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[Argembarger]

Asmelnethgön. Merchantlusts.

A fortress founded on a solid bedrock of dwarven avarice.

A fortress managed by dwarves who never quite looked up "avarice" in the dictionary, but who think they understand the basic idea.

They don't. But you certainly won't catch the caravans correcting their mistake anytime soon.

Spoiler: Obligatory Quotes Compendium (click to show/hide)

"Merchantlusts. Where naked soldiers fuck up giant tiersel peregrines while elves are destroyed by werepandas, and the whole enterprise is run by goblin bureaucrats."

I... I just.. No. Don't say a word, Saint. Just don't say a word. I don't want to know why we have trousers as our symbol and why you called it The Tunnel of Cloisters. Just shut up.

TURNS
Argembarger: 1 2 3 4 5 6 SAVE
Dwarvinator: 1 1 SAVE
Monitor Lisard: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7+8+9 10+11 12+13 14 15+SAVE
peregarrett: 1 2+3 4 5

Spoiler: Normal Succession Fort Rules You're Probably Familiar With (click to show/hide)

1. Turns shall begin and end on the first days of spring, and will last one in-game year.
2. You shall have one whole week to finish your turn or at least post some updates before you are skipped.
3. You shall not sabotage the fortress deliberately, or we will treat your turn as a skipped one.
4. Vanilla, unmodded dwarf fortress. 0.34.11. Tilesets etc. are fine, Dwarf Therapist is fine for sanity. No 'cheats' otherwise.

No savescumming! meet the deads with rain of bolts. Also, zombies made me giggle.

Spoiler: Crazy-Stupid Merchantlust Rules To Ensure Our Quick And Bloody Deaths (click to show/hide)

5. You MUST trade with all merchants, traders, and caravans that arrive at the fortress.
6. Merchants must NOT be physically harmed, delayed, or allowed to go insane.
7. You MUST purchase every single item that all merchants bring with them.
8. You MUST set "Anyone may trade" on the trade depot. This is a fortress of oniomaniacs, after all. Everyone must be given equal opportunity to be the fort shopper!
9. When the dwarven liason arrives, you must set the priority for anything you want your successor to buy to maximum. OPTIONAL SUGGESTION: Order up some nice useless baubles too! Everyone loves rock crafts!
10. You may seize a merchant's goods IF AND ONLY IF you are COMPLETELY UNABLE to purchase them legitimately. That means you can only seize if the merchants do not accept all tradable goods you can both access and offer. Rocks and boulders and other heavy, valueless items are optionally exempt from this restriction. We're not psychos, people, we don't steal unless we have to.
11. If you are unable to purchase a merchant's goods, you must seize. This can be either due to Rule 10, or it can happen if the merchants are preparing to leave and you do not have enough time to carry out a legitimate trade.
12. Keep your depot wagon-accessible at all times. Should be obvious!
13. No deliberately trading offensive items to elves. Accidents are okay, but they better actually be accidental. I forget, can you seize from elves after you offend them? If so, do that if the situation happens to come up.

Addendum 1: You can of course sell back any and all purchased trade goods. Just not to the caravan you purchased them from. I'm not a total maniac and I wouldn't ask my worst enemy to keep track of every item that was purchased versus produced in a dwarf fortress.

Addendum 2: Breaking one of rules 5-15 is only allowed if you get away with it and have no sense of honor

Player List
1. Me! (Argembarger)
2. Dwarvinator
3. Monitor Lisard
4. peregarrett
5. callisto8413
6. StLeibowitz
7. laularukyrumo
8. TheDarkStar
8+. Players wanted! This could be you!

Spoiler: I have no idea who these dwarves are (click to show/hide)

1. Argembarger: Dead. Cause: Undead.
2. Saint: Alive, Bookkeeper/Manager/"Broker", Probably Didn't Get Foot Chopped Off By Kobold
3. Monitor Lizard Lisard: Dead. Cause: Mace to the head.
4. Uristoteles: Dead. Cause: Being Killed
5. Dwarvinator: Dead. Cause: Being Killed
6. Bobnova: Alive, Mechanic, Presumed Partying
7. Peregarrett: Presumed Dorf

Dorf Waiting List
Accepting Applications

[callisto8413]

I have never played a succession game before but am willing to try it.  Maybe the fourth or fifth player in line to see how it works?  I use Lazy Noob, so would I have to do anything with the settings when playing a saved game?  Or would it automatically use the saved game's settings?

[Toxicshadow]

Holy crap, these rules are a *bit* OP... Like, every item they bring?

[RickRollYou2]

Step 1: Chop down trees
Step 2: Spiked balls spam
Step 3:
Step 4: Profit!

Also, purchasing every item is going to cause some serious FPS issues if your computer isn't powerful enough...

[Monitor Lisard]

Man, maybe you should make at least some of those rules optional? I would give a try if so.

Hey, is there a Dorfing list awailable?

[peregarrett]

Greedy beardy bastards? I give it a try!

9. When the dwarven liason arrives, you MUST set the priority for all possible import items to maximum. This will ensure the Dwarven caravan consistently brings random, very expensive items. (The act of setting all the priorities to max may/will be very annoying; possibly consider macros for convenience)

I guess that will result in thousands of crappy plump helmets instead of great valuable goods like gems, golden toys, armor and weapons and so on. I think we should let community deside what to order. For example, let each retired overseer to mandate goods to be requested by his successor.

And, are we allowed to sell aquired good back to get profit? Or should we sell only original goods - i.e. not (+goods+), but *goods* only

[Dwarvinator]

I have one niggling concern about this enterprise. It occurs to me that buying the entire stocks of visiting merchants may be something of a tall order in a young fort. I don't have the precise figures to hand, but off the top of my head, the annual expenditure could conceivably be around the 30 grand mark. It'd equate to a fair mountain of substandard crafts and old socks, anyway.

Aside from that, I would be thrilled if you would consider putting me down for a turn.

[Argembarger]

I've tweaked a couple of the rules a bit based on these vibes. Should be less annoying now, but still pretty hard. Hard is good. Hard is Fun.

I've been planning from the start to do a smallish (2x2 or 2x3, probably) embark to help alleviate FPS concerns. Should I do anything else? Should we turn off temperature maybe?

Thanks for the interest though; I'll get the real, actual dorf list up when I get home from work tonight. Placeholder is up for anyone willing to dorf themselves blindly. I need at least a couple of crazies to officially sign up though, if only to entertain and amuse those that shan't or can't.

NINJA:

Yeah, I know I'll be working my ass off to try to buy up the first caravan. I don't want to have to seize, but...

You good for Turn 2, Dwarvinator?

[Monitor Lisard]

Well I guess I'm decided now. Can I be like third/fourth? That would be great.
'Bout dorfing: If there is a dwarf in the party who likes leopard seals and stuff... Or someone who's a good stoneworker... Well, doesn't really matter. I would be happy if you write "Monitor Lisard" in. Preferably if he would be a male dwarf.

[peregarrett]

Don't forget to put me into turn list, wherever it has a free place.

[Argembarger]

Updated.

@Callisto: I'm not sure. I don't have much experience with the LNP. I assume if you're just using it for the tileset and external utilities, things should work out. The important thing is that you don't modify the raws.

At any rate, if something doesn't work right, you can always just unzip the save into a fresh download of DF 34.11

[StLeibowitz]

Step 1: Chop down trees
Step 2: Spiked balls spam
Step 3:
Step 4: Profit!

Also, purchasing every item is going to cause some serious FPS issues if your computer isn't powerful enough...

It was never said we had to keep all the items. Oniomania only covers purchasing, not hoarding.

Dwarven Atom Smasher, anyone?

EDIT: Eh, I'm bored. Sign me up for a turn, dwarf me as someone likely and name him Saint.

[Argembarger]

It was never said we had to keep all the items. Oniomania only covers purchasing, not hoarding.

Dwarven Atom Smasher, anyone?

Exactly.

Welcome to the team

[callisto8413]

I would ask you to Dorf me but if I die before my turn it would be weird.... 

oh well, go for it!

[callisto8413]

@Callisto: I'm not sure. I don't have much experience with the LNP. I assume if you're just using it for the tileset and external utilities, things should work out. The important thing is that you don't modify the raws.
At any rate, if something doesn't work right, you can always just unzip the save into a fresh download of DF 34.11

So I am assuming a normal game settings.  Invaders, Cave ins, and Aquifers?   ^_^