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[Harry Baldman]

Less Than Perfection - A Game Of Feelings

Deep within the darkened, fetid bowels of the infamous den of scum and villainy that is the 31st floor of the Mannkorp building a gathering of the most notorious executives of their generation convenes. In the low light of the cramped boardroom their features are almost bestial. The ghoulish visages of the whole board of directors lurch over the table, and their beady, staring eyes are currently all occupied with the smiling, tall, extremely attractive and clearly engineered individual at the end of the table.

“Hello, everyone! I’m Carl Goodman, the temporary Chairman of this fine board. I know what you’re thinking, how is this possible? Where’s Mr. R? Well, he’s suffered a bit of a decline in his health and is now undergoing life extension as we speak. Further details are unavailable presently, I’m afraid. I’m sure he’ll be glad to tell you himself when he comes back. Meanwhile, I will represent his interests to the best of my ability.”

The predatory executives take a moment to communicate in the short hisses and angry whispers they are commonly known for.

“Anyway, what we’re gathered for today isn’t just to discuss my current tenure as Mr. R’s appointed representative. We’re also here to discuss the next project! What we decide here today will reflect on our company, so let’s brainstorm together! Our next project will be an engineered person, and it is our job to make sure it-”

The engineered executive stops in the middle of his train of thought.

“Well, our first job would be to stop calling it an ‘it’. Engineered or not, it’s a person, by God! Also, Marketing tells me that people identify closest with a definite gender identity. So there’s that. Now, any ideas, people?”

Spoiler: GM Note (click to show/hide)

As you may have guessed from the [SG] tag, this is a suggestion game. Its purpose is to test a ruleset and grant me an additional creative outlet to utilize in my free time. This is the prologue. You are corporate executives. Your objective - brainstorm until your brain becomes a slurry and the air is filled with a vague sense of consensus as you answer Carl's inquiries.

Feel free to RP as board members if you wish.

[miauw62]

Harry Baldman game? Harry Baldman game.
PTW.

E: ((Holy shit, Gamerlord. Perfectly synchronized post.))

[Gamerlord]

So. What kind of interest and funding could we expect from the military for this?

[Harry Baldman]

So. What kind of interest and funding could we expect from the military for this?

"None! The military market's a bit saturated from this year's Tom models and we still haven't distributed the revenue from that. Our next top soldier is something for next season - right now, we're looking at a civilian project to tide us over. Keep the splice-monkeys moving, you know. The current models in the private sector have aged a bit, and are starting to get edged out by Chelo Industries, and we can't have that!"

[miauw62]

"Hmpf. What facilities do we have available for this project?"

[Harry Baldman]

"Hmpf. What facilities do we have available for this project?"

"We've got the main lab free, though the lead researchers are currently unavailable. Similarly, we've also got the secondary and tertiary plants in a position where production can be started with a minimum of hassle. Plenty enough resources to engineer us a low-tier person with a few selected features - not too many, but a few."

"Really, though, that's not the issue here. We'll figure out the resource stage of it later - first we need to come up with a CONCEPT! Something versatile, something useful! Something to grab the minds of all!"

[Ozarck]

Someone mentioned brain slurry?  Let's make it a chef. Are we intending for this ... person ... to be televised? Let's make it a female and call her ... heck, I don't know, call her Bob.

[Nicholas1024]

A small overweight man with two pointy spikes of hair chimes in.

"Uh, we should do something that's never been done before... make it a third gender! Yeah, and make it smart, but not too smart, just a little worse than me in every way. Make it just competent enough so we get bonuses, then we can sell upgrades later for even more money."

Smiling evily, the man resumed staring blankly into space.


((Any similarities to a certain PHB are purely intentional.))

[Ozarck]

-I get started on the brain slurry, with a hammer to the head of one of the other board members (not one that has posted)-

[Harry Baldman]

"Someone mentioned brain slurry?  Let's make it a chef. Are we intending for this... person... to be televised? Let's make it a female and call her... heck, I don't know, call her Bob," comes a suggestion from farther down the room.

"Hm, a chef? What would that entail? Enhanced sense of smell? Improved intelligence? Great manual dexterity? Would be possible. And female. But the name Bob... hm, will have to consider that. It's mundane, yet comically out-of-place. Perhaps advisable. More on that later. Also, we aren't in charge for how the people are utilized by buyers - we can only provide guidelines."

As the boardroom ruminates on this suggestion, the honorable Mr. N chimes in.

"Uh, we should do something that's never been done before... make it a third gender! Yeah, and make it smart, but not too smart, just a little worse than me in every way. Make it just competent enough so we get bonuses, then we can sell upgrades later for even more money."

"Okay, that's another vote for intelligence, but not too much. That works, okay. And third gender... what would that entail? It's a bit difficult to wrap my head around. Could be an interesting gimmick to roll with. Also, we can't upgrade engineered people, at least not on our end of the industry."

There is a crack and the sound of someone slumping on the table. Carl looks at the source of the noise.

"Oh dear, Mr. L, are you okay?"

Mr. L merely bleeds on the table as a response.

"Now, I know that impulse control is a rather limited commodity these days, but could whoever did that step up? I wish to give them a reward for their proactivity!"

[Nicholas1024]

Mr. N explains, "Uh, let's see... girls have a Y chromosome and boys have an X one, right? Well let's give this thing a Z chromo-thingy instead! There, I've done the hard part, you guys work out the details."

((Writing this kind of stuff is surprisingly entertaining.))

[Xantalos]

I move for giving it an obsession with cake!

The man of near-Taft proportions sits back in his chair, causing it to whimper in agony.

[Ozarck]

Oh, we are making a line of beings, not a single one. Silly me, where was my head? hopefully not in the same place Mr. L's was, is, am I right? -dark chuckle-

Heightened intelligence is fine. Improved senses all around, I think, would be good. Perhaps we should make the new model a tad more ... durable than the last one? How about flexibility? hmmm....

Perhaps we should shy away from the hirsute modifications this go-round. The furry market seems to have dried up lately.

Slurry, anyone?

[weenog]

Female is good.  Female is more empathic and motherly, according to the focus groups, so consumers should be able trust and bond with her more easily than a male or an invented gender.  In addition, females would be safer in a... shall we say, unauthorized replication scenario.  Males could turn the situation runaway very quickly.

Can we make her look like a cross between Rosie the Riveter back in the 1940s, and that composite image General Mills is using for Betty Crocker?  It would give her a nonthreatening domestic appeal, while satisfying the feminists that we aren't being sexist and just pushing some housewife drone.

[Chink]

"What models have we created and sold already, Mr Goodman? I do have such a tendency to forget these things, and I do not think it would be a very good idea to tread a path we already have before."