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Author Topic: What if Michelle Bachmann were president?  (Read 18335 times)

misko27

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Re: What if we all woke up tomorrow and it was 1993?
« Reply #30 on: May 16, 2013, 10:59:11 pm »

[REDACTED]
« Last Edit: March 25, 2014, 03:17:11 pm by misko27 »
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Solifuge

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Re: What if we all woke up tomorrow and it was 1993?
« Reply #31 on: May 16, 2013, 11:02:09 pm »

what if everyone woke up tomorrow and it was 1993 again? Assume you retain your 2013 age. Bill Clinton is newly President, the Internet (insofar as there is one) is a toy for university science departments, and the most cutting-edge games available are SimCity 2000 and Doom.

Go.

Honestly? I would drop everything, and immediately track down a theoretical physicist at a university, and explain to them what happened. If I didn't have any futuristic doodads on me (cellphone, GPS, solar watch, or whatever), I'd prove myself by talking about all the cool and entirely plausible inventions that are commonplace these days and the mechanics behind which they work... and if that's not enough, I'll start predicting events that will happen, songs that will be written, etc. Once I've got them convinced, I'll do my best to help them understand what happened to allow me to go back in time, so that some day, the event can be recreated and controlled.

In the meantime, I'd try to capitalize on my fame as "That guy who came back from the future"... build a name for myself until I show up on talk-shows, chat about how amazing things will be, maybe warning everyone to help avoid a crisis or two, that sort of thing. I have to imagine most folks will be skeptical, but at minimum I'd like to try to give folks hope for a bright future.

At some point, I'd have changed the timeline in innumerable little ways which will probably make for a different future, so my predictive powers will become less and less accurate. Through all this, I'd avoid letting anyone know my actual identity, so I don't mess up my past-self, and don't get him singled out by folks who think they can kill kid-me and mess with causality. I might try to help my family out still, approaching them as my dad's long-lost biological kid-brother or something, work to help them make ends meet so the stress doesn't drive them to some of the bad things that happened later on. That sort of thing.
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Xantalos

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Re: What if we all woke up tomorrow and it was 1993?
« Reply #32 on: May 16, 2013, 11:17:40 pm »

Delay the date which I travel back in time to several years from now so I can study up on what happens.
Prevent bad stuff (9/11, Bush, etc).
Done.
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RedWarrior0

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Re: What if we all woke up tomorrow and it was 1993?
« Reply #33 on: May 17, 2013, 12:04:23 am »

I would buy so many packs of Magic cards, you don't even know. Be rollin' in Black Lotuses.
Eh, just 10 signed copies would be good, if kept in the dark in mint condition. And a playset, of course. And then, assuming we get to Eighth edition or so, start sending in anonymous tips about cards that would end badly.

I'd also invest in Google and Apple, of course, and all that nice stuff
« Last Edit: May 17, 2013, 12:08:51 am by RedWarrior0 »
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Loud Whispers

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Re: What if we all woke up tomorrow and it was 1993?
« Reply #34 on: May 17, 2013, 02:32:06 am »

I'm not sure whether it would be against the rules to make investments.

Just don't violate too much causality.
Screw that. You've just been presented with a brilliant opportunity, why waste it?

Research into how you got back in time. Notes, notes everywhere. Abuse all the economic bubbles and destroy all modern corporations before they existed. Fracture modern media empires at the seams, stabilize governments and lobby against entering pointless conflicts.
You know what, run for leader of a country. You've got plenty of time to, and with your knowledge you could keep your country aloof amidst economic strife.

Guardian G.I.

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Re: What if we all woke up tomorrow and it was 1993?
« Reply #35 on: May 17, 2013, 03:19:08 am »

Things to do in 1993
1. Realize that luckily I have my smartphone. Realize that I don't have the charger for my smartphone. Conserve battery energy.
2. Try not to get mugged when walking around 1993 Belarus.
3. Go to my dad, tell him I'm his son from the future, prove my words by showing him his photos stored on my phone.
4. Follow the evening news.
5. Note the news report on attempted assasination of George W. Bush by some lunatics claiming to be time travellers from the future.
6. Laugh at resulting anti-time traveller mass hysteria and paranoia in the US.
7. Be genuinely concerned when Google and Apple lose money and go out of business because of their involvement with time traveller terrorists.
8. Be genuinely concerned when George W. Bush is chosen to be 1996 Republican presidential candidate. ("Terrorists from the future tried to kill me because in the future I'll become a great leader!")
9. Be even more geniunely concerned when George W. Bush wins the elections with a landslide victory.
10. Be worried when on the 11th of September 1997 some unknown terrorists hijack several passenger planes and direct them at some US landmarks.
11. Be worried when George W. Bush reacts to terrorist act by unknown terrorists by launching nukes at random locations.
12. See the bright flash outside.
13. Vaporize.
« Last Edit: May 17, 2013, 03:39:16 am by Guardian G.I. »
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Max White

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Re: What if we all woke up tomorrow and it was 1993?
« Reply #36 on: May 17, 2013, 03:21:41 am »

Welp... We killed Guardian. If only there was a way that we could have known!

DrPoo

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Re: What if we all woke up tomorrow and it was 1993?
« Reply #37 on: May 17, 2013, 03:23:59 am »

Cause the inextricable desutrction of all global superpowers by starting the Third World War through a false flag attack.
Also prevent my birth.
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MetalSlimeHunt

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Re: What if we all woke up tomorrow and it was 1993?
« Reply #38 on: May 17, 2013, 03:29:35 am »

Welp... We killed Guardian. If only there was a way that we could have known!
We all could have had everything go fine if you all had just gone with my plan to discredit Ralph Nader, but no, nobody ever listens to MetalSlimeHunt. You people have obviously never planned how you'd retroactively change history before.
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Neyvn

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Re: What if we all woke up tomorrow and it was 1993?
« Reply #39 on: May 17, 2013, 03:30:42 am »

Go actually do the things I wish I could have done back then...
1: Get better Job, ffs getting tired of current employment systems of hiring young or over qualified people only...
2: Learn German from my Grandfather, he still could remember it all back then...
3: Convince grandparents to stop smoking, both Grandfathers are being effected by their smoking habits in present time...
4: Stocks. Invest in stocks...

Thats it prob...
Oh and most likely, Buy a lot of land when it was "cheaper"...
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MetalSlimeHunt

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Re: What if we all woke up tomorrow and it was 1993?
« Reply #40 on: May 17, 2013, 03:33:26 am »

Thats it prob...
Oh and most likely, Buy a lot of land when it was "cheaper"...
Get as many NINA loans as possible before 2008. Funnel all the money into a tax haven and default during the financial crisis.
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Quote from: Thomas Paine
To argue with a man who has renounced the use and authority of reason, and whose philosophy consists in holding humanity in contempt, is like administering medicine to the dead, or endeavoring to convert an atheist by scripture.
Quote
No Gods, No Masters.

Guardian G.I.

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Re: What if we all woke up tomorrow and it was 1993?
« Reply #41 on: May 17, 2013, 04:12:32 am »

Welp... We killed Guardian. If only there was a way that we could have known!
We all could have had everything go fine if you all had just gone with my plan to discredit Ralph Nader, but no, nobody ever listens to MetalSlimeHunt. You people have obviously never planned how you'd retroactively change history before.
Why Ralph Nader?
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this means that a donation of 30 dollars to a developer that did not deliver would equal 4.769*10^-14 hitlers stolen from you
that's like half a femtohitler
and that is terrible
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MetalSlimeHunt

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Re: What if we all woke up tomorrow and it was 1993?
« Reply #42 on: May 17, 2013, 04:25:15 am »

Welp... We killed Guardian. If only there was a way that we could have known!
We all could have had everything go fine if you all had just gone with my plan to discredit Ralph Nader, but no, nobody ever listens to MetalSlimeHunt. You people have obviously never planned how you'd retroactively change history before.
Why Ralph Nader?
In the 2000 presidential election, Ralph Nader was the candidate for the Green Party and ran a particularly successful campaign for an American third party candidate, garnering 2,882,955 votes, which works out to 2.74% of the total vote. Being from the Green Party, he drained these votes almost entirely from people who would otherwise vote Democrat.

By sabotaging his campaign, if not outright forcing his resignation from the race through scandals (or alternatively, trying to make him aware of the situation and getting a voluntary resignation and endorsement of Gore) the votes garnered by Gore will be more than sufficient to defeat Bush.
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Quote from: Thomas Paine
To argue with a man who has renounced the use and authority of reason, and whose philosophy consists in holding humanity in contempt, is like administering medicine to the dead, or endeavoring to convert an atheist by scripture.
Quote
No Gods, No Masters.

Mech#4

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Re: What if we all woke up tomorrow and it was 1993?
« Reply #43 on: May 17, 2013, 04:52:11 am »

That is actually one HELL of an idea for a game...

Here's that card game I was blabbing about before. It's pretty fun, though I believe the rules are a little odd in some places.

http://www.looneylabs.com/games/chrononauts
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Max White

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Re: What if we all woke up tomorrow and it was 1993?
« Reply #44 on: May 17, 2013, 05:00:16 am »

In the 2000 presidential election, Ralph Nader was the candidate for the Green Party and ran a particularly successful campaign for an American third party candidate, garnering 2,882,955 votes, which works out to 2.74% of the total vote. Being from the Green Party, he drained these votes almost entirely from people who would otherwise vote Democrat.

By sabotaging his campaign, if not outright forcing his resignation from the race through scandals (or alternatively, trying to make him aware of the situation and getting a voluntary resignation and endorsement of Gore) the votes garnered by Gore will be more than sufficient to defeat Bush.
So what you are saying is that if you could time travel to any year, you would educate the founding fathers on the evils of First Past the Post?
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