Hi guys, so I'm a last year bachelor marketing student, I have finals coming up, I have to turn in my thesis, I have a bunch of team project(anyone who ever had to get people to do something without being able to take away their money will understand the pain) coming up, and I have to study for both graduation exams and entrance exams for my new uni. I've been preparing for about half a year now for my second bachelors - a degree in computer science. I studied a lot of math and programming and I hope I made up during that period for what I missed in elementary and high school. Everything was running smoothly, until about six weeks ago, when I realized that I haven't touched the second half of my thesis yet. I freaked out, wrote the whole thing in two god-awful weeks, and then went on to other projects. Time itself that I spent writing the thesis was not so much, a few hours a day. My real problem is the stress that came along with as I realized the amount of the work I'll have to do, the uncertainty of passing the exams, and the futility of most of it. I would appear to function normally to an external observer, but my brain is running at about quarter of the capacity. I cannot bring myself to study on my own anymore. I procrastinate all the time, unlike before. My throat is dry, days seem long, I get a stress spike as soon as I wake up... It's a grotesque parody on the life I had before.
The issue with this long time stress that I've been having is this: It makes my life miserable, I know it, but I can't reason it away. It's somewhere out of my control, just like physical pain; you can't think it away if you decide that it is bothering you. No calculating of how much work do I need to do(Not so much, actually. Some people would kill for that schedule), no telling myself that I passeed exams before, no reminding myself that there are people with real problems out there is of any help. I suspect that rather than the amount of work, the uncertainty of the outcome paired with the consequences(My parents promised me a chunky sum of money if I pass; if I don't, I don't get shit and will have to do the exam again). Has anybody here experienced this before? I'd really like to know how to get this psychological tumor out of my head.