This is a general Dwarven Public Service Announcement about Gigantic Tortoises1.Biological researchers at Onolmeban
2 captured many live specimens of the gigantic tortoise, along with many other species of giant insects. The resident Keeper, Asmel Mistemzatam
3, took to taming the giant beasts in hopes to one day gather the eggs for breeding and harvest the creatures for their extensive shells and meat. Each tortoise can live to be over one hundred years old. Asmel took deep records and accounts of the tortoise and came down to these pieces of information.
Size: 1,239,000 to 2,478,000cm
3, meaning they can be 20 to 41 times larger than your average dwarf.
They average 27-59 pieces of meat for the butcher, 23-25 bones and 9-12 pieces of bone for the carver along with a skull.
The only wasted piece of the tortoise is the skin. They have tough, leathery scales that can not be made into armor, claims the leatherworker.
It appears that once a year, the tortoises will claim a nestbox to breed its young.
So far, these things seem like a major plus for the dwarven city of Onolmeban, but there is a drawback to these behemoths. First of all, they take up the entire damn hallway. Wherever the tortoises tread, the dwarves tend to either path around or get stuck in a giant jumble or trying to duck around each other. Secondarily, the first generation of tortoises were once wild, and thusly, long to be free again. Sometimes they will break for the surface and forget their training.
This is where Onolmeban's troubles truly begin.
Because the tortoise is so much larger than a dwarf, it can absorb a ridiculous amount of damage before it gives in. On the 23rd of Granite, 158, one of these tortoises forgot all of it's training and went wild inside of the dining hall. It made a break at the Asher Asmel Stelidzon
4, who then proceeds to punch the tortoise for something like ten pages of combat logs until he passes out from exertion. The tortoise retracted into it's shell and sat there for the entire battle.
Afterwards, it wandered around until it ran into the war grizzly bear. They engage in combat, but that was short lived...
...For the war grizzly. It bit the tortoise in the leg, and wounded it. The tortoise turned around and ripped the bear's head off. Because of the tortoise's size, it healed almost instantly. At this point, the military was alerted to the presence of the wild tortoise, and a lone axedwarf decided to take it on. He fractured the shell, but the tortoise bit his foot off. The axedwarf was instantly rushed to the hospital, and survived. The hammerdwarves rushed in and began to crush the tortoise, trying to break its impenetrable shell to no avail.
At this point, the master speardwarf grabbed his freshly forged adamantine spear, leapt into the air and struck the tortoise in the shell. It broke apart, and he epically wrestled the tortoise for a bit before he struck it in the skull with his spear, ending the battle.
The kill count: 1 tortoise, 1 war grizzly bear and an axedwarf's foot.
This is a cautionary tale for anyone who wishes to tame the gigantic tortoise. Beware it's oversized power, healing and its shell. Let the researchers of Onolmeban be a guard against any future interactions with the feared beast.
Thank you for reading,
TheyGotLeader
1: Not to be confused with their slightly smaller brethren, the
giant tortoise. Be careful of their misleading names.
2: That is "Mountainstreams", for those who do not speak Dwarven.
3: Asmel "Portalclouts", legendary keeper
4: Asmel "Washhem", adequate asher, he was a recent migrant