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[Frumple]

Someday, I'll be able to own all kinds of random crap.

You can own random crap without spending money on it!

I've got a little collection of junk I didn't spend a dime on, but keep around 'cause they're neat/odd or had some kind of significance. One of those giant ground sloth's teeth I pulled out of the ground (pretty large, black, fossilized), a piece of pavement from the scene a fairly major car wreck (top part of a semi's front just gone, iirc), one of those plastic things license plates go in laying around somewhere (someone had left it in the school's parking lot for like, a week or so. Ended up taking it home.), I think a couple handicap parking signs laying around (same dealio, though it was a couple weeks and people had walked off with the rest before I got a couple. Not the metal ones, though, just a wood stake with the little sign.), several feet of twine/thin rope that was holding up signs on campus (they took down the signs, left the rope. Don't mind if I do...)... buncha' stuff like that. Curio collections are easy. Especially when people are looking in the other direction >_>

... I may be a bit of a magpie, honestly. Just a little, and I don't indulge very often, but I could probably make a really shiny nest with all the glittery junk I've picked up over the years.

Decadence, though... yeah, nothing in my memory really stands out. There's only so many multi-million dollar mansions you can look at in askance before you start filtering it out, y'know?

[Xantalos]

Robot butlers. That is all.

[Aqizzar]

Highlight of my decadent book collection is a brief but flowery encyclopedia of the world, written and published by H.G. Wells in 1922.  I've barely cracked it open but damn does it look cool.

I once bought a sailboat. Had it for two years and in all that time I went sailing...once. But I wanted a boat so I bought a boat. The "decadence" is much diminished, though, by the fact that I eventually ending up living on it. Turns out sailboats make excellent bachelor pads, and if you have guests over to drink and party on your boat it's much easier to put the BBQ on the dock rather than try to cook with it on a boat moving and bouncing on every wave.

Man, I'd kill to be that cool and bachelory.  Best I can hope for is my plan to blow a college degree's worth of money on an airplane.

Five posts while I was typing this, damn.

[Vector]

. . . I'll come clean.  I also have a sock collection, and a soap collection.

It's sort of strange.  There aren't that many things I like, and usually I keep to the minimum, but if I like something then god damn I am bound and determined to own a lot of it.

[MaximumZero]

Robot butlers. That is all.

Servbots.

Oh, crap. Vector is Tron Bonne.

[Frumple]

It's sort of strange.  There aren't that many things I like, and usually I keep to the minimum, but if I like something then god damn I am bound and determined to own a lot of it.

You have no idea how incredibly intense the urge to steal street signs and hide them somewhere is. No. Freaking. Idea. There's just something about them. The thought of taking one and then... putting it somewhere else. Maybe stick a bird house on top of it, or use several as a vine trellis thingy. Something. I end up staring longing at temporary signs along the side of the road because... I could. I could. I don't, and I won't, 'cause it'd be illegal and immoral, but... the urge. So great. People are asleep at three AM. _{No one would know but me.}

Just buying them wouldn't be the same. The acquisition has to be non-commercial. Maybe not necessarily theft, but...

What do you do, good Vector, when the thing liked is verboten? Occasionally there's moral and legal opportunities, but...

[MaximumZero]

It's sort of strange.  There aren't that many things I like, and usually I keep to the minimum, but if I like something then god damn I am bound and determined to own a lot of it.

You have no idea how incredibly intense the urge to steal street signs and hide them somewhere is. No. Freaking. Idea. There's just something about them. The thought of taking one and then... putting it somewhere else. Maybe stick a bird house on top of it, or use several as a vine trellis thingy. Something. I end up staring longing at temporary signs along the side of the road because... I could. I could. I don't, and I won't, 'cause it'd be illegal and immoral, but... the urge. So great. People are asleep at three AM. _{No one would know but me.}

Just buying them wouldn't be the same. The acquisition has to be non-commercial. Maybe not necessarily theft, but...

What do you do, good Vector, when the thing liked is verboten? Occasionally there's moral and legal opportunities, but...

I couldn't believe that Frumple would do something like that, but I walk into his apartment, and all the signs were there...

[Aqizzar]

What do you do, good Vector, when the thing liked is verboten? Occasionally there's moral and legal opportunities, but...

You get good at stealing them, that's what.  The prize of my collection is the "Neighborhood Crime Watch" sign with a big sticker on the back promising a reward for turning in people stealing signs.

[MaximumZero]

What do you do, good Vector, when the thing liked is verboten? Occasionally there's moral and legal opportunities, but...

You get good at stealing them, that's what.  The prize of my collection is the "Neighborhood Crime Watch" sign with a big sticker on the back promising a reward for turning in people stealing signs.

Then you move on to stealing security cameras. Then, security guards. You steal them because of the noise they make when they spot you.

[MetalSlimeHunt]

What do you do, good Vector, when the thing liked is verboten? Occasionally there's moral and legal opportunities, but...

You get good at stealing them, that's what.  The prize of my collection is the "Neighborhood Crime Watch" sign with a big sticker on the back promising a reward for turning in people stealing signs.

RIP Aqizzar, tragically killed by an explosive trap sign.

[nenjin]

I have a 2100 page Websters New Universal Unabridged Dictionary, circa 1995 or so. It weighs close to 10 pounds and stands about 6 inches tall while lying flat. It's both decadent and absurdly nerdy.

You get good at stealing them, that's what.  The prize of my collection is the "Neighborhood Crime Watch" sign with a big sticker on the back promising a reward for turning in people stealing signs.

Mine is my "No Loitering" sign. I mean...you can't show that to a male under the age of 25 without basically daring them to steal it. Those signs should be criminal.

[Aqizzar]

Laugh all you want, there's a special kind of satisfaction to derailing an edifice specifically made to warn people away from derailing it, by the means it's warning against.  When I lived in a dorm for a while, I had a School Zone sign on the wall just for its own sake, so I could look at it and think, "This must be what master thieves feel like all the time."

[Vector]

Hmm, so the question is: what keeps me from downloading EVERYTHING?  And for me, the answer is that after a certain minimal amount of volume, I coax myself into thinking about overall quality and familiarity.  So I'm pruning down on my book collection some because I recognize that I feel better about the books I have when they're more distinguished, and I've finally managed to stop obsessively stocking up soap.

Also, I spend a lot of time fantasizing about escapades and just how I'm going to scratch the growing itch.  I think about the ideal situation, the amount of energy I'm going to expend, and how exciting and satisfying it will be just afterwards.  Because I have a pretty vivid imagination, this usually helps significantly.

Then you move on to stealing security cameras. Then, security guards. You steal them because of the noise they make when they spot you.

. . . Dammit, you're a wonderful dude.

[WealthyRadish]

I have a velvet painting of a fish hanging on my ceiling that's something like 6'x4', but that was only $5. I do also have a mostly intact metal stop sign (with post!) that I use as a coat rack in the basement. That was actually a birthday gift, I don't normally steal road signs. I can see the appeal, though. I made a chair out of old skis, but I can't think of something interesting to do with a stop sign.

Warning - while you were typing 7 new replies have been posted. You may wish to review your post.

0.o? Kay.

[nenjin]

"This must be what master thieves feel like all the time."

I chuckled evilly at this sentence.