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[Dwarmin]

((I'm pretty sure you want me to jump off so somebody can rhino the Wurm into one of the pillars, right? But that'd be pretty self explanatory, considered the resulting rock collapse would flatten half the party anyway...

Lucky this is an RP game, and cinematic moves win out over realistic ones.

Also, the wurm is about to get something like a sewing needle hammered into it's skin if I succeed. It may be small, but if that thing feels pain, it's about to get a bowlful. That can only help with the distraction.))

[Parsely]

((I'm pretty sure you want me to jump off so somebody can rhino the Wurm into one of the pillars, right? But that'd be pretty self explanatory, considered the resulting rock collapse would flatten half the party anyway...))

I don't railroad, even if I really want something to happen, unless someone is being really stupid (whether they know it or not! ). I never ever ever plan ahead on these things. I'm making it up per turn as I see fit, so whatever you guys decide to do, I'll be reacting to it.

I don't really like it when people say out loud what they think is going to happen, because sometimes I'll be writing the turn and it'll be exactly whats going to happen, so then I have to go back and delete everything and start over in order to foil everyone's expectations (that hasn't happened very often, and not once in this particular thread). Except sometimes I don't, if I can't think of anything better to have happen instead.

I don't really have a modus operandi. I just do it however I want while remaining within the flimsy boundaries that I have erected around myself in that particular game thread.

Off-T: Say, is my avatar rotating properly, or is it getting stuck on the same image? Refresh a couple times and make sure, if you would be so kind. I really want the thing to work, but I'm not sure if it is this time, or if its stuck on that image of a green-haired girl.

[Dwarmin]

((@Guin: All I see is purple haired girl, and the rest blank images))

[Parsely]

((@Guin: All I see is purple haired girl, and the rest blank images))

Bloody hell.

[Zako]

"THIS WAY! LURE IT NEXT TO THE FALLEN PILLAR!" Edwin shouted as he led the way to the pillar, waving her to follow so to get her attention. He had the best weapon here against this creature, and he would need to move fast if he was going to put it to good effect. Now he had to trust Claire in what she needed to do.

Lead Claire towards the fallen pillar and climb ontop of it. Focus myself when I'm in position, and when the worm is passing, jump ontop of it and stab the creature with my blade. Then run down it's length while dragging my dagger through its flesh to create a MASSIVE slash and disembowel the beast!

[Parsely]

I will update soon!

[Parsely]

Wait, I can't update. I need scapheap and Ross' turns.

[Cheesecake]

Quick! Someone PM them!

Or

To the Delinquent Players Thread!

[Parsely]

Quick! Someone PM them!

Or

To the Delinquent Players Thread!

[scapheap]

Run toward the elf.

[Parsely]

Dwarmin
You try to lean down and use your rock to hammer the stub of the lance further in, but there aren't any handholds on the wurm's smooth wet skin, and you nearly lose your balance. Somehow you still manage to remain mounted.

scapheap
You run from the wurm toward Edwin, who you can see climbing on top of a nearby pillar. You ignore him and keep running. A few seconds later you hear the beast roar and turn. You stop running as you watch it struggle to throw Tali and Edwin from its back, but they hang on, stabbing it with the sword you found earlier.

Ross Vernal
---

Zako
You climb on top of the pillar as soon as Claire begins to near you. You leap just as the wurm passes, and land right on its back. You turn to face Tali and invert your sword, and together you drive it into the wurm's back. The wurm slows a bit, and roars angrily. You and Tali work the blade back and forth, widening the cut into a large gash. Blood pours from the wound and the wurm struggles helplessly, unable to dislodge you from its back. You and Tali hang on, stabbing at the wurm's guts, ripping and tearing at whatever either of you can get your hands on. After more than twenty minutes of this, the beast finally goes still.

You defeated the Giga Wurm!

Everyone gathers round the dead wurm. You're all thinking of Kaltukk, the poor bastard. Claire starts crying again, and Tali kicks at the beast's side. Edwin seems downcast, his eyes averted, and Vlad simply shakes his head.

Then the orc crawls out of the monster's mouth, covered in spit and digestive fluids. You all cheer and laugh, and the orc simply grimaces, his dripping arms held up as he tries to wipe the goo from his eyes.

Spoiler: Cheesecake (click to show/hide)

Name: Kaltukk
Gender: Male
Race: Orc
Appearance: Average orc build. 6"6, blackish-grey skin, mohawk. He bears scars from battles past, one on his eye, another large on on his chest.
Profession: He was a mercenary for quite a while, then joined a professional horde as a basic grunt. He's been to only one battle, but he did good.

Health: Wet
Equipped: Rags, Rotten Leather Boots
Skills: Battle Tactics Proficient, Survival Proficient, Swords Proficient
Inventory: Tribal Totem, a few tiny rocks
Known Magicks: Reinforce I - boost your strength using magical energy; fatigue varies

Spoiler: Ross Vernal (click to show/hide)

Name: Vlad Lamora
Gender: Male
Race: Human
Appearance: Short and slightly built with short, dark brown hair, a mustache, and light grey eyes. He is neither handsome nor memorable.
Profession: Assassin

Health: Fine
Equipped: Rags, Rotten Leather Boots, Dull Iron Bastard Sword
Skills: Swords Proficient, Throwing Proficient, Cooking Proficient, Lockpicking Dabbling
Inventory: Empty
Known Magicks: Catch II - you can slowly absorb energy, such as light; restores fatigue and reduces hunger

Spoiler: scapheap (click to show/hide)

Name: Clair Redfield
Gender: Female
Race: Human
Appearance: A red-headed, green-eyed woman. Her hair is in a short tomboy cut and she has a tattoo of a dull red star on her cheek.
Profession: Shepard

Health: Fine
Equipped: Rags, Rotten Leather Boots
Skills: Staves Proficient, Butchering Proficient, Cloth Mending Proficient
Inventory: Empty
Known Magicks: Repel II - manipulate air into a general or focused blast, pushing the target(s) away; some fatigue

Spoiler: Dwarmin (click to show/hide)

Name: Tali Bluestone
Gender: Female
Race: Dwarf
Appearance: A somewhat shorter than usual, but well muscled Dwarven woman stands before you, with dark black hair done up fashionably and tucked into a single long ponytail cut raggedly short. Piercing copper eyes radiate cunning and a cold intellect, and are framed by long, emotive eyebrows that give her a slightly unsettling demeanor, even after being imprisoned.
Profession: Explorer

Health: Fine
Equipped: Rags, Rotten Leather Boots, Sturdy Footman's Helm, Flimsy Leather Cuirass, Shivered Lance
Skills: Navigation Proficient, Pole Arms Proficient, Herbology Proficient, Architecture Dabbling
Inventory: Lucky Coin, Bloody Cobblestone

Spoiler: Zako (click to show/hide)

Name: Edwin Malfonse
Gender: Male
Race: Elf
Appearance: Edwin has short cropped dark brown hair, green eyes and lightly tanned skin. He stands at typical elf height, 5' 4'', has a thin and wiry build that's thin even for an elf and seems almost eternally smudged with a small covering of dirt. He seems almost at home here, strangely enough.
Profession: Professional Thief

Health: Terrified, Panicking
Equipped: Rags, Rotten Leather Boots, Shattered Iron Shortsword, Sturdy Footman's Helm, Small Iron Buckler
Skills: Stealth Proficient, Thievery Proficient, Daggers Proficient, Lockpicking Dabbling
Inventory: Sturdy Lockpick, Coiled Iron Chain w/ Cuff, several small stones

[Cheesecake]

Wipe slime off me. Contemplate how I survived. Rip out a tooth and use it as a dagger or sword (depending on its size) and wonder if the carapace would make good armor.

[Parsely]

Wipe slime off me. Contemplate how I survived. Rip out a tooth and use it as a dagger or sword (depending on its size) and wonder if the carapace would make good armor.

No carapace. Its just big and squishy. Like an earth worm. But yeah, you'll totally rip out one of his teeth next turn.

[scapheap]

"Y-you crazy, you know."

[Dwarmin]

Tali laughs, doing a Dwarven jig in the giant worms guts.

...

"...all right, I call dibs on prime cuts. Wurm meats tastiest in the end quarters, nice and chewy-it's tougher up front and softer in back. So if you want crunchy, look near the head, if you want savory, look near the back.

You can also eat their hearts and gizzards, mmmm. I mean plural, they've got a few. Foods for everyone, and I wish we had  fire going..."

...

"And if you're wondering why you didn't die, Orc, it's all in how the Wurm is built..."

She proceeds to show the group a minor anatomy lesson, walking the length of the wurm-explaining that despite the wurms ferocious 'teeth', it doesn't actually chew it's food with them.

"It uses these choppers to dig through dirt and soft rock. They're not really super sharp, but tough and hard to break. Wurms almost always swallow their food whole.

Good ol' Kaluktukk there got swallowed, and he hit this ugly thing here..." She says, motioning to a large, deflated balloon like object.

"That's the Wurms 'crop', where it keeps the food it swallows. Let's call it Stomach One. Someone should take a look in there-stuff might be left behind from whoever it ate up before. Minerals and stuff stay here to get spit out, but the food gets sent on."

She moves on, pointing to a tough, sack like object trailing behind the crop. It was studded with tiny stone nubs on the inside.

"That's the gizzard. Kalukk was more or less okay unless he ran out of air until then, but the gizzard would have squashed him into wurm-jelly. It squeezes and crushes, suffocates and grinds you up."

And behind that, a bunch of...garish party streamers?

"And, that's the intestines. Also good eating, if you can stomach it, haha, you get it. Anyway that'd be the last stop for any productive meal of the wurm before your jelly gets turned into dirt, and passed out the rear end.

...

But, ey, turns out we're gonna eat you instead, huh you beastie?" she said to the dead monster, kicking the wurm once more for good measure. And laughing, of course.

Action: Do a Dwarven victory jig!

And an overly long exposition on worm organs.

...

Then I'll find the tasty parts of the wurm...TALI HUNGRY! And gather some meat for everyone.