Mountain Homes
Make mobility units for any other productive dwarf who asks for one, and travel along in mine gathering wood and corpses and ore.
(1+1) Nobody asks for one! And you can't find any good materials, what with the huge distraction.
Continue activating the ?artifact?
(4) The artifacts begins to send swirling light out around you!
Climb out of the hole, dragging the gold thing with me if possible.
(6) You pull that strange thing up with you, it's solid gold!
Summon Golden Guns, golden weapons which summon high-velocity golden projectiles aimed at people, and distribute them amongst the dwarves.
Summon a Golden Gattler, a big gattling Golden Gun, and install it atop the Great Golden Gurdwara.
While I'm at it, summon some more Golden Guardians and station them at various points in the fortress.
Also, create the Golden Gate Bridge, a gold bridge with a gate on it to get across that nasty hole.
(2) You hear a deafening roar! You can't focus!
LEARN STONE MAGIC.
(2+1) The voice suddenly shouts at you to dig deeper!
(3) You hear it too!
Convince the ghosts to combine their powers with my int a massive energy blast to wreck the mountain homes.
(6) You blast the wall with the rage of an entire herd of fallen elephants!
AN AQUIFER HAS BEEN BREACHEDAbsorb my Blood-Spawns to obtain Blood Magic.
Make a trade depot for that poor, poor merchant.
(5) Unfortunately, you can't use the suit like that, but you do make a nice depot.
Keep digging.
(6) HOLY-
Under the Mountain
Have him get out the way, then go onto the platform thing and keep tunneling up.
(5)
RRRRRHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHStart tunneling up out of Xantalos's way
(2) Xantalos kicks you out of the way! He breaks through!
Outskirts of Mountain Homes
Keep flying.
(6) You arrive at the mountain homes. Oh, what a lovely day.
Caverns
Wobble my guts friendly at the elf, then look with suspicion at the horde of crundles
The floating guts follows the horde of crundles because of curiousity
(3) The dwarves and crundles trample the elf to death, so you go ahead and eat it, and follow them.
Tell my crundles to not kill the floating guts, and then look to see if they have hands that can use tools. If they do, continue to travel and teach them to use tools. If not, grant them the gift of opposable thumbs, with my beard.
(2) You trample over the elf and keep going, your beard is being fussy again.
Ask if they've seen any fabled ores of old.
(4) The guts can't talk, and the elf is dead, but you're sure you're on the right path!
Lamias Capital
Thank kj1225 the greatest of gods for the assist and expand the Lamia kingdom after building my fucking Tardis.
(4) You head home and start building a big blue box.
Use newly acquired energy to evolve to this form:
A living virus in the shape of a human. I can eat organic things, and gain capabilities based on that which I eat. Anything I eat, I can mimic, and I gain the memories. Said mimicking and memories are perfectly accurate to the point that nobody could tell the difference. I regenerate from wounds, but consume bio-mass(gotten from eating) to do so. Also, I can do things like throw around tanks and run up skyscrapers. Oh, and I weigh about a quarter ton.
(2) Like a super-dwarven blast of pure energy would be expected to do to a mass of viral growth, you die.
Skies
Continue flying, listening to the dragon.
(4) You are learning of the glories of KJ the first. You have become a Disciple of KJ the first!
Continue flying to the humans, preach on the way.
(6) You suddenly are grateful that you aren't near the mountain homes, you don't know why. You think the dwarf is getting the idea of what you're saying, and you can see the kingdoms in sight.
Human Kingdoms
Advance my technology while expanding the settlement
(2) You are distracted as you watch the other two kingdoms start a fight!
MY CITIZENS, YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ATTACK TT'S CAMP, SHOW HIM NOT TO MESS WITH ME. RARGGGGGGGGGGGG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(6) You call upon your armies and have them charge!
Build a wall. Then advance human technology.
(6) You raise up the wall just in time! You'll have to fight before you can improve your tech!
Wilds
Establish a base camp.
(1) You put the tree back up!
Oh well. Summon a blast of light to figure where I am, then fly over to the human settlement. Make no move to attack.
(5) You find the humans! It looks like a fight's about to go down...
Far Side of Gia
Summon golem (with wheels instead of feet) to carry me to the Mountainhomes.
Begin construction of high-speed wheeled vehicle.
(1) You try to make a vehicle, it's instantly portaled away by killerhellhound.
Stomp and curse and tell my companion "This doesn't happen to me normally" Then portal to the mountain homes
(4) You successfully reach the mountain homes! Along with some junk.
Afterlife
Mumble angrily and return to the world of the living for vengeance
(3) You walk out, bitterly.
Other
A new dwarf strolls into the fortress's caves.
(1) You have horrible timing.
Universe
Gia: Habitable Formed by kj1225 the First
Helios: Star Formed by kj1225 the First
Hatvia: Moon Formed by Remuthra the Hat
Stars: Created by Remuthra the Hat
Void-Spawn: Extinct Created by Xantalos the Devourer
Hatvians: Created by Remuthra the Hat
Dragons: Thriving Created by GreatWyrmGold the Dragon
Magma Snakes: Created by Xantalos the Mantle Snake
Crundles: Controlled by squidgen's beard Called by squidgen
Blood-Spawn: Controlled by Nazush Midortosid Created by BFEL
Dwarves: Small Colony Created by Remuthra the Hat
Wizards: 5 members Unknown Origin
Lamias: 1 City Created by kj1225 the First
Humans: Too many small Kingdoms Unknown Origin
Dwarven Civilization: 1 Colony
Lamias Civilization: 1 City
Wizard Hermit House: 1 House
Kingdom of poketwo: 1 Settlement
Kingdom of Glloyd: 1 Settlement, basic industry
Kingdom of Tavik Toth: 1 Camp
The Towers of Trial: Created by killerhellhound the Wizard
Nazush Midortosid: Power Armor created by BFEL the Dwarf
MountainAssaults, The Siege Fortress: created by Elephant Parade
Zustashmabdug Thunen: Artifact Ale created by flabort
Summon Void-Spawn: Ancient Created by Xantalos the Devourer
Void Plague: Ancient Created by GreatWyrmGold the Dragon
Divine Cage Ancient Created by kj1225 the First
Conjure Hat: Ancient Created by Remuthra the Hat
Summon Explosives: Explosions Created by Remuthra the Wizard
Gilan's Golden Shackles: Gold Created by GreatWyrmGold the Wizard
Lukeinator's Levitation: Wind Created by Lukeinator the Wizard
Forceful Jaunt: Portals Created by "Git off my lawn!" killerhellhound the Wizard
Gilan's Golden Guardian: Gold Created by GreatWyrmGold the Wizard
Steve's Sudden Ships: Fortifications Created by Elephant Parade the Wizard
Steve's Sturdy Suit: Fortifications Elephant Parade the Wizard
Terraformers: Ancient Created by kj1225 the First
Copper age: Developed by Lamias, and Kingdom of poketwo
Dwarven age: Developed by Dwarves
Stone age: Developed by Humans
Kj1225 the First
Xantalos the Devourer
GreatWrymGold the Dragon
Remuthra the Hat
BFEL, First Dwarf - Healthy Creator of Nazush Midortosid Mountain Homes
Aseaheru - Healthy Mountain Homes
Squidgen - Healthy Magical Beard, Leader of Crundles Caverns outside Mountain Homes
BunnyBob77 - Deceased
Gamerlord, Dwarven Wizard - Healthy Gold Mountain Homes
flabort - Healthy Creator of Zustashmabdug Thunen Mountain Homes
Zanzetkuken The Great - Healthy Super Dwarf Disciple of KJ the First On way to Dragon's Coast
TopHat - Healthy Merchant Mountain Homes
Coolrune206 - Deceased
Elfeater - Healthy Mountain Homes
killerhellhound - Healthy Portals Creator of The Towers of Trials Mountain Homes
Kj1225, Time Wizard - Healthy Time and Space Lamias Capital
GreatWyrmGold, Wizard - Healthy Gold Mountain Homes Trials Passed Cheated
Remuthra, Wizard - Deceased
Lukeinator, the Grey - Healthy Wind Mountain Homes
Elephant Parade, Steve - Healthy Fortifications Creator of MountainAssaults, the Siege Fortress Far side of Gia
poketwo, Human King - Healthy King of the Kingdom of poketwo Poketwo's Capital
Tavik Toth, Human King - Healthy King of the Kingdom of Tavik Toth Tavik Toth's Capital
Glloyd, Human King - Healthy King of the Kingdom of Glloyd Glloyd's Capital
freeformschooler, Cave Elf - Deceased
Remuthra, Forest Elf - Healthy Wilds
Dansmithers, Laser Dragon - Healthy Lasers Mountain Homes
Scionox, Shadow Dragon - Healthy +3 shadow charge Shadow Mountain Homes
wolfchild, Sky Dragon - Healthy Priest of KJ1225 the First Sky Dragon's Coast
Coolrune206, Dragon - Healthy Unknown
Powder Miner, Powder Man - Healthy Caverns outside Mountain Homes
blademan9999, Elephant - Deceased
Xantalos, Mantle Serpent - Healthy Under the Mountain Homes
blademan9999 the Dwarven Statue - Mountain Homes
ArchAIngel, the dead - Deceased
Dorsidwarf, Magma Snake - Healthy Under the Mountain Homes
Tomcost, Floating Guts - Healthy Creepy Unknown
WOO! It's mass combat test time!
your mainline infantry are the guys with swords/axes, your skirmishers have mace/hammer, your Shock troops have spears/pikes, and the archers have bows/crossbows! If you can't tell any of them apart, I can't blame you!
(tip: the spears are pretty obvious, but the skirmishers are holding their weapons upright, while mainline are holding them down by their hip.
I'll be ignoring the day/night cycle for this fight, so go crazy.)