This was a run-of-the-mill crush. Something you would expect from anyone of my age.
She was a pretty girl. Heck, I still know her. She's still a pretty girl. I just don't have a crush. At all. There were a few things that, in my mind, set her apart, though:
1. She played the same instrument as me. I didn't know it at the time, but music was something that invaded my life just as much as it is in mine now.
2. She was pretty. I liked to pretend this wasn't a factor. That was bullshit.
3. She got better grades than me and many considered her to be smarter, me included. Ohoho. That one got me riled. And by that, I mean crushing.
Naturally, the majority of this was an ideal. The issue is how long I spent to build up this ideal. I had this crush for 3 years and didn't say a single word. Nowadays, this is kinda hilarious to me. She's not scary. The issue was me. And I was a wimp.
The entire effort I made to... something... this girl (Seriously, I can't even ascertain my motives in this situation) is that I could (and still can) tell the difference between her and her twin sister on sight. They keep different lengths of hair and play different instruments. Whoop-dee-doo. I can figure it out now on sight, immediately, when they're making an effort to appear similar, but that's what we call being around someone for long enough. Anyway, it was hilarious. I wrote things. Angsty things.
One of them, I posted on GameFAQs and used her real name. This being GameFAQs, it was posted on a livejournal for all to see. I regret this for her sake, but my emotional disconnect with my past actions is enough that I can laugh at myself all day. Anyway, to nobody's surprise, she found it. Got mutual friend to talk to me about it. Nothing interesting happened. We have an amicable relationship now, made up of nothing significant. We still play the same instrument. She thinks I'm a genius, but then everyone does (It kinda bothers me, but I like to milk it for humor). There's nothing more to say; that is the entire depth of our relationship. "S/he thinks I'm a genius" is assumed by half the population of the school, so that's not special, either. This is the best-case, all things considered.
My entire psychological state up until my junior year of high school from last year of middle school were based entirely around this envy-crush I had. I was pretentious as fuck. I thought I was surrounded by idiots. Literally used that term in my head. Then I joined Bay 12, where people actually are smarter, and got a hobby, which distracted me from doing useless shit all day :V
Lesson: GameFAQs is not where you post personal info! Also, don't get crushes. Also, hormones and the internet do not go together. Also, you'd better have a large group of friends who won't ditch you for being incredibly creepy. Also, get hobbies. Also, be friendly. There are lots of lessons you can get out of this funny little story.
Now, point of discussion: have you done anything that make you look back on yourself and just say... "how could I be so stupid?"