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[kj1225]

So I automatically win the round by not having committed a crime? Cool, being a loser can help!

I... seem to have entirely forgot to enter you. I can edit you in if you want?

I don't care either way really. Do whatever is easier.

[GreatWyrmGold]

Do I get a bonus for making a realistic story or a penalty for a ludicrous one?

Also, when did I get a staff?

The first question is kinda vital to my strategy.

[flabort]

Do I get a bonus for making a realistic story or a penalty for a ludicrous one?

Also, when did I get a staff?

The first question is kinda vital to my strategy.

And I can answer the second: When the character was made. We were allowed a non-weapon item and a weapon item, and I decided to give him both in one. No-one's tried to use it yet.

[GreatWyrmGold]

Do I get a bonus for making a realistic story or a penalty for a ludicrous one?

Also, when did I get a staff?

The first question is kinda vital to my strategy.

And I can answer the second: When the character was made. We were allowed a non-weapon item and a weapon item, and I decided to give him both in one. No-one's tried to use it yet.

Oh.
...Why does the hydra have a magical staff? And how was I not made aware of this when I played him?

[flabort]

Because some of his heads are wizards. Others are raw bestiality. Most are somewhere in between.
And probably because you just missed it.

[Maxinum McDreich]

I'll put in a character for next round:

Deathy! He's merely an undead zombie with a tophat and a monocle plus what little remains of a dinnersuit. He... doesn't really talk much, but he always has plenty to say about his favourite food: brains. Mostly that consists of saying it over and over again, but sometimes he adds in some spice with 'diiieeeee.'
Thankfully, he's an excellant charades player, as it often becomes his only way to really communicate.

He's a special zombie, though. He can't turn you. He just merely eats you to regenerate and is hard to truly kill.

[Sensei]

Do I get a bonus for making a realistic story or a penalty for a ludicrous one?

Also, when did I get a staff?

You might get a bonus for a really logical story, or better, one that makes sense with the other stories. Being just "realistic" won't help much though, even compared to really unlikely events. Anything that depends on evidence will usually get a roll to see whether that evidence is actually there.

Do I get a bonus for making a realistic story or a penalty for a ludicrous one?

Also, when did I get a staff?

The first question is kinda vital to my strategy.

And I can answer the second: When the character was made. We were allowed a non-weapon item and a weapon item, and I decided to give him both in one. No-one's tried to use it yet.

Oh.
...Why does the hydra have a magical staff? And how was I not made aware of this when I played him?

The hydra has had a magical staff since he was created:

In, as a Hydra. Multiple personality syndrome galore, heads removed grow into two more, extremely toxic blood. Interestingly, over half the personalities are that of magical scholars, but others are no better than hungry beasts. Four legs, and a long tail. Has a wand (more of a magical 10 foot pole, because of scale) that it manages to grip in it's claws.

And you were made aware of it:

GreatWyrmGold: You are a Hydra, a many-headed monster. Because of your now-incredible amount of heads, you can barely hear yourself think over your many voices and you have problems with low blood pressure. You are also wielding a magic staff.

[GreatWyrmGold]

Huh.

Anyways, Make the following Arguments:

Spoiler: Following, Arguments (click to show/hide)

1. As all criminals are innocent until proven guilty, the prosecution must present evidence for our guilt.

2. The stab wounds were all more or less in one area of the chest, rather than being spaced evenly around the body in an arc or two as they would have been if the victim had been bitten by a large animal.5
3. If I had bitten him, my saliva would have been found on the victim and in his victim, but DNA tests of those fluids turned up 100% negative for my DNA.
4. If I had wanted to kill someone, I would have used my breath weapons unless I wanted to eat the victim, in which case I would have eaten the body, which I did not (proven in the first update and hence incontrovertable as he was found with stab wounds in his chest; if he was eaten, no stab wounds would have been found because his body would have been digested).
5. A sword was found in the victim's body, which points to Dr. Ninja or at least someone who can wield a sword.
6. If I am actually wasting the Court's time, it is because I was brought into the courtroom by court order, which I had no choice in and the Court did, and hence the Court itself is at fault and I am not; hence, I cannot be found guilty of wasting the Court's time any more than a man who falls on top of a man who knocked him off a building can be charged with assault.

7. Lappiel would have needed to be directly hooked up to the GNS Network to hack its mainframe; this would require being on-site. Hence, as a laptop cannot move, it was clearly the work of the troll.
8. Moreover, said troll's fingerprints were found on the keyboard of a computer inside the building, near an unconscious office worker, which indicates that Sollux hacked the GNS.

9. The space station in question is thoroughly searched for anything remotely explosive which comes on-board, even in hyper-, zero-, anti-, or hammerspace. Hence, Bomberman could not have gotten on and Rex Splode must be at fault.
10. Rex Splode was found on the planet where the space station exploded, smouldering. He was the only survivor. If Bomberman was responsible, he would need to have been on the space station, and hence have either died or been a survivor. As he is alive right now, and was not one of the only survivor, Bomberman was not even on the space station.

11. The people being shot with green stuff were inside a green station, and hence could not have been shot by Optimus, who is too large to fit in such spaces.
12. Said people were also poisoned, which indicates that poison was fired at them rather than Lantern Ring stuff.

...and the following Counter-Arguments:

Spoiler: Following, Counter-Arguments (click to show/hide)

2) Argue that Optimus Prime with a Twist is the paragon of goodness, and while he has the power to shoot green stuff, the Venomancer is more likely to be terrorizing people. Besides, OPwaT fights for ALL sentient beings, yourselves included.

As neither Transformers nor those with Lantern Rings are all Good, one cannot assume that putting a good Transformer and a good Lantern Ring together will make a good being.

3) Sure, arrest the guy with a sword. Didn't you see me trying to bandage the guy? Well, maybe you didn't, as I am a ninja doctor, but surely you realize I was trying to save him? I was only using the sword to fend off the hydra's heads and teeth.

The above is a lie, as security footage clearly shows that Dr. Ninja was stabbing the person rather than stabbing him.

4) Probably both of them were hacking, but I doubt either of them hacked YOUR computers on purpose. Probably just used them as a proxy, and the guys they were hacking tried to hack back - but got caught up in the proxy trap, and wrecked your computers instead. Meaning one is probably as guilty as the other, and they both deserve to die.

If this were true, the computers would merely be wrecked and not have pornography on them.

5) If arguments haven't succeeded in getting me free, use some ninja tricks to disable my chair's instant death stuff.
6) I should probably then throw throwing stars at the guards, and backflip out of the chair and out the doors.

Such an attitude is indicative of guilt.

[Greenstarfanatic]

First of all, thanks for defending me, guys.

Second of all, why are you guys trying to act as defence attorneys for bout half the players? You only REALLY need to defend yourself.

[Xantalos]

First of all, thanks for defending me, guys.

Second of all, why are you guys trying to act as defence attorneys for bout half the players? You only REALLY need to defend yourself.

That's what I'm doing.

[SomeStupidGuy]

"Hah, how can you all be so easily led?
Just because I practice a mystical art that is literally only useful for terrorizing people and the shooting of green stuff doesn't mean that I shot green things at those people. You should all be ashamed of yourselves for making such an unjust assumption."

To emphasize my point, loudly hum lawyer-y music.

[GreatWyrmGold]

Second of all, why are you guys trying to act as defence attorneys for bout half the players? You only REALLY need to defend yourself.

We get kills for people whom we provide evidence against that gets them executed. This involves proving that no one else did the crime.
Also, I'm just nice like that. Especially to people who defended me first *cough*Xantalos*/cough*.

[kj1225]

Can I be one of the jury members? I figure that will make this even more fun.

[flabort]

We're defending half the players in order to get the other half - eh, we'll keep that a secret for later.

That said, counter arguments back against the hydra:

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

How do you know this court operates that way? It could just as likely be guilty until proven innocent, and the instant death chairs serve to prove that point.

You drive a good point, and I admit I did not see you at the scene. But I do not admit to guilt, because I was not actually at the scene. My sword was confiscated after the death of the victim, from my possession. If there was a sword found in the victim's chest, it was not my sword, which I had on my person at the time of discovery. The fact that the holes in the chest are neither consitant with bite marks or with those of a ninja blade, and that they do match the blade found in mister Boddie, indicate that neither of us can be blamed for the crime.
While I have no footage to back up my claim, I'm sure eye witnesses can attest to the fact that I was falling out of the sky at the time. The security footage you used is obviously from the McBonald headquarters, with Mr. Boddie's image dubbed in place of a clown I had legal CONTRACTUAL rights to kill at the time. That was our ninth and last conflict.

I have no great computer skill, and Dark Smoke Puncher would probably be better at figuring out if either of the suspects were the one(s) doing the hacking. I took my limited knowledge based off of what he can do and made a guess at how it might have been done.

What attitude? I haven't done anything yet, and my ninja tricks and ninja skills are generally too quick for anyone with less than four eyes to - I see what you did there. How'd you get to have enough eyes to see through that? Frankly, I only intended to leave violently if the jury wouldn't let me go after proving my innocence. Besides, Death owes me a couple, I can afford to be risky.

[GreatWyrmGold]

That said, counter arguments back against the hydra:

Counter-counter-points:

Spoiler: Follow--wait, I didn't set that up right. (click to show/hide)

How do you know this court operates that way? It could just as likely be guilty until proven innocent, and the instant death chairs serve to prove that point.

It's a fair assumption that everyone else seems to be making. Besides, can you prove you didn't rape someone and use illegal methods of memory modification to stop anyone from remembering it?

[quore]
You drive a good point, and I admit I did not see you at the scene.
[/quote]
Because I was not there. It wasn't even in a place I was small enough to fit!

But I do not admit to guilt, because I was not actually at the scene.

Yes, you were.

My sword was confiscated after the death of the victim, from my possession. If there was a sword found in the victim's chest, it was not my sword, which I had on my person at the time of discovery.

What kind of ninja only has one sword? Not the kind you are, as indicated by the fingerprints on the blade in the victim...

While I have no footage to back up my claim, I'm sure eye witnesses can attest to the fact that I was falling out of the sky at the time. The security footage you used is obviously from the McBonald headquarters, with Mr. Boddie's image dubbed in place of a clown I had legal CONTRACTUAL rights to kill at the time. That was our ninth and last conflict.

So, you admit to killing someone?

What attitude? I haven't done anything yet, and my ninja tricks and ninja skills are generally too quick for anyone with less than four eyes to - I see what you did there. How'd you get to have enough eyes to see through that? Frankly, I only intended to leave violently if the jury wouldn't let me go after proving my innocence. Besides, Death owes me a couple, I can afford to be risky.

I'm not making counter-arguments until you make your arguments, and the argument that particular counter-argument was arguing against was you actually expressing the attitude.