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[Cheesecake]

There's this girl I like and everytime I'm around her with my other guy friends I get jealous of everything they do that gets her attention. Every other time she's not around I act normal. I don't openly act jealous though, I just feel jealous. I love all my friends, but everyone seems to be against me when she's around. She's a nice person and all but I need help controlling my jealousy issues.

Thanks in advance!

[Max White]

Why don't you ask her out? If she says yes then you can build a relationship with some fucking trust, and if she says no then at least you know she isn't interested so why deny others the chance?

You feel a little protective, ok, that is understandable, but don't just let it linger until you grow bitter towards your other friends.

[LordBucket]

How to cope with jealousy?

Tilt your head forward so that your chin is touching your chest. Feel the vertebrae in the back of your neck. There will be an especially prominent one. Focus thoughts of peace and acceptance on that vertebrae. Intend to give up the feeling of jealousy.

However silly this may sound, it costs you nothing to try, and noone need ever know that you tried it. If it works, you have your answer. If it doesn't you have my permission to come back to this thread and laugh at me.

[Cheeetar]

How to cope with jealousy?

Tilt your head forward so that your chin is touching your chest. Feel the vertebrae in the back of your neck. There will be an especially prominent one. Focus thoughts of peace and acceptance on that vertebrae. Intend to give up the feeling of jealousy.

However silly this may sound, it costs you nothing to try, and noone need ever know that you tried it. If it works, you have your answer. If it doesn't you have my permission to come back to this thread and laugh at me.

Oooh, I have one! If you rub your tummy and pet your left foot and think really hard about inner happiness, you will be happy for the rest of your life.

[Eidolon]

Just keep in mind: Really solid, loyal friends are a lot harder to come by than girls that you find attractive. How well do you know her, compared to how well you know them?

[Trapezohedron]

Just keep in mind: Really solid, loyal friends are a lot harder to come by than girls that you find attractive. How well do you know her, compared to how well you know them?

True fact. Losing a squad of buddies ain't worth it when the pay's just a single person who you might not last in a relationship. If I were in your boots, I'd use this fact to prevent myself from acting too much.

In short, are you sure she's nicer than all of your friends combined? Or are you wearing a pair of rose-tinted glasses and describing her from that POV?

[Catsup]

There's this girl I like and everytime I'm around her with my other guy friends I get jealous of everything they do that gets her attention. Every other time she's not around I act normal. I don't openly act jealous though, I just feel jealous. I love all my friends, but everyone seems to be against me when she's around. She's a nice person and all but I need help controlling my jealousy issues.

Thanks in advance!

confess and if she doesnt give you a chance then cut her off for your own sake until you no longer feel anything around her.

[QuakeIV]

then cut her off for your own sake until you no longer feel anything around her.

I'm just going to say that its possible to make the other party feel pretty aweful depending on the circumstances, having had that done to me. (im a dude who kinda had a girl do that to me btw)

[penguinofhonor]

I agree with QuakeIV. "I have feelings for you. Oh, you don't reciprocate? We can't be friends anymore" is pretty shocking.

[Catsup]

I'm just going to say that its possible to make the other party feel pretty aweful depending on the circumstances, having had that done to me. (im a dude who kinda had a girl do that to me btw)

I agree with QuakeIV. "I have feelings for you. Oh, you don't reciprocate? We can't be friends anymore" is pretty shocking.

i probly stated it too bluntly...way too blunty.

give her some time to think about it.

if she says that shes thought it over and the answer is still no then you need to stay away from her a bit, not because shes a bad friend or because shes being a jerk, but trust me it doesnt go well if you do not stay away until your feelings wear off. You need to make it clear to her that its entirely a matter of circumstance, and not anyones (her) fault.

I wouldnt say its "we cant be friends anymore" its just that "our friendship is put on hiatus until i can continue seeing you as a friend".

[Trapezohedron]

...and putting friendships on hiatus practically amounts to losing friendship. Whatever you do, if you confessed, she's going to remember that. Even if you saw her as "just a friend" now, she'd still remember that, and depending on her personality, she might not take it good if you broke up her friendship because of a botched confession. She might even feel responsible for the rift in the (friendly) relationship.

So basically, I don't agree to "our friendship is put on hiatus until I can continue seeing you as a friend".

[Catsup]

...and putting friendships on hiatus practically amounts to losing friendship. Whatever you do, if you confessed, she's going to remember that. Even if you saw her as "just a friend" now, she'd still remember that, and depending on her personality, she might not take it good if you broke up her friendship because of a botched confession. She might even feel responsible for the rift in the (friendly) relationship.

So basically, I don't agree to "our friendship is put on hiatus until I can continue seeing you as a friend".

if she takes it some other way and feels guilty then she needs to grow up and start realizing this is how it is with life. Yes, it will never be the same again, who cares? get over it

[Vector]

I've successfully done the friendship-hiatus thing.  Worked way better than my experiences with "I can't quite control my puppy-eyes," from my perspective.

[Tuck_Lion]

If you're jealous, you pretty much have to leave the room. There's not much other options here, unless your affection (or infatuation) is transferred onto somebody else.

Emotions are chemicals. Are you high on hatred? Love? In between?

Sometimes jealousy is an addiction and you can't quite control it. You might have to rehabilitate yourself if you find yourself having to leave the room too often.

[Putnam]

Infatuation sucks. I had a really big one for a few years. Unbeknownst to me, I ended up in nearly every one of her circle of friends over the course of a few years. Then it stopped happening due to some circumstances that I wouldn't consider something to be imitated by anybody ever unless you have some very understanding friends to mediate (long, slightly hilarious story). Anyway, I got over it, learned that infatuation is a bad, bad thing.

It's really, really important not to get infatuated. I know it sounds kind of bad when you are infatuated, but it's not a good thing. I know what it feels like. I know the signs. I didn't even know this girl. She was an ideal, representative of my infatuation for music... I think.

Do not make people into ideals. That always ends in disappointment. Try to get to know her. You may find her insufferable. This is a fairly good case scenario.

I should right something about this infatuation somewhere. It's kind of an amusing story in retrospect.