Familiar. Good. Easier than I remember. Harder than I remember. Enjoyable. Kind of demanding.
I am used to free-form roleplay where it's basically me playing the entire opposing side, where there are no dice ruling actions. So it's not something brand new for me. And I have to say, I like it. I get to see you guys come up with ideas, express and develop your characters, and interact. I get to have you guys ask me questions about the universe and give answers. Heck, I even get to see it from new angles. I like challenges, and this certainly counts as one.
This is a
lot easier because I don't have to go about the process of envisioning the combat in great detail and thinking up a variety of counters, tricks, and schemes. There's less pressure on me to insert lengthy prose, or to constantly have to adapt to a new person doing something game-changing halfway through a reply. Also, I don't have a DMPC and play both sides against myself.
It's harder because I have to think of numbers for things. I have to think of when I throw the numbers out the window for the sake of realism, or when to say "Reality can suck it, I'm doing this my way." It's also harder because in said freeform, I knew most of the folks who got in on the events, or they knew the people I knew, usually for
years. I also don't quite have as much control, if you will; when in freeform, my DMPC filled a "leadership" role and I could herd people in the direction I had planned. Not that y'all have done things that made me go "Wait,
what?"
...yet, because I know for a fact that at least one of you is going to. It's inevitable.
It's kind of demanding because I do have to think of individual quests for all of you, and update with some regularity on a near-daily basis. Also, I have to answer your questions. Which is fine, be curious, by all means, I like that.
It's an interesting example of cooperation and competition. We're writing a story together in which the lot of you work together to overcome all of the obstacles I put in your path. In a sense, yes, I am against you. I want your characters to earn their rewards. I want to see them suffer and change while remaining true to themselves. I want them to feel the despair and hopelessness that comes from a moment of being utterly fucked. I want them to face bitter defeat and to rise against the odds to seize victory in an impossible situation. I want to see your characters rise up and change this shared universe in their own way, whether it's to be infamous, legendary, or a fond memory of the survivors. I want you guys (and the lurkers) to believe in the characters to the point where they aren't just words and fictional concepts, but actual
people.
And then there's you guys, too. In this, I am hoping that y'all can develop as roleplayers and writers, just as I develop as a DM and a writer. I kind of hope that we-all end up becoming acquainted as people, not just players. I mean, heck, Xero is a very good friend of mine, and I have the roleplaying to thank for that. I'd be tickled pink to know that through narrating your character, you find out more about yourself.
I suppose the easiest way to say it is "I'm here to make people happy by doing stuff I like to think I'm good at." That's pretty much it, really. It makes me glad to know I made others happy, because I know firsthand how hard it is to find joy in real life.