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[GreatWyrmGold]

((gtg for mother's day meal, someone else needs to take over the GM role for a bit. for convenience, the Gold Dragon is on page 84 of the monster manual, great wyrms are colossal size, and can cast equivalently to a 19th level sorcerer. their breath weapons are a cone of fire, and a cone of weakening gas. a great wyrm's weakening gas does 12 points of strength damage to anyone who fails their saving throw, which is enough to kill your average human, but not signifigantly above-average ones (who will simply be totally crippled.))

They're also Lawful Good.

[Xantalos]

((gtg for mother's day meal, someone else needs to take over the GM role for a bit. for convenience, the Gold Dragon is on page 84 of the monster manual, great wyrms are colossal size, and can cast equivalently to a 19th level sorcerer. their breath weapons are a cone of fire, and a cone of weakening gas. a great wyrm's weakening gas does 12 points of strength damage to anyone who fails their saving throw, which is enough to kill your average human, but not signifigantly above-average ones (who will simply be totally crippled.))

They're also Lawful Good.

Like that stopped any group of adventurers ever.

[LordSlowpoke]

OH NO THE GM IS GONE

* LordSlowpoke dusts off the book of horrible RTD ideas

[6] JESUS CHRIST THAT BUILDING IS BURNING SO FAST YOU [3] BARELY GET TO THE TOWN HALL BEFORE IT BURNS DOWN COMPLETELY AND BEGIN TRANSMITTING THE FACT YOU NOW OWN THIS INFERNO

[2] THE INFERNO DOES NOT SEEM TO APPROVE [1] AND ITS MORE MAGICALLY INCLINED ELEMENT COMMITS MASS SUICIDE AS AN ACT OF DEFIANCE

[4] JACK IS USEFUL ENOUGH TO LIVE... FOR NOW.

[5] SPACE GET!　[4] JACK SEEMS TO CARE ABOUT BEING IN SPACE, BUT IS MOSTLY UNFAZED.

ＳＴＡＴＵＳ：

－Ｇｒｅａｔ　Ｇｏｌｄ　Ｗｙｒｍ
－Ｉｎ　ｓｐａｃｅ
－Ｏｗｎｓ　ｃｉｔｙ
　＊　Ｃｉｔｙ　ｉｓ　ｏｎ　ｆｉｒｅ
－Ａｌｌｙ：　Ｊｏｈｎ
　＊　Ａｔｔａｃｈｅｄ　ｔｏ　ｔａｉｌ

＞

[Xantalos]

PAINT SELF RED

[Remuthra]

Build a den in the asteroid belt.

[kj1225]

USE JOHN AS A SLEEPER AGENT FOR THE LIBERAL- Oh wait wrong game. Send John to start a cult.

[LordSlowpoke]

GOTTA ROLL FAST

[6] YOU BEGIN PAINTING YOURSELF RED [4] WHILE JANE HAS A RARE MOMENT OF USEFUL INSIGHT.

Spoiler: SHOW INSIGHTLOG (click to show/hide)

Hey, dragonbro. [slurp] You're messing with like, fundamental laws of physics right now. [additional slurping] Don't you know that [expletive redacted] go faster? [fabric rubbing against scales]

[1] WELL FUCK THAT LUDDITE, HE'S ONLY GOOD FOR REMINDING YOU WHY YOU HATE HIM IN THE FIRST PLACE. YOU SEND HIM [3] CRASHING DOWN STRAIGHT BACK INTO THE INFERNO. [?] SHIT, I DON'T KNOW. THAT SIDE OF THE DIE HAD A PEANUT DRAWN ON IT. BACK TO OUR PAIN-

[4] YOU BLAST OFF WITH YOUR ORBITAL VELOCITY INCREASED BY SEVERAL ORDERS OF MAGNITUDE. WHO COULD HAVE THOUGHT. [5] YOU FIND YOURSELF ON A PLANET OF DRAGONS MADE OF GRAVEL ENGAGING IN MATING RITUALS OF THE SORT THAT YOUR OFFICE JOB COULD HAVE NEVER PREPARED YOU FOR. [11+12] YOU BRIEFLY SCREAM OBSCENITIES IN A LANGUAGE YOU DON'T RECOGNIZE. YOUR VOCAL CHORDS HURT SLIGHTLY. [6] LOOK AT YOUR DEN. YOUR DEN IS AMAZING. IT'S SO AMAZING, YOU HAD TO BURROW STRAIGHT THROUGH THE PLANET TO BUILD THE WHOLE THING, BUT GODDAMN IT'S GOT LIKE 300 BEDROOMS!

[2] AND HOW SHOULD YOU KNOW WHAT JACOB IS DOING. THIS IS SILLY.

ＳＴＡＴＵＳ：

－Ｇｒｅａｔ　Ｇｏｌｄ　Ｗｙｒｍ　ｐａｉｎｔｅｄ　ｒｅｄ
－Ｏｎ　ａ　ｐｌａｎｅｔ　ｆｕｌｌ　ｏｆ　ｇｒａｖｅｌ　ｄｒａｇｏｎｓ
－Ｉｎｖｅｎｔｏｒｙ：
　＊ ！！Ｃｉｔｙ！！
　＊ Ｄｅｎ　（ｏｎ　ｇｒａｖｅｌ　ｄｒａｇｏｎ　ｐｌａｎｅｔ）
－Ａｌｌｙ：　Ｊａｃｑｕｅｓ
　＊　？？？
－Ｓａｎｉｔｙ：　Ｙｅｓ
－Ｂｏｎｕｓ　ｔｏ　ｍｏｖｅｍｅｎｔ　ｓｐｅｅｄ

＞

420 FORGET ACTIONS ERRY DAY

ALSO NAME RETCONS, I FEEL LIKE A PRO GM NOW

[Xantalos]

O_O

[kj1225]

Hope for GWG god of gold dragons to save us from this odd planet. Failing that hide and observe rituals, when we understand join in.

[Xantalos]

Hope for GWG god of gold dragons to save us from this odd planet. Failing that hide and observe rituals, when we understand join in.

...
WE ARE GWG YOU FOOL
AND IN MY RTD TO BOOT

[kj1225]

Hope for GWG god of gold dragons to save us from this odd planet. Failing that hide and observe rituals, when we understand join in.

...
WE ARE GWG YOU FOOL
AND IN MY RTD TO BOOT

See!? We are most capable to fix this.

[LordSlowpoke]

Hope for GWG god of gold dragons to save us from this odd planet. Failing that hide and observe rituals, when we understand join in.

...
WE ARE GWG YOU FOOL
AND IN MY RTD TO BOOT

See!? We are most capable to fix this.

Spoiler: SHOW INSIGHTLOG (click to show/hide)

I'M GOING TO GET DICE THAT DON'T HAVE PEANUTS DRAWN ON THE SIDES, BE AFRAID

. . .

ALRIGHT DONE

FIRST THINGS FIRST

[5] LET'S STOP FUCKING WITH OTHER PEOPLES GAMES GUYS WHO THOUGHT IT WAS A GOOD IDEA [4] [2] [5] A PORTAL OPENS!

Ｎｅｗ　ｍｕｌｔｉｖｅｒｓｅ　ｇｅｔ！

Ｄａｔａ　ｔｒａｎｓｍｉｔｔｅｄ：

１　Ｗｙｒｍ　Ｄｒａｇｏｎ
１　ｓｏｌａｒ　ｓｙｓｔｅｍ　ｗｉｔｈ　ｄｅｐｅｎｄｅｎｃｉｅｓ
１　Ｒ－ｃｌａｓｓ　ｐｌａｎｅｔ　

Ｅｓｔｉｍａｔｅｄ　ｔｒａｎｓｆｅｒ　ａｃｃｕｒａｃｙ：　９９．７３％

Hope for GWG god of gold dragons to save us from this odd planet. Failing that hide and observe rituals, when we understand join in.

[2] YOU PRAY TO YOURSELF. YOU HEAR CRICKETS CHIRPING. [4] YEAH SURE BRO ROLL FOR SANITY [19+12] [14+12] [15+12] Ｉｎｓｉｇｈｔ　ｓａｖｅｄ　ａｓ　ＩＮＳＩＧＨＴＬＯＧＦＩＬＥ＿００３．　APPARENTLY THESE BASTARDS TRANSMIT GENES WITH A HEAVY FORKFUL OF FUCK GEOMETRY AND PHYSICS. THAT'S WHAT YOU DO ALL DAY, LET'S JUMP IN. [1] OH GOD WHAT TAILS DO NOT WORK THAT WAY DO YOU EVEN HELP

Also try and use our powers over stuff to figure out where John went.

[2] JEBEDIAH? WHAT JASON, THERE WAS NEVER A JASSAN.

A DYKEFACE HAS APPEARED! IT'S CURRENTLY FLOATING ABOVE THE GRAVEL DRAGON COLONY.

ＳＴＡＴＵＳ：

－Ｇｒｅａｔ　Ｇｏｌｄ　Ｗｙｒｍ　ｐａｉｎｔｅｄ　ｒｅｄ
－Ｏｎ　ｇｒａｖｅｌ　ｄｒａｇｏｎ　ｐｌａｎｅｔ
－Ｉｎｖｅｎｔｏｒｙ：
　＊ ！！Ｃｉｔｙ！！
　＊ Ｄｅｎ　（ｏｎ　ｇｒａｖｅｌ　ｄｒａｇｏｎ　ｐｌａｎｅｔ）
－Ａｌｌｙ：　Ｊｅｎｋｉｎｓ
　＊　？？？
－Ｓａｎｉｔｙ：　Ｐｏｋｅｄ　ｗｉｔｈ　ａ　ｓｔｉｃｋ
－Ｂｏｎｕｓ　ｔｏ　ｍｏｖｅｍｅｎｔ　ｓｐｅｅｄ

＞

[kj1225]

Also try and use our powers over stuff to figure out where John went.

[RAM]

((gtg for mother's day meal, someone else needs to take over the GM role for a bit. for convenience, the Gold Dragon is on page 84 of the monster manual, great wyrms are colossal size, and can cast equivalently to a 19th level sorcerer. their breath weapons are a cone of fire, and a cone of weakening gas. a great wyrm's weakening gas does 12 points of strength damage to anyone who fails their saving throw, which is enough to kill your average human, but not signifigantly above-average ones (who will simply be totally crippled.))

It doesn't actually kill them, it just causes them to collapse, unable to lift their own weight. Now you would think that this would stop them from breathing at the least, but apparently not...

Create a fire so hot that it burns itself!

[Xantalos]

((gtg for mother's day meal, someone else needs to take over the GM role for a bit. for convenience, the Gold Dragon is on page 84 of the monster manual, great wyrms are colossal size, and can cast equivalently to a 19th level sorcerer. their breath weapons are a cone of fire, and a cone of weakening gas. a great wyrm's weakening gas does 12 points of strength damage to anyone who fails their saving throw, which is enough to kill your average human, but not signifigantly above-average ones (who will simply be totally crippled.))

It doesn't actually kill them, it just causes them to collapse, unable to lift their own weight. Now you would think that this would stop them from breathing at the least, but apparently not...

Create a fire so hot that it burns itself!

That technically also exists on some other planet.
Fire-shaped fire.