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[borno]

You all hand in your sheets. Well, all except one of you. Details.
So... It appears we have some sort of troll dude, a guy who thinks he's a Velociraptor, and a guy who's 156. Certainly not the weirdest people we've had come into the competition, but it's ranking pretty high up there.
The host who will not be named for now looks at the guy in the corner.
And you, in the corner! I'm afraid you're too late, we can't just keep holding everyone up because of you!
The host then looks at everyone in turn and then at their sheets.
Just to get things straight, Gamzee, you're Nigh unkillable or something but are completely and utterly Insane as well? If that's not right, just tell me and I'll read through your sheet again and come up with something else.
And Ivan, you seem to Passionately hate Bolsheviks but, uh... seem to Passionately hate Bolsheviks. Once again, tell me if I'm wrong.
Leigh, you seem to be a pretty Accomplished engineer, but apparently are Overprotective of your invention by looking at this sheet.
Bob, according to the sheet you wrote you are a Velociraptor... But really man, if you were a dinosaur, wouldn't you be On the food chain?
Now to Alexei. Wow, the audience sure are gonna eat you up! You're that Badass fighter that everyone seems to love for some reason. Unfortunately you seem to have had a rather Troubled past.
Then there's... Cheesecake man? Eh, whatever. By the looks of things you (ironically) seem to Feed off suffering. However, in return, people seem to Feed off you.
Second last is Antoine, the 'Gentleman Rogue.' You do have Class, yes, can a Gentleman survive in an arena like this?
Last but not least if Donzor. You seem to be a Ladies man, but sometimes that means that you may have a Jealous Ex or two.
Jargon then hands his sheet in and the host reads his skills out.
So, Jargon, it must be pretty hard to work in such a Weird office place! But still, I guess you're Just an office worker, how much skill can you have other than that?
Aaaand I guess that's it fo-- Hang on, I'm getting another phonecall. _{... Oh, whoops sir! Don't worry sir, I'll tell them about it now. All hail the monkey lime!} Anyway, there's a feature that I forgot to mention earlier. Counterstrikes. If the attacker rolls low enough and the defender rolls high enough, then a counterstrike will be made.
The host pauses for a moment, seeming to remember something.
Oh, wait, we're not going to that arena, aren't we? Whoops! Hehehe!
Anyway, what are you all waiting for? The exit's that way, gogogo!
You all run/scamper/sneak/walk over to the hallway that was pointed to. After some time of running/scampering/sneaking/walking, you finally all make it into a medium sized circular arena. The door shuts behind you, and you all turn around, but see nothing. You seem to be in a big metal room, with steel walls, steel doors, steel floors, steel windows, steel everything. The room appears to be about 20x20m itself. There is nothing much of interest other than the complex looking doors and a camera on the roof pointed straight at you.
Welcome to the starting room! As you can see, there is not much of interest in this room. Or is there? There are a few secrets in this room, specially designed by our developers that you may find. Lastly, you win when you are the last man standing! Smile for the camera!

Spoiler: Statuses: (click to show/hide)

Name: Jargon Paris
Current Items: Computer, I-pad and a fork
Health: 5/5
Status: Average
Bonus: See above
Penalty: See above
Name: Gamzee Makara
Current Items: Bottle of Faygo, Pair of Juggling Clubs
Health: 5/5
Status: Average
Bonus: See above
Penalty: See above
Name: Ivan Herosotsky
Current Items: Russian Aristocratic Robes, Broadsword, Pistol, 1/2 Bottle of Vodka
Health: 5/5
Status: Average
Bonus: See above
Penalty: See above
Name: Leigh Marsh
Current Items: Engineer suit, welding mask, over-sized spanner, C.O.G.
Health: 5/5
Status: Average
Bonus: See above
Penalty: See above
Name: Bob
Current Items: Fake glasses, false moustache
Health: 5/5
Status: Average
Bonus: See above
Penalty: See above
Name: Alexei Risovat
Current Items: AK47, olive hoodie, makarov
Health: 5/5
Status: Average
Bonus: See above
Penalty: See above
Name: Cheesecake Man
Current Items: Spandex suit, The Bakinator, The Killy Ray gun, cape
Health: 5/5
Status: Average
Bonus: See above
Penalty: See above
Name: Antoine DeMarco
Current Items: Pinstripe suit, light pistol, switch blade.
Health: 5/5
Status: Average
Bonus: See above
Penalty: See above
Name: Donzor
Current Items: Black Green Leather Robe, T-Shirt Oversized Belt, Spellbook, Sneakers
Health: 5/5
Status: Average
Bonus: See above
Penalty: See above

[Cheesecake]

Smile for the camera even though Cheesecakes have no mouths, per se.

[scapheap]

Start the search for the puzzle in this room(tap tap)

[Greenstarfanatic]

Take out my Dual Clubs, spin them, and Whack Cheesecake Man over the head with them!

[Xanmyral]

"Hm... Well, best get cracking." Cracking his knuckles, Leigh works on deconstructing the steel around him into sheets, with the help of his over-sized spanner and the C.O.G. device. Then turn such material into plating for his engineering suit.

[Eotyrannus]

Use fluffy Velociraptor leap. Spread wings and glide onto the cheesecake. Devour face. Avoid place where guy is showing off then using clubs.

[Fniff]

"... This is going to be interesting."

Get behind any cover, make some if nessacary (Flip over tables, etc), then observe what the others do.

[TCM]

Ivan steps into the arena, curiously looking over all of the other combatants. When he sees the other Russian, his eyes widen. "FOR THE WHITE FLAG!"

Charge and put the Broadsword through Alexi's Bolshevik chest!

[GreatWyrmGold]

Fonzor, not Fonzie...note to self, don't expect people to google strange names. Instead, link the first time!

Determine if my magic works by attempting to use Rock Armor.

[SomeStupidGuy]

I'd just roll with it, Donzie. You're just doing a slightly different type of magic, the magic of love. 

[TCM]

As Ivan charges he calls out, "Would anyone like to form a mutually beneficial alliance to partake in the destruction of the Bolshevik forces?"

[Greenstarfanatic]

As Ivan charges he calls out, "Would anyone like to form a mutually beneficial alliance to partake in the destruction of the Bolshevik forces?"

"SuRe, MaN. wHaT Do tHeSe bOlShEvIk GuYs LoOk LiKe?"

[Eotyrannus]

As Ivan charges he calls out, "Would anyone like to form a mutually beneficial alliance to partake in the destruction of the Bolshevik forces?"

"KREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE" ("Yes that seems like a fine idea! I shall dine on the faces of your enemies, thank you for this excellent opportunity!")

[Fniff]

"Hurt me and you'll regret it!" yells Alexei as he jumps behind cover.

[TCM]

"SuRe, MaN. wHaT Do tHeSe bOlShEvIk GuYs LoOk LiKe?"

"KREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE" ("Yes that seems like a fine idea! I shall dine on the faces of your enemies, thank you for this excellent opportunity!")

"Great to hear! On the surface, Bolshevik's look like anyone. Your neighbors. Friends. Co-workers. Even family members. But you can know them by their smell, as they smell of Communist ideology and have a particular accent denoting a want for dictatorship. Look at this Alexei Bolshevik here, he must be eliminated or else the whole world will suffocate in the grip of the iron claw! Bolshevik Containment and Elimination United Alliance, attack!"