internal emotional pressure.

[Nicholas1024]

Tell him you'll look into it, then offer him a few choice wines while he waits. I have a feeling if we delay about half an hour, he won't be able to tell the difference between a real squid and a stuffed animal.

[Chink]

Tell him you'll look into it, then offer him a few choice wines while he waits. I have a feeling if we delay about half an hour, he won't be able to tell the difference between a real squid and a stuffed animal.

[Aseaheru]

good idea. also, get our mistresses order.

[Harry Baldman]

"I'll... look into it, sir. Meanwhile, may I interest you in some wine?"

"Yeah, sure. Have 'em bring a bottle over. No, wait, make that two. Best stuff you've got, and make it snappy, Jasmine."

"And you, mistress?"

Ms. Bartolucci shifts in her chair, looking at the ceiling intently for a good ten seconds before remembering you and giving an answer.

"Yeah... some wine would be nice," she says, regarding you with a glassy stare.

"Three bottles, then. And three glasses, too. One for me, one for Julia and one for you! And check up on the squid, I'm not letting go that easily."

"That too... get some of that stuff, J. One for Mr. Love, one for me," she adds, looking into the eyes of her companion.

You write down the wine order on the ordering pad, but aren't sure about the whole squid thing, leading you to hesitate before pressing the confirmation button. How best to handle such a thing? Not order it at all? Actually ask? It seems like either could backfire, really.

Spoiler: Current News (click to show/hide)

You may focus on one item of news per unit of time, obtaining additional information on this subject.

• The Engineered Derby ends with the victory of crowd-favorite Leaden Claw, world unaided top land speed record beaten at last.
• Scientists predict tectonic activity will intensify in coming years.
• Crime is at all-time low as world police force becomes 100% engineered.
• Carl Goodman to represent Mannkorp at GIC, 'inspiring new direction' rumored.
• Engineered population booming, experts worried.
• YXW frontman Joseph Greenthaal dead at 32!
• Chelo CEO sighted with wife, mistresses express concern.
• Breaking news: magnetic rail accident in East City causes mass destruction.

Spoiler: A Description of Jasmine Thyme Model 376 (click to show/hide)

Name: Jasmine Thyme Model 376

Gender: Female

Attributes: heightened senses of taste and smell, increased manual dexterity, improved intellect, unobtrusively good looks, improved interpersonal ability, slight owner fixation, cranial netlink implant.

Skills: skilled chef, proficient at maintenance and repair, proficient at making smalltalk.

State of Mind: agitated due to uncertainty, internal emotional pressure.