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[DJ]

I believe that attack is the best defence. Most of the time people will back down before louder yelling. Sometimes, though, fists may start talking, so don't try this with people that are much bigger than you.

[ChairmanPoo]

It's better, however, if you can intimidate someone without even raising your voice. I'm pretty good at it, but an acquitance of mine with a long history in management is a true zen master, and can do it without even looking angry. I hope to master that skill eventually.

[femmelf]

This thread really has been helpful.

I guess the other thing is what on earth to do when I get that horrible feeling in my throat/chest. It's a great big lump, or it feels like that and it's harder to breath, not impossible, but it feels like there is a weight on my chest/ my throat/ my airway. I can breath, but it feels heavier and instead of thinking about whatever I was thinking about, I'm now focused on breathing and worried it might stop (hopefully without a good reason).

[Cheeetar]

I believe that attack is the best defence. Most of the time people will back down before louder yelling. Sometimes, though, fists may start talking, so don't try this with people that are much bigger than you.

Being a bigger bully than your bully is not always the best thing.

[DJ]

It's a god eat dog world out there. Morally, sure, being a bully is a bad thing, but pragmatically it's not so clear cut.

[shadenight123]

I find it funny how practically everyone on the forum seems to declare the:
"Consider those around you impractical bugs not worthy of our attention." modus operandi as their way of life.
I share it too, btw, and that's why I'm finding it funny.

I imagine how a Bay12 reunion would go. Everyone sauntering around with their chin high, while drinking champagne from a flute and generally snubbing each other. Until Magma was mentioned, then everyone would start dictating the mean ways to end the life of enemy sieges.

Then again, maybe we would connect as 'similar-high opinionated' beings and start a friendly plan to conquer the universe and save mankind from its own stupidity.

[Dutchling]

I imagine how a Bay12 reunion would go. Everyone sauntering around with their chin high, while drinking champagne from a flute and generally snubbing each other.

This sounds awesome.

[nenjin]

I believe that attack is the best defence. Most of the time people will back down before louder yelling. Sometimes, though, fists may start talking, so don't try this with people that are much bigger than you.

Being a bigger bully than your bully is not always the best thing.

It's not about being a bully. It's about standing up for yourself.

[Truean]

Not a fan of being the bigger bully, for several reasons:

A.) You might not be the bigger bully and finding this out may be painful if the other person is....
B.) You become what you hate....
C.) You get a target on your back (the guy trying to prove he's the biggest will prove it by taking you out if you're the "biggest").

[Vector]

If you want to be the bigger bully, then you have to hit the other guy so hard that never in his life will he be able to recover and try to take you out.  In other words, you have to psychologically damage him in a permanent way.

I dunno.  That's not really something I'm up for.

[femmelf]

If you want to be the bigger bully, then you have to hit the other guy so hard that never in his life will he be able to recover and try to take you out.  In other words, you have to psychologically damage him in a permanent way.

I dunno.  That's not really something I'm up for.

Yeah, me too. I'm just not a bully. I try to be reasonable and other people just are not.

Example, my mom wants to know why this company won't do something she wants them to do. Question is, why would they do it at all? It costs them money and they really don't have to do it, so they won't. She blames me for them not doing it. Same idea with pretty much everybody.

I don't understand why people do this kind of thing. Something they want can't happen. They get upset or mad and then more or less demand to know why whatever they want to have can't happen. Come on, the world doesn't work like that.

They're shifting the blame and the responsibility for an answer to somebody else, and it feels like this is usually me.

I then tell them something that's true, but something they don't wanna hear (and I don't like it either but it's just how things are). They blow up at me like I'm personally the one screwing them over.

Jesus, basically it's a great big don't shoot the messenger.

[Darkmere]

You could try the ole' "smile and nod and agree with everything" routine.

I mean... if people are being mad *near* you and not directly *at* you, maybe a little token validation would go a long way, even if you don't actually agree. It's out of your power to change anyway, just placate and move on?

[shadenight123]

That sounds like my mother.
Somehow, I must be the fault of everything that happens to her, because I'm a 'failure'.

...

You know what helps keep the stress down? Writing about it on an empty word page. By the end it's pretty much a string of curses, but it is strangely therapeutic.

[DJ]

If you want to be the bigger bully, then you have to hit the other guy so hard that never in his life will he be able to recover and try to take you out.  In other words, you have to psychologically damage him in a permanent way.

I dunno.  That's not really something I'm up for.

Not really. Like in most species, in humans most hierarchy disputes are settled by harmless displays.

[shadenight123]

Sometimes it just takes a display of brute force to last but an instant. A sort of 'peacock's fan' for a moment. To set 'boundaries'. The moment they are set the rest of the world usually understands that 'some things are fine...others aren't'.

I wasn't bullied in school for much, because I set boundaries to it by myself. If I was left alone, everything was fine. If they disturbed my sleep, I'd slam one of them against the desk, hard, repeatedly.

Or if they 'played' with my things, like flushing them down the drain, I'd take theirs, do the same, and then rip them to tiny pieces.

Extremism battles very well against bullies. The moment they suffer hard, they usually understand it's 'not worth it' to insist.
And really...the overweight guy with glasses? no way he can have bullied someone!