Bay 12 Games Forum

Please login or register.

Login with username, password and session length
Advanced search  
Pages: 1 2 [3]

Author Topic: An... awkward situtation  (Read 2770 times)

Vector

  • Bay Watcher
    • View Profile
Re: An... awkward situtation
« Reply #30 on: April 29, 2013, 12:08:17 am »

I do not feel I am deserving of being compared to such a person.

Just for reference:

I think that for the sake of the various people potentially reading this topic that we should keep the door open.

This isn't about you so much as the fact that I keep meeting people like K or, well, a lot of other folks who don't seem to understand that they're behaving immorally.  So again, I'm going to assume that you weren't the tyrannic ass that K was, but I'm also trying to keep in mind the fact that other folks are reading this topic and might stand to learn something from it.

Sorry if this is weird.  I keep having random people pop out and tell me attempted rape or sexual assault stories (or seeing other people hear this and go "oh, too bad that didn't work out for you"), and I'm trying to stop acting like that's necessarily completely off the table.
Logged
"The question of the usefulness of poetry arises only in periods of its decline, while in periods of its flowering, no one doubts its total uselessness." - Boris Pasternak

nonbinary/genderfluid/genderqueer renegade mathematician and mafia subforum limpet. please avoid quoting me.

pronouns: prefer neutral ones, others are fine. height: 5'3".

AlleeCat

  • Bay Watcher
  • Black, the beast, descends from shadows...
    • View Profile
Re: An... awkward situtation
« Reply #31 on: April 29, 2013, 12:45:54 am »

I keep having random people pop out and tell me attempted rape or sexual assault stories
Attempted rape stories? You've got it lucky... I get all the stories where the other guy won. >_>

Vector

  • Bay Watcher
    • View Profile
Re: An... awkward situtation
« Reply #32 on: April 29, 2013, 03:05:09 am »

Those stories I usually get from the victims.
Logged
"The question of the usefulness of poetry arises only in periods of its decline, while in periods of its flowering, no one doubts its total uselessness." - Boris Pasternak

nonbinary/genderfluid/genderqueer renegade mathematician and mafia subforum limpet. please avoid quoting me.

pronouns: prefer neutral ones, others are fine. height: 5'3".

LordBucket

  • Bay Watcher
    • View Profile
Re: An... awkward situtation
« Reply #33 on: April 29, 2013, 04:18:09 am »

Vector, at risk of derailing the thread...have you ever driven a motorcycle?

When you turn your head, it tends to naturally pull your shoulders out of alignment so that one arm has a longer reach than the other. Since your hands are on the handlebars, this has the effect of moving them, causing the motorcycle to turn. Consequently...

...where you look, you tend to go.

DJ

  • Bay Watcher
    • View Profile
Re: An... awkward situtation
« Reply #34 on: April 29, 2013, 04:31:02 am »

Don't you think think jumping from talk about a minor conflict to rape is a tad prejudiced?

Anyway, my advice to OP is to deal with it. You can't be liked by everyone, and trying to achieve that will just make you miserable. If she doesn't want to talk to you, you should leave her alone.
« Last Edit: April 29, 2013, 04:49:17 am by DJ »
Logged
Urist, President has immigrated to your fortress!
Urist, President mandates the Dwarven Bill of Rights.

Cue magma.
Ah, the Magma Carta...

Vector

  • Bay Watcher
    • View Profile
Re: An... awkward situtation
« Reply #35 on: April 29, 2013, 02:05:10 pm »

. . . You think I'm soliciting sexual assault stories from people?  I don't tell most people IRL that I've been assaulted, nor that I've had multiple abusive boyfriends.  I almost never give out that information except to people who already gave theirs; so trust me, no, I'm not trying to set that particular topic of conversation.  I found out about K when folks were swapping rejection stories, and I found about one of the other guys when he got drunk on his 21st birthday and randomly started spewing information none of us wanted to hear about.  The rape victims came forward on their own, one because we'd been friends for three years prior and she was falling apart trying to deal with it on her own, another because she was trying to get help for the former friend, another because she was discussing the circumstances in her church and it was relevant to the topic of conversation.

I think it's pretty clear by now that the point I was trying to get over has been lost, so let's just drop it.
Logged
"The question of the usefulness of poetry arises only in periods of its decline, while in periods of its flowering, no one doubts its total uselessness." - Boris Pasternak

nonbinary/genderfluid/genderqueer renegade mathematician and mafia subforum limpet. please avoid quoting me.

pronouns: prefer neutral ones, others are fine. height: 5'3".

Catsup

  • Bay Watcher
    • View Profile
Re: An... awkward situtation
« Reply #36 on: April 29, 2013, 04:42:49 pm »

Look, dudes, I think that given that we know nothing about the situation it's not fair to say "it's the other person's fault for failing to get over it."  There's a lot of shitty stuff one can do to a human being where you can't say "Well, it's their fault for not getting over it."  A really, really obvious example, blown out of proportion for the sake of argument, is torture.  A somewhat less obvious example is, I dunno, persistent emotional abuse, of which I'm not accusing the OP but I think that for the sake of clean argument we have to adopt a discourse that is open to various possibilities.
love is not a fair game to play, life isnt either. Its the girls' fault for not communicating and then cutting him off if he doesnt listen if hes being abusive. It goes the other way too, theres plenty of ways for girls to torment guys.

in the case that he actually didnt do anything, then its also the girl's fault for being jelly.

After I broke up with my first boyfriend, I had nightmares and panic attacks for two years.  Then he finally apologized, and they went away completely.  That was that.  I have a hard time, given everything at hand, saying that was all my problem.  I think that for the sake of the various people potentially reading this topic that we should keep the door open.
im sorry to hear that, try your best to not let bad relationships change you. You should have told that creep to stop it the first time he hurt you. And then proceed to slap him (in public) and break up with him if he doesnt listen/does it again.

When your in a new relationship if you still have some packages that affect you then let your new bf know, and try to not judge him by comparing to your old bf's.

I talked to her. She hinted at me to stop, quite bluntly eventually. I kept trying to make conversation with her.
That's all I did.
you tried your best, its time to cut her off completely for a while.
one of the other posters said to make it clear whats going on to your current gf so she doesnt get confused, do that too.
Pages: 1 2 [3]