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[laularukyrumo]

First of all, an introduction.

This story comes as an alternate timeline (since my turn is not coming for a good many years and I NEED REVENGE) in the epic adventurer-mode succession game, The Museum. Please read a good portion of that if you have not, as it is excellent. The important information, though, is at my turn, located here. I will be playing in the same world, as an adventurer. I have three goals for my quest.

1: Travel the same route that Smige intended, visiting all four of the sites, taking screenshots and exploring intensely. The route involves starting in Dinnerwandered, then going to Northevil, then Dashedstake, then Plankstirred (the fortress founded to the south, on the second continent, The Land of Amethysts, aka Australia), and finally the most recent establishment, Deathtraps.

2: Find the goblins who killed Smige/Thele and exact revenge!

3: Kill Thel Indigozephyrs, the vampire mentioned in the opening story who was supposedly the reason for Smige/Thele starting her adventure in the first place.

4: Locate Smige Trailblizzards's body and return it to Scaldedbrand, her hometown, for burial.

I will accomplish these goals, and no amount of resistance on the game's part shall stop me. And thus begins the tale:


Jasro was perhaps the most vocal of the Trailblizzards family when poor Smige declared her desire to leave their hometown of Scaldedbrand and go adventuring. "I know how you feel about Thel, but you cannot do this! You must not throw your life away, we have many great heroes who can take up this cause on your behalf!" But Smige would not have any of it. Smige was a strong, independent woman, determined to be the change she wished to see in the world. But when word finally reached Scaldedbrand that poor Smige had perished, it was only fitting that Jasro would take the news the hardest. He was devestated... but not in the same way the rest of the family was. His heart, instead of being torn asunder from loss, burned with the fires of revenge.

"No, Jasro! Not now, not in our time of sorrows! We have already lost one child, we cannot lose you too!"

"Enough!" shouted Jasro, pounding his fist on the table. It shook from the impact, dishes jostled, one plate even crashing to the ground. "I have made up my mind. I will see to it that her wishes are carried out. I should have gone with her then, instead of pleading with her to stay. Perhaps if I had lent her my strength, she would still be alive. But I have a chance to rectify this mistake, and I will do so!"

Jasro's parents looked at him, then from his sea-green eyes to each other, and then back to him, nodding. With their silent approval, he set about to pack his bags, taking the family's ancestral spear for protection, and to remind him of his quest. Engraved along the hilt were representations of each member of the family tree, and he had circled Smige's with a chalk outline. Holding his head up high, he set out from their home, out into the untamed, dangerous world.

The first stop on his quest was the infamous Dinnerwandered. If nothing else, he could begin tracking down the route Smige had traveled, and perhaps even to recover her body for burial. If he could do at least this, Jasro vowed, then he had succeeded. From what he could gather, she had last been spotted alive south of Mindfulrings, and that was where Jasro would travel first.

((Day 01-- Spawned in Chuckbridge, one OW tile south of Dinnerwandered, which itself is one OW tile southwest of Scaldedbrand. Asked for quests from spawning house; tasked to kill Thel and Bora. Spent rest of day swimming in river. Returned to nearby house to sleep. Ate, drank.))

((Day 02-- Refilled waterskin in river. Got 3 units of "water water", or "water laced with water", depending on the source queried. River had several tiles described as "water" with "a spattering of water." Physics are strange indeed. Most of the contaminant-water ended up forced to the side, absorbed into the peat walls as expected for waterborn contamination. Still, extremely weird.

Woke up just before dawn, left river to find food. Better to hunt and kill something now, so more time can be spent in river. Traveled southwest in ambush mode across rural Chuckbridge until arriving at the Hills of Murdering. First creature found was a honey badger; paused hunting to gain defensive skills via exploit-wrestling the badger. Nail broken immediately; saved and quit, added healing rate 1000 to nails to prevent Infect-Death Syndrome preemptively. Because fuck that. Badger was immediately killed via chokehold and bite-to-the-brain, corpse added to inventory. Immediately fast-traveled a single tile to insta-heal. Stopped, butchered badger for food. Current inventory: Waterskin, sea lamprey leather (3/3), sea nettle jellyfish (3), honey badger meat (7), honey badger brain, tripe, liver, intestines, lungs (2), copper spear, copper dagger. Clothing: Braies, socks, shoes (alpaca wool); skirt, dress, robe (rope reed fiber); turban (turkey leather); gloves (raccoon leather); backpack (sheep wool). Returned in ambush mode to river, swam in ambush mode until nightfall.))



((Day 03-- Technically night of 02, as I slept for only 7 hours instead of default 8 to save time, and awoke in the middle of the night. Man, a sundial would be great in DF. Anyway. Used wacky adventurer physics to empty waterskin on ground, creating "a pool of water", allowing me to refill my waterskin to full after having drunk from it first, and then take some water in my fist for good measure. Re-enter sneak mode, return to river. Close to legendary swimming, soon water speed will surpass land speed, allowing for even greater sneak training. However.... this is where things get interesting for the first time. Keep in mind, as you read these next events... that my Pandora radiostation had just switched to Unholy Warcry -- Rhapsody of Fire.))

Jasro had spent a couple of days around the outskirts of his hometown of Scaldedbrand hunting for food, and swimming nonstop in the river, both to keep cool and to train up his muscles. It was a good thing, too, because he would need the preparation and training for what would happen next. It was the night of the second day. Jasro had gotten tired early in the evening, and took a nap to recover his stamina. Before he knew it, it was nighttime, and he had slept for what could be considered a full night's sleep. Annoyed, he stormed out and back into the river, set to continue his training. He would not lay around the house and waste time and he would not simply sleep it away either.

Perhaps he should have. For while he knew of such things as goblins and vampires, and vampire goblins, and even maulings by wild animals, nothing could have prepared him for what he encountered that night.

As Jasro swam in the river, he simply could not shake this uneasy feeling that something was... off, somehow. He kept looking up at the stars for guidance, if only to know how much longer until dawn, when he would have more vision, but the moon offered no hints as to when it would be disappearing. And then the silence of the night was broken by the most hideous of laughter. It did not sound like any civilized being Jasro had ever heard of; in fact, the closest thing Jasro could think of was a pack of feral hyenas. But even hyenas would have whimpered and backed off from this wretched din. It was not even a true laughter, it was some sort of fell, distorted, menacing cackling that almost sounded demonic in origin.

Jasro turned his head to identify the source of the noise, but it came from all sides, as if he were surrounded by whatever beings were emitting this unnerving echo. He was in the middle of the river, and his first instinct was to escape the water, not interested in whatever these things were selling. Bad idea. He was rather stealthy, but as he reached the eastern shore, he literally bumped into one of these cackling fiends. It looked relatively humanoid in shape, though human it was not. It was difficult to see well in the night, made worse by its grey skin, but a few of the more distinctive features included its fell claws, the single eye in the center of its forehead, and the thin, wrinkled wings protruding from its back. He immediately jumped backwards, almost as if watching a tape rewinding, but not before catching a couple punches from the obviously hostile creature. Further, as he retreated, not only did his foe pursue, but three more of its buddies approached from behind. Some of them were winged and some were not, some had one eye while some had two, some had antannae and some did not; some had skin and some had scales, but while they were clearly not all of the same "species", they clearly came from the same source: the night. And they came to spread the fear of it.

Jasro had grown up around stories, almost jokings, about "don't go out at night or the bogeyman will eat you." Now he knew; they were not mere folktales to scare the children into obedience. They were real. And Jasro was not interested in finding out if they had a taste for human flesh or merely liked to kill people for fun and games.

Confirmation that Jasro's swimming training had, in fact, made him faster in the water than these ugly beasts, though, gave him the courage to take them on. Further, as if that alone wasn't enough... stepping back further from the now-soaked creature, the moon peeked out from behind a cloud, and cast its light on one creature in particular, standing behind the bogeyman who had taken a swing at him.



((Screenshots because I couldn't make this up if I tried. I was going to just run away from the bogeys and get to the choppah a house and stay for the night, but. Seeing the toad occupying the tile the Bogeyman had just been standing.... It was fate. Besides, if I let a bunch of scraggly weaklings strike me down, I'm not fit to avenge Smige in the first place. At least that was my line of thought for Jasro. So.... let the games begin!))

It was on in a flash.

No quarter. No regret. No remorse.

No survivors.

Jasro took a swing at the nearest bogeyman, causing it to jump back. While it was nimble enough to dodge, neither it nor any of the others were getting any closer, and in fact confirmed Jasro's theory that he would be at a much greater advantage by staying in the water, as his speed was higher. Two more bogeymen showed up, both winged creatures--one of which was quite rotund. ((No horned bogeys, yet, at least.)) The one he had swung at had taken to the air, showing off their aerial superiority. However, they would eventually still have to come within range to attack him. Bogeymen didn't spit acid, right?

Speaking of which. Reminded of tales of infamy, Jasro hurled water at one approaching bogey to drive it back. The curious thing about water, and other small objects, was that if it was thrown hard enough, the small surface area could compensate for the minimal mass and total bluntness by propelling itself into one's brain like a bullet. And Jasro was in a sea of bullets. While the odds of actually striking, much less killing, a bogeyman like this was low, the likelyhood was that they would spend time dodging, allowing him to pick them off one at a time, at his leisure. Or perhaps they would get tired and flee. Either was a victory for him.

Jasro took graceful steps backwards in the water, hurling deadly fast splashes of water at the bogeymen every chance he got, and taking a shot at the close ones with his spear when he had clean shots. Every time his "ammo" ran out, he would scoop his waterskin through the river, filling it back up instantly, and hurl another burst at one of his foes. Finally, his patience rewards him as one of his shots, instead of splashing around the bogeyman, pierces through the skin, shattering the bone in his hand. The fell creature howls in pain, and pursues, only to receive a jab with a spear (he dodged) and a nimble dodge from the fledgling adventurer. As of this moment. Jasro was officially a man, a naive child no longer. In that moment, under the twinkling stars, surrounded by hellish beasts from the shadows, the toad looking on at him, he shouted to all who would hear: now, the night would know why it feared HIM.

More and more of them began to show signs of damage from the assault. A bogeyman had its leg broken by flying water. One had its skull bruised from a rather square shot. Jasro was merciless and relentless, never faltering in his assault. It was the spirit of revenge possessing his body, augmenting his arms and legs, guiding him to the destruction of this, his first of many foes, on his way to claim vengeance in the name of his deceased sister.

The fight continued on into the night. Frankly, Jasro was outnumbered and outclassed, and should have made a break for the homes. He did not, however, because, while the tiny still-rational part of his mind knew it was a not-insignificant distance to the nearest house, the rest of him was overcome with rage and hatred for these creatures. They made a mockery of him with every step, every dodge, every missed punch. He could not understand their farce of a language, but it was painfully obvious, the intent. And it was fuel on the fire.

By this time, Jasro was getting desperate and frustrated. He wanted a decisive end to this all. He had become bolder, taking more and more strikes at the bogeymen. None of them connected, and one even was met with a counterstrike, punched in his own hand. Once more he resumed the deadly dance, weaving away from oncoming attacks, launching ranged spittle at them, even bruising a few bones (including one's spine) over time. But they were not faltering. Jasro had taken much less damage than them, but it was clear that these things would not tire. He would need to end this decisively, or risk passing out from inevitable exhaustion. At least he had awoken fresh, so he would be fighting with the maximum stamina--of which he had no shortage--but it was still a possibility that he wished to avoid, as it would be such a foolish way to die.

Finally, it happened. One of the bogeymen doubled over in pain, his ribs shattered from a particularly well-aimed strike. This is it, thought Jasro. I can beat these guys.

One of the other bogeys, the one who had its hand broken previously, found itself the target of Jasro's wrath. It pursued him more relentlessly than the others, perhaps insulted that it had been struck and wounded, and was met with a sharp blow to the chest, winding it, bruising the lung. Another shot shattered some of its ribs as well. Now, he was bleeding, and the scent of the blood was in the water. It was foul, the blood of the beast, but the rich iron-tinted flashes of color billowing in the water only further excited the spirit of revenge that had taken hold of him.

At one point, all six bogeymen were lined up in a straight line, allowing him to hurl a blast and scatter them all, striking one in the process. At another, they had all been herded into a neat little box, for easy firing. Another set of ribs cracked under the assault. Finally, it happened. Another rib broke, but this time, the tainted blood gushed forth from the wound, the shattered bone protruding from its feathered form, the other end lodged in its heart. The wound was fatal; it would bleed out in time. Jasro howled, a fell, unholy warcry splitting the sky, declaring victory over the night. It bled out soon after, and another one had its foot broken from a well-aimed strike.

Suddenly, one of the bogeys got in a lucky shot. A kick to the mouth, knocking some teeth loose. Jasro let loose a primal screech that made his previous fury look like a tame kitten playing with a ball of yarn in comparison. He wasn't in pain, though. Not as much as he was absolutely enraged. More bones shattered. Jasro was worried for a split second when an errant punch caught him in the chest, knocking the wind out of him, but he was able to step back and regain his breath, noting that he was not wounded badly enough to withdraw from the fight. It was starting to get serious now. He had already taken one of them with him, however just being in the water now was affecting his stamina. He was wearing out from that blow, and now was time to retreat for now. Booking it to the east, running for the houses as fast as he could while struggling to breathe, he came across a field of berries, and set them ablaze as he ran.

Unable to keep too far ahead of the bogeymen, he setteld for using the fire to finish them. Recalling how they were never seen during the day, Jasro surmised it must be the light that keeps them at bay. Waiting until they were right on top of the berries, Jasro ignited them, the fire surrounding them and keeping them paralyzed with fear. One by one, they slowly melted and burned to death. Satisfied, Jasro went to sleep, for the last time, as his airway finally collapsed on itself, unable to support itself from the damage to his lungs.

And then he woke up in the house he fell asleep in.

"What? Wh-where am I?"

"You fell asleep in the river, son! Had to pull you out and bring you here to rest. It's not safe to be out at night, you know!"

"Yeah... I gathered..."

((Well. One retconned bad end so far, but I think I did non-bad. And at least I was good enough to save. Turns out that I can just barely outrun the boogies, so I made it to a house right away when I reloaded and fought exactly zero boogies. But that's fine, I can get vengeance later. Thus ends the first part. Stay tuned for more!))