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[anailater]

Breathe and be calm, try to remember if you have any known mental illnesses or if you've been suffering from stress recently.

[Remuthra]

Seek medical attention.

[itisnotlogical]

(After this post I have to call it for a while since I have some stuff to attend to, and coming up with stuff for the next area. Probably be ready to continue sometime later tonight.)

Breathe and be calm, try to remember if you have any known mental illnesses or if you've been suffering from stress recently.

You haven't been suffering from stress lately, except the odd happenings surrounding this damn computer game; in fact, it's been pretty good the past day two days to finally get out from underneath your parents.

You used to get in trouble frequently at school, but it was never for anything serious. You were just a bit rambunctious. You doubt it has anything to do with a mental illness, but your father always insisted it was something to do with those video games you were always playing.

Leave the house, find a good friend of ours, and tell him/her our story.

You think that sounds like a pretty good plan, and might do that when some all-controlling entity materializes your good friend and his house. You know a gal who likes to talk about and help with... unusual things.

Seek medical attention.

You think that this also sounds like a good idea, and now you aren't quite sure if you want to go to your friend's house or go to the hospital. You have a strange feeling that discussion about this very subject may be occurring very soon, between the omnipotent always-watching beings beyond your time and space that control your every movement.

[flame99]

Break free from our control.
Then go to your friend's house.

[Remuthra]

Throw a chair through the plot wall.

[Ozarck]

Edit: Take a shower. Change your clothes. If you have work today, do that, then:

Reflect on all you know about the female friend who deals in unusual stuff. Buy her an appropriate gift. Visit her and tell your story. Ask her advice on seeking medical help.

[itisnotlogical]

Throw a chair through the plot wall.

You grab the nearest piece of IKEA and chuck it at the plot wall before you realize that "plot" is an abstract concept of time. Swedish furniture, no matter how trendy or expensive, cannot break the laws of cause and effect. You'd need some fancier chairs for that, maybe those designer ones you see in the expensive restaurants.

Break free from our control.
Then go to your friend's house.

Edit: Take a shower. Change your clothes. If you have work today, do that, then:
Reflect on all you know about the female friend who deals in unusual stuff. Buy her an appropriate gift. Visit her and tell your story. Ask her advice on seeking medical help.

You are fairly sure that breaking free from extradimensional slavery would require either months of meditation or a cocktail of especially illegal drugs. Or one of those fancy chairs mentioned above, but those are bloody expensive (the chair market is inflated right now; wait until the chair bubble bursts).

Your boss has generously given you a full week of paid leave to move into your house; it required an absolutely disgusting amount of hard work and doing your job right, but you have five days entirely to yourself.

Showering sounds like a good plan. You pick up the newspaper and close the front door on your way to the bathroom, glancing at the headline:

THE BOTTOM-FEEDER STRIKES
DERANGED MADMAN TAKES BITES OUT OF BUMS

Remembering the odd meat taste in your mouth, you think you might have a guess as to where you've been last night. You quickly rinse your mouth before hopping in the shower and stop to reflect on Edna.

Edna has been your best friend since freshman year of college. You always suspected her original parents were a bit odd (they named her Edna after all), but you have never met them; from what you can guess, Edna and her parents have a rocky relationship. Even after all this time, you still feel uncomfortable when bringing them up to her. She talks in very broad terms about them and you know better than to push. You are a scholar and a gentleman, after all.

For as long as you've known her, Edna has been one of those odd neo-druids that populate the yoga studios and organic foods aisles of the world. She claims to be atheist, yet practices the elemental tarot, regularly experiments with Ouija boards and keeps a journal of demons and spirits she's encountered. You think her oddness is what keeps her from having more friends; she's free 24/7 as long as she doesn't have work. You've never heard of her going to a party, dancing, eating out with friends or even having a boyfriend. You suspect that she would be a very lonely lady if you hadn't befriended her.

Now that you're fresh like a prince of some Californian suburb, you grab the Zork disk out of the computer and put it in your pocket. On your way out, you snag a pack of pirate-themed playing cards that you had bought a few days ago, meaning to give to Edna; she loves gambling paraphernalia even more than she loves whole-grain bread, and she loves that quite a lot. You exit and begin walking to Edna's place, across the street and several doors down. You knock on the door and a rather short woman in glasses peeks out, grinning a little too enthusiastically as soon as she recognizes you.

"Oh, hello! How are you doing?"

[Xantalos]

"I'm being possessed by grues."

[flame99]

"I'm being possessed by grues."

+1, and commit her reply to memory, because I will give you a cash-back guarantee that it will be priceless.

[Ozarck]

Say "yo, homes! Smell ya later." When she asks, or looks quizzically at you, tell her it was something you thought of while in the shower. Redirect the now-awkward conversation to your growing madness. Chicks dig growing madness.

edit: also ask if she will help you unpack in your clearly haunted house. If she agrees, proceed to do so.

[itisnotlogical]

Say "yo, homes! Smell ya later." When she asks, or looks quizzically at you, tell her it was something you thought of while in the shower. Redirect the now-awkward conversation to your growing madness. Chicks dig growing madness.

edit: also ask if she will help you unpack in your clearly haunted house. If she agrees, proceed to do so.

"Yo, homes! Smell ya later." You belt this wicked phrase, but it seems that Edna (being an unwashed peasant, bless her) is unfamiliar with the ways of fresh princes. You feel confident that some day she will learn. Edna enthusiastically agrees to help you unpack later, being free for the entire day as she usually is. First, however, she fairly drags you into her house, which is identical to yours except for thick incense smoke and several meticulously-painted Dungeons and Dragons miniatures adorning every level of her well-stocked book shelf.

"I'm being possessed by grues."

+1, and commit her reply to memory, because I will give you a cash-back guarantee that it will be priceless.

Edna's eyes widen in shock. She didn't know what a grue was, but she knew it was bad as soon as she heard the word "possessed". Giving you no time to explain further, Edna firmly grasps your hand (which would be rather pleasant if she weren't being so rough right now) and shoves you down into a chair. "I always knew this day would come," she mutters, clearly on the edge of a panic attack. "D-demons! They've finally come to steal my powers! And those clever bastards," she continues, turning to face you with a manic gleam in her eye, "those bastards are using you to get at me!"

Rushing into the kitchen, Edna pulls out a box of Great Value tea packets (with a tape-and-Sharpie label reading "HERBAL MIXTURE FOR POSSESSION") and puts some water in the microwave to boil. She has clearly prepared for a moment like this. Using a step stool, she retrieves an angelic-looking miniature and a small paperback book labelled "DEMONOLOGY" from the top level of her bookshelf. "I'm sorry I'm being a bit panicky, but you know me- I always take possession very seriously," she reassures you, setting the book on the table and pushing the miniature into your hand. "Hold on to that very tightly," she commands you.

Edna goes into the kitchen again to wait for the water to boil. Now that there's a lull in her preparations, she seems a bit more ready to listen to you.

[Ozarck]

try not to pass out from the incense. Fail.

[flame99]

"Okay, so I take it you don't actually know what a Grue is. It's a monster from a video game called Zork, and they live in the darkness. They are NOT, however, demons. I was in the basement of my new house, and then all of a sudden my things were re-arranged, and a few hours had passed. Later, after freaking out for a bit, I tried to play Zork, as I had some weird feelings about it at the time. That, and apparently some inter-dimensional beings are controlling and observing my life as a game called "You are likely to be eaten by a grue". A few more hours had passed, the lose screen for dying to a Grue was on the screen, and I had a weird taste in my mouth, as well as being really full. I... I think I might've been the guy that ate somebody's....Err...Hind quarters.

EDIT: "Oh, and there are invisible pink unicorns somewhere in the mix, too, but they're not demonic either."

[Ozarck]

"Okay, so I take it you don't actually know what a Grue is. It's a monster from a video game called Zork, and they live in the darkness. They are NOT, however, demons. I was in the basement of my new house, and then all of a sudden my things were re-arranged, and a few hours had passed. Later, after freaking out for a bit, I tried to play Zork, as I had some weird feelings about it at the time. That, and apparently some inter-dimensional beings are controlling and observing my life as a game call "You are likely to be eaten by a grue". A few more hours had passed, the lose screen for dying to a Grue was on the screen, and I had a weird taste in my mouth, as well as being really full. I... I think I might've been the guy that ate somebody's....Err...Hind quarters.

mutter: to be fair, the guy had it coming. He had dice on his mirror, and his cab was rare.

[itisnotlogical]

try not to pass out from the incense. Fail.

The incense stings your eyes a bit, but you've been over to Edna's place enough to be able to withstand it. Besides, it's rude to pass out when a kind lady is helping you with your possession problems.

-snip-

mutter: to be fair, the guy had it coming. He had dice on his mirror, and his cab was rare.

Edna listens quietly to this, ignoring the microwave's chirp when the water is done heating up. She seems to have calmed down, at least. "It definitely sounds like you're being possessed, all right. Here, I have a book about this..." She retreats back to the bookshelf and spends several minutes looking for something. Eventually, she returns with a thin paperback book titled "It Wasn't Me, It Was My Curling Iron: Amazing Tales Of Being Possessed By Possessions". She flips through, looking for a certain chapter. With a tiny "Aha," she shows the page to you to read. Detailed on the page is an account of a man who hit his head rather severely at a construction site. When awoken, the man's last memory was of playing Donkey Kong at a local arcade. When you finish reading and look up, Edna is smiling at you expectantly.