THE BATTLE COMMENCESArena:
Somewhere Over the RainbowThe fight begins, with a horn that can barely be heard over the rushing air. The Hydra, (GreatWyrmGold) quickly realizing that his multitude of heads put him at a disadvantage, starts an argument with the DM, pointing that page 155 of the Monster Manual clearly says that a Hydra can't have more than twice its starting number of heads. (4) The DM agrees, and the extra heads vanish- furthermore, you are reduced to your starting number of heads, because it says extra heads wither and die after a day. While the Hydra is arguing, Jade Harley (Greenstarfanatic) takes advantage of the opportunity to shoot her rifle at the hydra. She aims at the Hydra, and (1) actually, no she was aiming at her foot again. Now both of Jade's feet have been shot. The Venomancer (ExKirby) fires off a Poison Nova, (3) severely poisoning all who roll a 1- Jade Harley, Ada Lovelace, and somehow himself. Rex Splode (kj1225) gets ready to 'splode whoever is nearest, which happens to be Electric Man. (4)vs(2) Electric Man (SomeStupidGuy) fails to dodge the explosion and
BECOMES NOTHING BUT A TRAIL OF GUTS FALLING THROUGH THE SKY. Dante (Xantalos) swings his mighty scythe (2) like an idiot, hitting nothing. Billan (flabort) makes the next move, rushing after Dr. McNinja (Gamerlord) and trying to suck the blood from his body. (1) Billan accidentally
SUCKS ALL THE BLOOD FROM HIS OWN BODY, DYING, much to the confusion of everyone who watches him suddenly explode in blood. Dr. McNinja starts throwing shuriken, (1) most of which are useless in the high wind while skydiving, and one comes back and hits him in the face. Meanwhile, Ada Lovelace (Borno) writes poetry about being poisoned. (Automatic 1) The poetry is terrible.
Kills: 2/5. Survivors: Hydra, Jade Harley, Venomancer, Rex Splode, Dante, Dr. McNinja, Ada Lovelace
The ground grows closer, the crops can be seen in detail and the great, imposing curve of the world is turning flat as the sky becomes farther away.
The Hydra, now finished arguing, asks the DM what kind of hydra it is. (6) The DM responds, "Acidfire." After a brief internal argument, the hydra shoots acid at Jade Harley (6)vs(1)
DISSOLVING HER COMPLETELY AND INSTANTLY, and fire at Dante (5)vs(6) who frankly has been in hell too much to give a
damn about a few burns. The Venomancer's Poison Nova is still on cooldown, so he tries to whup the Dante over the head with his staff. (6)vs(2) Dante, just recovering from the fire, is suddenly
HEAD-WHUPPED SO HARD HIS HEAD COMES OFF. Rex Splode sees the already-poisoned Ada Lovelace and targets her for an explosion. (6)vs(4-1) Ada Lovelace
EXPLODES INTO BITS- the explosion from Rex Splode, compounded by the sheer force of teenage ennui, causes the explosion to be much bigger than anticipated. (1+1) Even Rex Splode, in his explosion-resistant suit, is hurt by the blast, while Dr. McNinja (4) avoids it and the Hydra (3) takes a little damage, while the Venomancer (6) is convenient not nearby. Dr. McNinja draws his sword on Rex Splode, since he's the most conspicuous target, and (3)vs(1) manages to chop a leg off.
Kills: 5/5. Survivors: Hydra, Rex Splode, Venomancer, Dr. McNinja
The ground is growing dangerously close! Like, oh shit, damn, look at that, kind of close.
Below the remaining fighters, portals appear to remove them from the fight. Nobody rolls a 1 and misses.
-Kyle Johnson: A modern mage. Couldn't win a knife fight with a hydra.
-Vander Allens: Crossbow badass. While enchanted into dancing by Tom Bombadil, had a lethal fall down the stairs.
-Poundatron: An artillery-based Decepticon. His guns misfired and exploded due to Electroman's shock attacks.
-Tom Bombadil: 1 Kill. The enchanting guardian of the forests of middle earth. Eaten by a hydra.
-Electroman: 1 kill. Kung-fu fighter with electric powers. Got 'sploded by Rex Splode while sky diving.
-Billan: 1 kill... on himself. Blood mage of modern times. Sucked his own blood out in a freak accident.
-Jade Harley: Science-minded girl with a rifle. Shot herself in both feet and got totally dissolved by the Hydra's acid breath.
-Dante: Scythe-wielding crime against poetry. Got his head whupped clean off by an attack from the Venomancer.
-Ada Lovelace: Mary sue. Also got exploded by Rex Splode. Her ennui made the explosion greater.
-Schizophrenic Hydra: 3 kills. Can breath fire and acid.
-Rex Splode: 2 kills. Suffers from sword-through-the-chest-itis.
-The Venomancer: 1 kill.
-Dr. McNinja
-Optimus Prime with a Twist (has not yet fought)
PLAYER: Kills/Deaths/Rounds Survived
kj1225: 2/0/2
Xantalos: 1/2/0
Greenstarfanatic: 2/1/1
SomeStupidGuy: 0/2/0
GreatWyrmGold: 2/0/2
flabort: 0/2/0
IronyOwl: 0/1/0
Gamerlord: 0/0/1
Borno: 0/1/0
ExKirby: 1/0/1