Mission One: Mister O’Reilly: 1.3
See if I have extra bullets. If so, reload the rifle. Then run up to the house and use the survival techniques of the Congo to start a fire at the back entrance. Or just the back, if there is no such entrance.
Father Nkutu ejects the magazine and slots in another with the trained and efficient motions of a deadly hitpriest, managing just about to get his breathing under control after the excitement of semi-auto magazine emptying. He jumps to his feet, leaps out of the bushes, and sprints round the house with the angry barking of dogs ringing in his ears.
He doesn’t stop till he gets to the back entrance. He looks around, getting naked still foremost in his mind, and produces a small jar of petrol and a lighter from within the depths of his cassock.
…The back passage is soon aflame, licks of flame and burps of smoke shooting up the walls!
An alarm begins to sound!
Quickly break off and head deeper into the villa, in the direction of the gunshot while trying to sneak my way towards the target. If engaging any other person: Pacify via communication. Talk to them!
Ignoring the forbidden delights of the security guard’s trouser pockets, Father Pax sneaks off, down the long corridor towards the heart of the villa, trying to locate the direction of the gunshots, and failing.
…Suddenly he bumps into a sprinting security guard!
”OhhellothereI’mheretokillMisterO’ReillyImeanfecknonotreallyI’mheretoahhh-“Arnold the Security Guard draws his fist, and karate chops Father Pax right in the eye!
…Father Pax collapses to the ground, clutching his groin and almost fatally injured!
An alarm begins to sound!
Leave the guard and his hounds to it. Head deeper into the villa, keeping an eye out for important-looking papers and/or a way up. Maintain innocent nudist disguise throughout.
Father Auburn hops about in the… drawing room? It looks like a feckin’ drawing room.
”...why do I bother,” he wonders, as he stalks across the room to a shut door. He stands upright against the doorframe, listening through the distant commotion to hear for any movement on the other side.
There is none.
”GET ON THE FECKIN’ GROUND I’M A FECKIN’ NUDIST!” he cries out, shoulder barging through the door into an empty corridor of silence.
”Oh. Right. Well. Ok so. Probably scared ‘em off.”…He dashes across the small space to the next door. Suddenly an alarm starts ringing! He raises his armoured bible, kicks in the door, and rushes into the next room! It’s a large spacious open plan dining/sitting area! It looks rather pleasant!
Suddenly there’s quite a loud noise right behind Father Auburn.
He turns round.
”Shite.”Recover from the judo and slice the feck out of the blasted gobshite that's gone and attacked me, all while ominously chanting scripture.
…Chanting the feck out of some ominous scripture he’s just remembered, Father Anderson deftly and daintily rolls and recovers, ducks as the security guard lunges at him with a deadly judo kick, and slices the feck out of the gobshite! The fecker drops dead to the ground!
The priest’s instincts take over and he ducks up against the wall to take cover, ominous Latin still droning away.
What sounds like a fire alarm starts ringing.
Feck this all. Hijack a car and drive it straight into the fecking mansion of fecking O'Reilly. While reciting mass.
…Droning ominous Latin can also be heard on the other side of Termonfeckin, clearly audible above the squeals of tyres and the screams of carjacked innocents lying sprawling and bleeding from gunshot wounds in the road as Father Crimson fecks it all and blasts through town at eighty miles an hour in a souped up Land Rover. He’s doing his best to keep hold of the wheel as he manoeuvres his arms and legs out of his cassock, shattering the windscreen with the butt of his assault rifle at one time in a desperate attempt to see through the smear of some unidentified bodily fluid. He smashes through a six foot wall, crashes through a tall thick bush, and blasts across an open stretch of lawn without slowing down, without even being slowed down by the bump and sickening crunch as he mows down one of the ravenous guard dogs chasing Father Nkutu and certainly not at all slowing down before leaping out of the Land Rover fully naked except for a red headband and screaming his own particular version of a nice gentle afternoon Mass.
”GERONIMOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!”There’s a crunch of twisted metal as the front of the four by four collapses in on itself. There’s the sound of an approaching dog barking.
And then there’s an enormous explosion as the fuel tank explodes, tearing apart the wall that used to stand between Mister O’Reilly’s garden and his rather pleasant large spacious open plan dining/sitting area! Flames start climbing up the wall to Mister O’Reilly’s luxury hanging out lounge!
Father Crimson strides through the smoke, assault rifle at his hip, peering through the smoky gloom.
”Well, shite! Who the feck are you?”… … … … … …
Name: Father Nkutu, formerly known as Father Curran, Harry Baldman
Health: [10/10] | South left of room 4
Skills: Tis But a Flesh Wound!Inventory: Sniper rifleName: Father Crimson, Errol
Health: [7/10] | Naked | Room 3
Skills: Competent BullshiterInventory: Assault rifleName: Father Alexander Anderson, ragnarok97071
Health: [3/10] | Main entrance
Skills: Competent Bayonet UserInventory: Blessed BayonetName: Father Auburn, Digital Hellhound
Health: [10/10] | Naked | Room 3
Skills: Competent Heathen ImpersonatorInventory: Armoured BibleName: Father Pax, Tiruin
Health: [2/10] | Far right corridor
Skills: Competent Flashbang UserInventory: FlashbangName: Mister O’Reilly, Target
Health: [10/10]Skills: ??
Inventory: ??
Name: Security Guard One
Health: [8/8] | With Father Pax
Name: Armed Guard One
Health: [7/8]Name: Armed Guard Two
Health: [8/8]Name: Attack Dog Two
Health: [4/4]