- GRANITE - early spring -Just arrived at this fortress. Nice volcano site, I see, as I climb the somewhat rocky 30 feet to the entrance. At this point I realize that it was a trick of my eyes... the entrance is actually about 150 feet from the ground. Who do they think I am? These dwarven knees have seen better days.
Anyways, I arrive and see an orderly if somewhat haphazard layout for our people. Plenty of farms, an impressive military for a two-year old fortress, and plenty of artisans busy at work. Just the kind of fortress for me to ignore while I pursue pointless projects.
Ah, the joys of government.
...
Jesus Christ there are a lot of cats here.
Sorry animal lovers, but sacrifices must be made for the greater good. None of us want to think of the consequences of a catsplosion on top of a volcano, do we?
Just assigned 16 kittens for slaughter at the butcher's and I've never felt better.
Queued up a boatload of mechanisms and iron trap components. There's a decent startup military, but we won't want to guess whether the first siege will be 20 or 60 goblins. Time to install something a little bit more effective and a bit more cruel.
I've ordered the "engineers" to search all over the fortress for the lever that controls the main gate, but they all either ignore me or tell me they don't know. Don't know why my predecessor would choose to hide the button to the front door, but I'll go ahead and build a new one.
No cage traps in the entrance? These dwarves are either very brave or very stupid. Either way, this hellhole of a volcano is starting to grow on me.
- Slate -
These mining projects are NOT happening fast enough. From here on out, any dwarf seen lollygaggin is IMMEDIATELY pressed into mining duty! Babes-at-breast are no excuse.
Sorry buddy. You will live on as a totem.
Respect to my predecessors for building a working magma forge system in the first two years. Now to get these weaponsmiths to stop drinking and actually use them...
Now this is certainly unexpected. Now that I think about it, the previous overseer did seem to be in an unusual hurry to leave. How do I enable the private detective job...
Hopefully the above picture makes it clear that the mass euthenasia is actually a humanitarian mission.
Much apologies to Ozarck, who was standing at the depot since I took over this fort out in the rain. You've been released from your post and are gratefully going to take a long drink break.
Did I mention my predecessors did a nice job?
Um... this is unusual...
- Felsite -
Well, that human came and left. Don't know why the locals made such a big deal about some lousy human passing through the land. Ah, what can you expect from country dwarves like this.
The elves have shown up to trade. Tempted to just take all of their wood and animals at sword point, but we'll wait until the defenses are finished being dug.
- Hematite -
SUMMER IS HERE!
The digging goes deeper on the cliffs of insanity. The goblins will not be given a warm welcome.
Ok, time to finally trade with these elf bastards. Hopefully they brought something more useful this time than wooden armor.
Whoops.
Honestly, is there anything wrong with the world that some large, serrated iron discs couldn't solve?
Basic outer defenses are coming alone nicely.
- Malachite -
A bit of digging on the entrance to the mountain will go a long way in seeing threats before they arrive. The archers are getting a nice box built above.
Aw man not again.
- Galena -
GOOD.
Yay just in time to test out the new defenses! Everyone inside!
Oh you fuckers have no idea what you're in for. Ick, they brought a jabberer... hopefully they don't like five story falls. For now they're content to chase my livestock, but to be honest I never really cared much for sheep.
...huh?
Goddamn my head hurts... must have been out for a while. SOME of us are more than 4'3" thank you very much. Note to self: find the miner that carved these stairs and have him/her executed.
Anyway. Apparently there's goblins?
Whatever. My head hurts too much to think about them, and it seems the most of them made it into the cage traps I threw by the postern gate. Didn't get that bridge finished, but looks like I didn't really need to.
Let's go ahead and start digging a nice home for our new caged friends...
- Limestone -
Well, I've been ignoring the invaders for the most part, and they've been getting themselves killed or incapacitated plenty fine on their own. There's one lone hammerman wandering the cliffs now, and I can't tell if he wants to lay his life down in stupidity or run away. Either way, gotta keep the gates closed until then.
Digging on a new military area is underway.
...
Hurry up and make up your mind asshole, my archers are getting thirsty.
Whatever. Archers off duty, enjoy your well-deserved break. Although you don't have to come up to me one by one and announce your previous professions to me... I get it. It's ok.
Looks like Snodub Stasostusle has decided to attack after all. Probably saw the archers go home and figured it was a free-for-all. If only he could see his 14 caged comrades right over the fortress wall...
Apparently Snodub is now frozen in fear. He probably sees the cliffs of insanity before him, hears his comrades cries and knows they are destined to die in the dwarfiest of ways, but yet, cannot turn back. Snodub knows that if he returns from this battle and abandoned his comrades, his father will never speak to him again.
Oh well, lower the gates, send out the soldiers.
So, there goes that goblin invasion, time to take a look downstairs... WHAT?! WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU'VE BEEN COOKING THE BOOZE?!
The cook has been sentenced to a shameful beating, and priorities have been restored on this floor. Disaster averted.
Yes... yes... dig, my pretties...
Annoyed by how little plant material for booze there is. Order a gigantic field planted in the middle of the archery range. SWORDS TO PLOWSHARES.
Um... I'm going to guess by the presence of Sigun Tathurmonom floating next to me, that my predecessors neglected to build a graveyard. No worries, I'll, uh, get to that now sir.
- Sandstone -
Looks like the existing noble bedrooms and offices are built in the dirt, so I see my forebears were of the more... socialist mentality. ReaverAxis in particular complains to me about it every day. Either way, we'll all get nice proper stone quarters once the new military-industrial complex is finished.
Enacting a more draconian rule on the cat population control. Now, any cat or kitten not currently having any dwarven dependents will be euthanized.
Oh my, no wonder the new beds aren't being built. We've been fresh out of wood for a while! Funny how a magma forge makes you forget about wood. Anyway, just designated the entire mountain above the fort for chopping - hopefully there won't be any giant eagles around.
You nobles are going to LOVE your new rooms!
- Timber -
YAY DWARVEN CARAVAN!
WHAT NO WHY NO
0 for 2 on the caravans.
Wow, again? Really?
The legacy of Snodub's bravery has indeed lived on amongst the goblin people, and now a mighty war jabberer bears his name. This looks to be an interesting siege.
Wait, that was only the first two waves. Oh my.
This doesn't look good for ANYONE involved (that's a goblin riding a cave crocodile by the way).
And just like that, the cliffs of insanity claim their first victim.
The archery booth seems to be working well - this siege has just caused two marksdwarves to become elite so far.
- Moonstone -
Winter arrives with my archers still pelting rains of arrows down at the bastards at the bottom of the cliff.
The archers and outer cage traps have done their work well, but now it's time to retreat back to the inner defenses and try to shoot some goblins off cliffs.
Meanwhile the dwarven caravan is getting slaughtered. Yay, free goods!
Perfect.
The few stragglers that stuck around got hunted down. Good to know an invasion force of 80 with at least a dozen war jabberers is no match for Gravecinders. CLEANUP TIME!
My only wish as overseer is to see the execution chamber ready in time.
Ahh, the bountiful harvest of dwarfite. Every single bin they're bringing in is SOAKED in blood.
After a nice break where I sampled the local dwarven beer/wine/ale/rum, it's time to finish my projects. Feel proud to have defended against some scary monsters.
We still have lots of caged prisoners. These foul creatures tried to desecrate our homelands. They will be given no mercy.
- Opal -
The winter drags on. Our (slightly) wounded dwarves, bent on revenge, toil on instruments bent on the caged intruders' destruction.
The invaders are currently being given their fair trial. Cheetah votes acquittal, but is overruled by pig and dog. Let the execution begin.
The end of my reign is marked with much trauma. Thankfully most of it hasn't been directed to the citizens of this fine fort.
Hurry up your bastards I'm running out of time!
- Obsidian -
Aw hell, I'm gonna miss this place.
That being said, I'm a man of caution and there's been one too many jabberers running around for my taste.
My only goal was to have a big public viewing of the execution of two waves of prisoners, but the miners seem reluctant. Look, it's for your own good, OK?
Yet another victim taken to the vampire. My successor, you will probably need to deal with this.
The front walls have been temporarily torn apart to accomodate for wagons.
Like, whatever.
The goblins are taking out most of our livestock, but on the bright side that means that meat is back on the menu.
Our current situation is 3 goblin bowmen picking off the remaining llamas while everyone works happily away inside. To be honest, we never needed them anyway.
OH DIBS SO HARD.
Haven't even bothered to carve my own bedroom yet! Well, with 4 days left of my reign, I will carve out my quarters and lay claim to Amalkon. To my predecessor, perhaps I will stay after all, just come ask if you need help with the execution / archer training / population desensitizing chamber.
Well, it's been fun, Gravecinders.
To my successor, please put me in nice quarters with my iron cabinet Amalkon. I've decided to stick around after all.
SAVE:
http://www.theicaruskid.com/bees/Cyclopian_Succession3.zip